sadness

To begin with let me tell you how sad it makes me feel to read your post. My heart goes out to you..I have known some really bad times in my own life and know that it is so easy to just think nothing will ever go right..and why am I here?...but you are here for a reason and although there may be pain associated with your life right now, that can all change. You can even help change it. You seem to have the theme of being hurt,unappreciated, physically abused and unloved...any one of those things by themselves would be painful..and all of them together must feel overwhelming..but you must not consider taking your life..that is a permanent solution to a temporary problem...Have you ever considered therapy of any kind? Or don't you trust that system?...There are so many good professionals in this world that have the skills and education to walk you through this maze called life... and no matter what has occurred in your life...true freedom is defined by what you choose to do with what has been done to you....you don't have to own all that baggage...you can sort through it and begin to enjoy a life that's built on a foundation you pour for yourself...not someone else's idea of who you are or what you should be...I'm sure many people care about you...and I'm sure if they really knew what you are going through they would try to help...Please don't focus on taking your life...Please listen to someone that doesn't even know you but still cares...me...I have been through much of the scenerio you paint for yourself in my life..but I chose to be a survivor and not impower the people who hurt me and took advantage of me..by making that choice I have lived a very happy and full life and surrounded myself with people I love and that love me...It can be done..and you have the power to do it...I hope that you chose to free yourself in the sense of overcoming the problems and charting a course for your life to be happy and enjoy true freedom...Be Well and be strong...Don't be afraid of getting help..we all need help sometime.....Know there are people who care and know that you can care for yourself..which is the most important person to love you...yourself....Take care...and let me hear from you...

you just have to let go all your negative emotions and feelings..just live life happily..be thankful for the gift of life..

You are obviously not a happy camper. My best advice to you is to let go some of the negative thoughts and start seeing positive things. Nothing is all bad, even the darkest cloud will have some bit of a silver lining. There is not much you can do about what has happened in the past except to let it go so it doesn't cloud your future. Good luck and hopefully happines will come for you...:}