How do you deal with rude or unwarranted replies?
By joanana
@joanana (770)
United States
March 22, 2007 7:07pm CST
Since my time here at mylot I've seen and have received a few rude responses in discussions and I'm wondering how do you deal with them?I find it odd because doesn't basic manners dictate that if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all?
I got really irked today because in one discussion I started where I asked for some places to earn revenue from that did not involve a flood of emails one person decided to respond and suggest I get a job.
That implies that they think money making practises online are for the jobless and lazy slackers who don't want to get a job. So what does this make this person? lol Besides that, I do have a job (two in fact) but what's wrong with making money on the side?
I gave the person a negative rating because the response was uncalled for, rude, and didn't offer anything in way of advice for online money making programs, which is what I was looking for. It was like replying to a thread asking for an opinion on a movie you haven't seen.
So what would you have? What do you do when people respond to discussions with "I've never heard/seen/done" ect. comments? For the really rude and insulting comments what do you do? Rate, report?
18 people like this
50 responses
@willocfc (963)
• Australia
23 Mar 07
I am yet to give out a negative rating as sometimes as much as we disagree with someones response everyone is entitled to an opinion which is what makes this site so great.
Like everything with life you are always going to get the good along with the bad so i just wouldnt pay any attention, some people just leave something rude to try and get you to retaliate so if you are doing that you are giving them what they want.
Karma is a beautiful thing and they will get theres in due time
4 people like this
@joanana (770)
• United States
23 Mar 07
Indeed, what goes around comes around. In all honesty they're the second person to get a negative rating from me. Normally I would have just ignored it but it felt like a personal insult/attack and that was what irked me the most.
Had it been a contrary opinion I would have welcomed it. But the comment was really just unwarranted and considering they're here posting at mylot to earn money - it was hypocritical. You know? lol :)
1 person likes this
@joanana (770)
• United States
23 Mar 07
See, I think that if you have a differing opinion and you want to voice it that's fine. Just do so in a mature and logical manner.
What I don't get is people replying just to be rude or insulting, or just to say they know nothing about a topic. Why bother?
2 people like this
@chesssy (203)
• Philippines
24 Mar 07
because this is a paying forum.
i get what you mean, like why do they waste their time and effort in typing when they don't have anything constructive to say. i guess there really are people out there who do not have anything better to do.
it's also up to us whether to give them what they want, which is attention, or not.
@nrnotrare (631)
• United States
23 Mar 07
Hello joanana.....
Rude and off topic responses should be reported and rated negatively
Never reporting or rating negatively is against mylot polcies. They need and request our help locating the crap that needs to be removed.
Do your part to improve mylot and the time we spend here.
Read the do's and don'ts to see for yourself.
Tom
2 people like this
@tonylueng (1)
• China
23 Mar 07
Hi~~Joanana,
I agree with Tom's opinion.If I suffer such rude replies and response,I won't waste my time in blaming or rating them.It's doing nothing useful for your mood or daily living.You can rest assurd about such kinds of comments.
Best regards,
Tony Lueng
1 person likes this
@Stringbean (1273)
• United States
23 Mar 07
Usually, unless they include profanity, or try to insult my intelligence, I just ignore them. There are all kinds of people on here and to allow the response of a few of them to spoil our day is just wasting even more of our time. You can't really get to know someone by a discussion he starts or a response he or she offers, so I find that ignoring their answer is best. (I sure wouldn't choose them as best response, even if they were the only response I got.)
@jmasterson (27)
• United States
23 Mar 07
Its sad that people have to be so negative and rude. I just feel sorry that these people lead a sad life and ignore them lol
2 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
23 Mar 07
People come to myLot for a whole spectrum of reasons. One would be to let off frustration. If you are surprised, don't be. Some people do come here to "let off their steam" so to speak. So if they see something they can yell at, they will, and have fun in the process.
So do what you did. Give them a negative rating and move on. ;-)
@annettenasser (2992)
• Kuwait
23 Mar 07
if someone answer rude to my discussion or to someone im going to reply with, i gvie them what is necessesary, just press the ! sign at the right part of the reply discussion and soon mylot will do their part.God help them..
1 person likes this
@littlefranciscan (18327)
• United States
23 Mar 07
It is sad how rude people can be..I tend to point out that they have offended me then we get to discussing..then fussing and finally I turn to prayer..and ask God into the conversation and usually things turn around ..Either because the person doesnt want to discuss Godly things or because grace has worked ..
I think people who are heartless really show that they are lacking something and perhaps ..it's our duty to reach out to them..yes even if they have stabbed us verbally and made us look like mud..
What they do outwardly has to come from witin..and it makes you wonder..what has caused them to become so mean and hatetul..it's not something that has happened in a day..but something that has taken years..Perhaps someone had hurt them and they have not been healed and so they continue to lash out ..at whoever appears to be adding salt to their wound from many years ago..
Simply try to ignore them or try to lead them to see what they are doing is wrong..They may be hostile for awhile...eventually goodness triumphs..if after many attempts;)+
1 person likes this
@mnflower (1299)
• United States
23 Mar 07
I would never rate them and negative, because as others have said everyone else has there own opinions and that is what mylot is for, whether you take it as rude,or offensive that is you, but that might not of been the way the person that posted it really intended it to be. If I don't know what someone is talking about or if it is a place I haven't heard of there are several times i would tell them I didn't know and ask them if they could explain to me so I would know. there is nothing wrong with that, that is what a discussion is...expressing ones feelings and communication.
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
23 Mar 07
Do nothing...Don't bother..Jaz ignore it.. It will spoil your day if you have to put it as a big deal or if u get affected by it. You have to consider that, someone responds to your discussions based on their opinions. Take it easy my dear. Don't be too sensitive and easily iritated by other's remarks to your discussion.
1 person likes this
@joanana (770)
• United States
23 Mar 07
Thank you but even though it irked me when I saw it the comment hardly ruined my day ;)
If you just ignore comments like that though and the people that make them then they are free to continue on as they are unchecked and eventually the bad element snowballs and begins to ruin the good time had by all. Wouldn't it then be our duty to check them?
@CheSabCabMD (619)
• Philippines
23 Mar 07
I IGNORE them.. There were times I was tempted to reply with an equally rude or insulting remark, but I'm like "What the heck..".. I'm not stooping down to their level.. God bless the rude and arrogant people in myLot..
@Jellytang (698)
• China
23 Mar 07
I will response to the posts seriously.After considering their answers carefully, I can decide how to answer them. And certainly, my answers are all around the topics which can show that I am not a person easy to bait.
@joanana (770)
• United States
24 Mar 07
That's good that you don't allow yourself to be baited. Normally I'll ignore or post a response that ignores the rudness as I've gotten pretty much to the point where I don't like confrontations. Too many jobs with up and in your face clientale will do that to a person.
@aengeLusz (81)
• Philippines
23 Mar 07
first and foremost i would like to clear this isn't a rude reply ok.. from what i could see it's your choice if you ignore, report or rate.. but you know what's best?? IGNORE it cause from the reply you said from someone you stated "he don't know you" so you don't know him either.. so it's just quits. you don't give a damn on him and you don't give back. yeah it would hurt your feelings and whatever things will be hurt but ignoring is the most peaceful and humane way. and i believe you see yourself highly intellect than him right?? then why bother rating, reporting or asking him. in fact, that is a point to you here in myLot. to have many comments and opinion and believe me YOU can't control opinion. it's an opinion so you should take it wether it is right or wrong when it strikes you. if it's right reply to it. if it's not ignore. this site is not always yeah-you're-great and yeah-i-love-that. so expect the unexpected.
@joanana (770)
• United States
25 Mar 07
Which is exactly why I just gave a generic 'thank you for you comment' with minor polite modificats and then rated it negatively. I didn't even post the member's name in this thread for that reason. ;)
I think though that if you always turn a blind eye to bad behavior that you encourage it to continue which is why I will rate negatively or report when necessary.
@joanana (770)
• United States
23 Mar 07
I'm certainly not looking for "yeah I love that" comments, I welcome conflicting view, however in my opinion there is a time when one should just know to keep their opinions to themselves. Now you, and several others, have stated that the person was just voicing their opinion but is it really an opinion or just a lack of breeding and manners? After all, if a child told a teacher to "go f**k themselves" that would be, by your definition, an opinion as well. yet clearly that is just a lack of manners.
If we were to ignore those sort of comments all the time then what would be the purpose of the rating buttons next to each comment?
Thank you for your comment! :)
@aengeLusz (81)
• Philippines
25 Mar 07
yeah i got your point...
but it wouldn't hurt to just forget it right???
cause it'll just make the person who you are in bad terms with more popular... not to mention earn more.
hehehehehehe
@priyankabose80 (13)
• India
23 Mar 07
i am new to mylot.com, i work, i want to earn more...but i am sure its not always when u've got to do things for fun.
i like discussions..and i hope to be nice and a hope to have some real fun talks..
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
23 Mar 07
If they are really aggravating report them that will teach them.LOL Otherwise just tell them how you feel about rude people and move on.
@jojopuff (520)
• United States
23 Mar 07
I have also received rude responses in discussions I have started as well. Unless it is really offensive, I will just rate them negatively. If it's really bad, I would report it as abuse. Wherever you go in life, there will always be losers who try to get on your nerves or just be plain annoying. That has been the way I've handled rude responses in the past.
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
23 Mar 07
For cases like that, joanana, I will either ignore them or simply press the ! button and report the offenders. This is one thing that I really can't understand about these people. They have nothing better to do than to mess the beauty of our discussions. But I wouldn't be surprised if I see something like that again. Why...just yesterday somebody respond to my thread that's obnoxious. Its a good thing mylot deleted it right away.
@joanana (770)
• United States
23 Mar 07
Yes that seems to be the general consensus and one I agree with either ignore, because maybe that's not how the comment was intended, or report/rate negatively. Either way one should hope the person would wise up and realize their immature actions aren't welcome.
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
23 Mar 07
Personally, I have not encountered such in my discussions. Probably I have a higher treashold for rudeness :P
However, if I come across any responses (even though it is not in my discussions), which, by my standards, is rude or unwarranted, I would not hesitate to give a minus to the response. Much as I wished to be nice even to these people, my finger will not listen to me. It's just the impartial me at work.
@Emilie88 (143)
• Canada
23 Mar 07
I just ignore them ...I tell myself that those people aren't worth my effort or time. It makes me angry just to think I would spend my valuable time cuz of a rude person that has nothing else to do but wanting you to get angry at them.. You have to be carefull though, people can be rude when they don't have the same opinion as you do for some subject. I think you have to respect their ipinions even if they can sometimes say it a rude way. But if the person is personnally attacting you that's when I say you should ignore them.
@joanana (770)
• United States
23 Mar 07
Indeed conflicting opinions can come across as rude when not intended. However you also have to take into consideration the manner and situation in which the comment was given. Say a comment on why abortion is okay in response to a discussion on views on abortion by someone against abortion. I would say that the conflicting opinion is well welcomed. The comment though that I received was not only off in context but was also accusatory. To me there is a difference between voicing an opinion and just trying to verbaly flail a person :)
