on being a mistress...

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for sometime now i guess i should accept the fact that i have let things happen, i am now a legitimate mistress... it bothers me, but i love him... he's a british national married to a filipina, the wife is a b*tch! history of this affair is...I was his girlfriend before he met this b*tch... he came to the philippines to meet me but lost his baggage and never got it until after a week of stay in the philippines...so to make a long story short, he's a tourist and went out to a bar in pasig city where a taxi driver brought him... met this woman and got drunk... next day when he woke up he is already married to this woman who turned out to be a goddaughter of a mayor somewhere north of manila... it's an illegal process,...since he didn't carry any documents with him and without the capacity to marry, the marriage is illegal... so he went back to the UK confused but still had pushed through with petitioning the b*tch... he sent me an email about what happened and that he was drunk... i chose to not talk to him anymore after that... after 3 years, i got an email from him telling me he tried so much to get along with the b*tch but he could not take it anymore and that he still loves me... at this time i am still so much in-love with him though i have had other boyfriends... so we decided to see each other and connected and decided we should really be together.... it's been two years that we have been seing each other whenever he would take a vacation here in the Philippines, and we would stay in a hotel and spend as much time as we could of course hiding... cannot be seen in public.. cannot go to malls... those times we would be so happy... then he said he would leave his wife and just let her be in the UK and he would live here... i don't know but i am waiting for things to happen.. and i am beginning to demand from him... i love him so much and wants him around, with me, by my side... but the thought that i might be a mistress for life frightens me... i know that he loves me so much, and i love him too so much... should i wait until he's divorced and start on a clean slate? or should i just let things be and be a mistress for life?