Parents doing drugs? What would you do in this situation?

That is such a shame to see that happen. Is there a dad or another relative in the picture you can confide in? hope she doesn't have to hit rock bottom and possibly loose her kids to wake up. It seems like an awful lot of people do.

Maybe you could try to talk with your friend again and remind her of the way things were before, the fact that she was a good mom. Maybe you should also remind her that if her state child welfare agency gets involved, it will not be good, she could lose her kid's and foster care is not a fun place for any child. Have you considered talking with someone in her family like her parents or siblings? Maybe its time to tell your friend that if she don't seek treatment, you will be forced to call the authorties yourself. Someone needs to stand up for the children, will it be you? If you don't and something hobbible happens, you will feel guilty for the rest of your life. Mary

Well being a mom and a addict myself I have to tell ya that I'm sorry but that IS abusive behaviour and the more she parties the worse it WILL get....ppl dont see it as such but it is and I think that if you truly care and are concerned about not just her but also her kids you should seriously consider how far you are willing to go

I would start by talking to her, sitting her down and explaining to her that u are worried and that u only want what is good for her. If she is at all "here" she will get that. She might get angry - but at the same time u are telling her what u feel and in the longrun she will appreciate it

I feel for you having to be in this position. I have a friend that has a problem with this. I was planning on posting a discussion about another situation in this theater. Have you sat her down and really talked to her? I mean talking when she's not under the influence if at all possible? Once someone is an addict they're always an addict. Even if they're clean they have to wrestle with staying that way the rest of they're life. It's not safe for them to ever use anything again as far as I'm concerned. If you can't get through to her I would try and talk to her family about it. If she doesn't want her family to know I think you should anyhow. This is a situation that's gonna get out of control really fast. I think you should involve her family so you hae all the hellp you can get and try to get her into treatment right away. Good luck.

i have been clean 13 years now. you are never cured though. since she has no one for you to go to for help your best thing is to sit down with her and try to talk to her. whatever you do dont try to tell her what to do though she will back away from you. you have to think of the kids. and if she pushes you away it will be hard to be there for them. i am not sure how old they are but i am sure if they are taking care of them selves then they know somethings up. kids are smarter then we all think. let the kids know that if they need you you are there that will help them for right now. as far as she goes the one thing you can do is tell her you care for her and your worried. tell her that you see her slipping back and that she may not see it but her kids are needing her. i personally wouldnt call cps unless the kids are going without food, clothes, water, electric , or are being hit etc. now if you think the kids are in danger call or go talk to one of the kids counslors at school. cps gets involved and they take the kids it will hurt them plus she may get worse cause she lost her babies. try talking to the boyfriend if that is an option. video her being dumb and not paying attention to the kids and when she is sober show her. it may give her a kick in the butt. best thing you can do is be there. if she relizes now or in a year etc she will fall and need you to help pick her up.

Hi Astromama, I have been in a similar situation, and let me second the sentiment that it stinks in so many ways. However, the children's welfare must be first and foremost. Sadly, this generally means risking the friendship. I cannot tell you what you should do. But, will share with you what I ultimately decided to do. I sat down with my friend, in the early afternoon. After the hangover had worn off, but before the new high was underway. I said in no uncertain terms ... "Get rid of him, get yourself clean again, or I will personally call Child Protective Services and support them taking your children away." Yes, it did hit the fan. But, she knew I wouldn't offer an ultimatum if I wasn't sincere in my threat to carry through. I gave her 24 hours to make her decision. And, told her that there would be no quarter given. Meaning, that if she thought that she could play games like: 'Well, I'll take him back after a week', that she would live to regret it. Good news is: Her children were more important to her than her latest tryste. She dumped him and got her act together. She's really embraced the Twelve Steps and is doing great!!! Tough love is what's called for here. A drunk/junkie will not be reasoned with unless the stakes are that high. Even then, some will choose the high over the kids. If your friend lived that many years clean & sober, then her kids are valuable -- and your friend may yet be reached. Best of luck to all.

WOW. I really don't know what to tell you on how to get her to see what's she's doing. I believe she'll probably have to come to that realization on her own. I would just hope it's sooner rather than later. If her kids teachers find about her habits, she might lose them to the foster care system. Does she know that her behavior might result in her children being taken from her? I really feel for those poor babies :(

stay out of others relationships do not interfear with others life styles! how would you like me to tell you how to run your life? if you realy want to inter fear and ruin you friendship then report your friend to the police and child welfare workers

I'm not really sure what I would do right now in this case either than pay close attention to what is happening with the children. If the children continue to be taken care of, then I would not push any issue with the friend and her boyfriend. However, if you should see things turning for the worse for the kids, then i would definitely step in and do or say something about it. Maybe your friends love is truly blinding her to life as she once knew it.

That sounds really bad, but maybe as your friend you can talk her into seeking professional help- lets not wait until she reaches the point where she abuses her kids. Ask her who does she loves more? Her kids or the guy… make her choose before it’s too late. I know that there are lots on instances that these kinds of things happen, but like they say, prevention is indeed better than cure. You have to try to make her realize what is more important to her before things get out of hand. I know this may sound as if you're being invasive on her life and that she might get mad at you for being nosy, but you’re just doing what you think friends should do at a time like this. I hope she listens to you and heeds your advice. I wish you the best of luck in this and I do hope your friend realizes what to do before It's too late.

How long has it been going on? How old are the kids? Did she get clean the last time with a program? If it's only been a couple of weeks, I might say just watch it for another minute before doing anything. Although it's very serious, very upsetting & of course possibly very unsafe- maybe she will see that on her own & seek out help. If she stopped using before through NA (or similar program) maybe just encouraging her to get back to going to meetings, calling her old contacts & doing the steps again will make her see that sobriety is valuable to her. If it's been going on for awhile already & she's not trying to get help, I think you have no choice but to either contact her family or contact child services. You can contact child services without giving your name.

This is a very difficult topic. Loe blinds us all at times. Ultimately all you can do is be there and give advice and help. in the end if she doesnt want the advice there isnt much you can do. you cant control someone elses behaviour.

Be there for her. I think that you have done all you can by talking to her. She has to realize her destructive behavior and stop. You may want to let the children know that if they need you, they can contact you ( if they are old enough). Her behavior can have serious consequences for her children up to and including the possibility of her children coming into foster care if she fails to properly care for them and the authorities are notified. She may not be abusive toward her children but she certainly sounds as if she may be somewhat neglectful of them.

theres no SOLUTION FOR this problem

ou .ou that's terrible.if i am you ,i will adjust to him.because he is my friend ,i don't want him be crazy,just be normal.that'enough.