should i teach my son manners?

Wow, you need to rethink some of your ideas. Your parents home is not your son's home. Your parents should have complete authority over his behavior while they are caring for him. If I were you, I would quit my job and stay home long enough to teach your son how to behave. If you cannot afford that, you at least should get a different child care arrangement. Your parents have already raised their family and should not be expected to raise yours.

You need to teach your child to respect his grandparents home and their properties. The home you live in is your home, your parents home is THEIR home. You should be thankful that your parents will watch your child. Many people don't have the advantage of having thier parents care for their children while working. You shouldn't be getting upset with your mother for telling you what is going on, you should be punishing your child for his bad manners.

Don't teach old dogs new tricks as the saying goes. It is good for you to discipline your son as he is still very young. Kids are receptive and would obey more than when they grow old. Responsible parenting means that you produce or grow up responsible and good-mannered children. Don't wait till the time that when your son grows up and you can't control him anymore. Teach him respect, too.

Having grandparents babysit is HARD I know. My daughter is 19 months old and extreamly well behavied problem is I see her not being so behaived after leaving grandmas. Gram will let my daughter (Luann) do basically what ever she wants. My daughter recently learned the word "no" if she wants some thing that she shouldn't have say a pen from an end table if Gram says give that to me Luann will say NO - Gram will give Luann a peice of paper and say fine here color. If it was me and I said give me that pen and she said NO - I would take it from her and explain I said give that to me - we only color at the table this pen is not for you to play with. I could go on and on but I think you get the point. I uderstand your telling your son to feel comfortable in grandmas house. I would do the same thing. If I may be so blunt what I am seeing is - Grandma isn't really watching your son - she is there in case some thing happens but there isn't any interaction - He is getting into things becuase he needs some thing to do. I agree that your son should feel just as comfortable at Grandmas as at home. I guess not all families are like that. Take my family for example - when I go to my grandmas house I don't call I don't even knock on the door I just walk in. My husband he calls before he goes to his grandmas and knocks waits for her to answer before going in. Which should it be?? The way my family does it or his?? Here is my sugestion - I would talk to Grandma about closing doors to rooms he shouldn't be in. Tell you son he isn't allowed in Grandmas bedroom and what not. Then I would bring a few things over: For your son bring a coloring book - for Grandma bring a cross word book - Its some thing they can sit and do together. I'm sure he has toys and what not at Grandmas but maybe he needs different ones or like I said ones that Grandma is willing to play with too. Think back to when you were a kid - what toys did she play with -with you? Hope this helps and good luck - I would stay with telling your son to feel comfortable at grandmas but with little limitation. He is 7 so he is old enough for you to talk to him and explain - Grandmas don't like it when you ...

If your parents don't mind your son treating their house as his own, thats fine. However, I think that when he is in their house he should respect their authority and obey their rules. If grandma tells him not to open the fridge door, then he should respect that, not just think 'I can do it at home, so I can do it here too'. Your parents are entitled to set rules and boundries within their own house. I think that a child should maintain their manners, no matter where they are. That includes at home. At home I would still expect my child to say please, thank you, and if I tell them not to do something, I expect them to follow that. To me, it doesn't matter if they are at my house, my parents house, or anyone elses house. Manners are common courtesy, they should be displayed everywhere. I think that perhaps you and your mum need to discuss what is acceptable behaviour for your son when he is at her house. Then have a chat with your son about what he can and can't do. He really needs to respect what Grandma tells him to do though.

too premature to teach him. just give him some time. do not beat him or abuse him in front of others. make him understand with love and care. i am sure he will learn. have a bit of patience..

I know this is an old discussion but I hadn't seen it earlier. Though my son does have freedom at his grandparents' place (my parents), he has to follow their rules there...doesn't matter what he is allowed to do at our place. Though that's the way I see it, it's my husband who gets upset when my parents are strict with him and don't allow our son to jump on the furniture. Basically these are things that I would want my son to do at our place too...but because of my husband's leniency, I turn a blind eye to some things that upset me. I feel manners should be followed everywhere even in one's own home. How else would the child learn? That's my personal opinion...but being in India, I understand perfectly what you say. Maybe you should look at other options during holidays to avoid this stress for you.

I guess you mom had enough of 7yrs mischives (when you were 7 :} ),so when she has managed you i guess you have to be responsible for your son , get him into something both constructive aswell as fun for him, and a time out for you, my cousins put ther son into the activity center , while they are at office , there he learn , play and eat so you see you have to simply pay a minimal amount for your satisfaction.

Dear Sudipta Though I am unmarried and I don't have much knowledge on how to deal with a seven year old kid .. I am responding to your discussion .. Well I think that you need to teach your child manners on how to behave with his grandparents and your parents must be quite old and they must be finding it hard to tackle your child. So it's better that you should look in for some other options where you can keep your son rather than leaving him with your mother because she might be in a difficult situation that's why she is complaining all this to you. I don't think your son will be perfect by only your wordings because he is at such tender age .. in which a child hardly listens to what you teach him.