Torn between the doctrines and my feelings

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Help! I'm in this dilemma where I have to choose between the doctrines of the church and the man I came to love. I was married 4 years ago and got separated (physically, not really legally) 2 years ago. My husband and I absolutely stopped from being married to each other and decided to live separate lives. Divorce and legal separation is not an option because the church will not allow it, God doesn't approve of divorce. I actually don't have a problem about not having a legal separation because I thought, "Hell! I won't enter another relationship anymore anyway, so why the fuss?" But I was wrong, I met this guy, and I've come to realize I wanna start a family with him. I know it's so easy for some people, you guys might say, I just have to turn my back from the man I love and stay within the boundaries of the scriptures, or the other way around... But I'm really confused...