Are kids getting worse?
By Erilyn
@Erilyn (3020)
United States
March 23, 2007 3:35pm CST
Today my 14 year old 8th grader came home from school and informed me that another one of the girls in her class is preg. Thats makes 3 preg girls in 8th grade. And she knows of 4 preg high school girls. Here I was still debating wether or not for sure to homeschool her. This cinches it for me. If it wasn't for the fact that I have to give the school board 30 days notice or she is truant I wouldn't let her go back.
What's changed since we were kids? Granted I don't have a whole lot of room to talk as I was 17 when my oldest was born. I went to a very large school and I was the only one in school that was preg. Unlike most of the girls my daughter knows I went back to high school after she was born. I got an honors degree, I worked at night to pay day care and to be able to feed her, I grew up and faced my responsiblities.
You hear more and more often that girls as young as 13 are having children. They are dropping out of school and sitting on welfare for most of their lifes and don't get the basic skills they need to survive on their own. What has changed in our soiciety that has made it more acceptable?
what are we not doing as parents to teach our children the right values? My daughter has sworn to be a virgin till she is married and I hope that she holds to that. I have explained to her how hard it was for me raising her at that age by myself, however I have never made her feel as if she was a mistake. I guess I just don't understand what has changed. It just might be me ranting I dunno. What does everyone else thing about this issue?
5 people like this
15 responses
@Lovett (464)
• India
24 Mar 07
Well I guess, the fact that we don't instill the right values in our children at the young age is the root of the problem.I feel that if we as parents be firm with our children in their needs and actions and also control their actions by eg- telling them the right programme to be watched by them , would help. Also , now a days every decent channel also has some vulgarity in it which makes children more susceptible in doing these mistakes at an early age. You went through the same mess, but it is your reward that your child today is matured mentally ,unlike the one in her school, n she is in a position to make really brave decisions at a young age. You should be proud of her n try to be as open to her as possible bout these things. You really r a strong woman , n r a good example of a strong woman to your daughter.Take care:))
2 people like this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Thank you very much. I have tried to instill the right values in her and show her that she can be successful in her life on her own. That she doesn't need a man in her life and what she needs to focus on. She told me the other days one of her "friends" was making fun of her for being a virgin. She said that she told her "Well at least I know I don't have any diseases, and how exactly did you get mono?" She said that ended the discussion right then and there.I hope she can continue to stand up to her friends like that.
1 person likes this
@eden32 (3973)
• United States
23 Mar 07
I really don't think the percentage of girls who become pregnant as teens have changed much for a long time. As a matter of fact I seem to remember reading the numbers had gone down a couple years ago for the first time in decades. I think it's just that we're much more apt to hear about it now. Girls are no longer shipped off to homes for unwed mothers or relatives in distant states to have their babies in secret & place them for adoption or keep their child but never finish school. As for it being girls who are younger, that seems very possible. There has been studies wondering why more girls are getting their periods earlier & earlier than generations before. They've said for a long time 9-16 years old was the norm, but the 9years old getting it were few & far between. Now it's not unheard of for even 8 year olds to have it. So you have girls who are physically capable of getting pregnant younger.
2 people like this
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
24 Mar 07
Yes I think the kids are definetly getting worse and its because they dont have parents that are around them enough. Everyone has to work these days and the parents are just not there for them. when we were younger alot of the moms were at home. I truely believe thats the problem we need more stay at home moms.
1 person likes this
@Calais (10893)
• Australia
24 Mar 07
Its disgusting the amount of times you hear this. I think its totally the parents fault, wether it be laziness to look after and teach their kids right from wrong or they are too self absorbed in their selves. I think the laziness is the answer there is no discipline and respect and kids get away with anything these days.
1 person likes this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I don't think that it has to do with laziness in all cases. If you read back to what I said before in some of my responses it is more us as parents not being able to be there for our kids. My mom worked 2 jobs and my stepfather was a truck driver. my parents were never around, but it was because they had to work not becasue they were lazy. being the oldest I had to look after my 2 brothers all the time. My mom wishes that she was able to be there for her kids, she was just unable to becasue she was more concerned about keeping a roof over our heads and keeping us fed.
@cherriemae (3370)
• Philippines
28 Mar 07
I think so, that kids nowadays are getting worse when it comes to early relationship.. Some of these kids are getting in this kind of attitude because it's also fault of the parents, because some parents have no time for their kids. They have no time for them to talk to their children about getting early relationships and good values in life..It's so sad that pregnancy this time is getting worst to the teens and even younger ones..We cant stop them if they wanted that act but see to it that always remind them what are the consequences after..
1 person likes this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
28 Mar 07
I try to be as open and honest with my daughter as I can keeping her age in mind. I hope that she has been able to understand what could happen and keep that in mind. It would be great if parents could spend the time with their kids. Unfortuantly not all can, and some now just don't want to. It seems that children have almost become disposible. I have known a few paople that have had kids just for the income they could get from child support, welfare etc. That type of behavior is being taught to these kids. There has to be a point when we say enough is enough and reform the system.
@Galena (9110)
•
24 Mar 07
I don't think it is that children are getting worse.
I think it's that it's not hushed up, and hidden away like a dirty shameful secret.
my nan had her first child before marriage, was sent away to stay with relatives, then the baby was taken away to be adopted.
so it's not that it didn't happen. then or that it happened much less.
it's that we hear about it.
1 person likes this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
26 Mar 07
This is true, but I don't think it was as rampant as it is these days. I think it being more in our faces has made it more rampant. Girls who don't feel like they are loved or feel that they need someone that will love them think that it is a good option.
@magikrose (5429)
• United States
24 Mar 07
I keep hearing stories alot and honestly I think it has to do with the fact that today we are not allowed to spank our kids any more. When we were kids we were afraid of getting spanked for bad behavior today that is not alowed any more. I honestly think if we were allowed to disclipine our kids the way we feel fit but not beat them then things would be diffrent.
1 person likes this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I think thats part of it, I also think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we have made our kids "latchkey kids". With both parents working and a lot of parents not being able to afford daycare for older children, our kids are also less monitored.
@koikoikoi (1246)
• United States
24 Mar 07
Well in my honest opinion I think it's sick. What kind of sick society do we live in now? It's disgusting. It truly is. And you know what's scary. It's only going to get worse.
1 person likes this
@aditya_tanha4u (153)
• India
24 Mar 07
hey erilyn..1st ofall i would like to say that it's better to take off your child from such a school were on 8 grade itself student get preg.......bytwy nowdays such new's r not new..these all r going around....
@buldwgz (1489)
• United States
24 Mar 07
Kids are the same now as they ever were. Think about it. The average life span just a few centuries ago was 30 to 40 years, so, naturally, people did stuff at a much younger age then, good and bad. Most people don't study history and just think of when they were younger and hear older people complain about the "young people of today". I am 40 now and my kids are 15 and 14 and the stories they come home with are exactly like the ones from my youth.
A few things to think about...Billy the Kid was called a kid for a reason...and he was no angel, nor was he very different than others his age. If you read the bible at all, study it deeply and you will see that Mary had Jesus around the age of 12 or 13 and out of wedlock...that was 2000 years ago. And she was not really so different either. We should work to understand that the world isn't a much different place really, just that we are growing older and more mature, at least I hope.
1 person likes this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Yes in history people were having children earlier, they were also marrying earlier. Yes Mary did have Jesus out of wedlock, however she was also still a virgin at the time. I think that becasue the life span has gotten longer we have changed our expectations of life and our kids.
@mavrone_yefriend (117)
• India
24 Mar 07
Hello dear, well to tell you something on this issue , it depends totally on the relationship of the girl. Well in today's world either the girl is too eager to wait for marriage or it can be just for fun. There are the values which are inculcated in the kids right from their childhood about how do they need to maintain themselves or how do they behave or keep relationships in the world aroubd them. I have seen many friends having many restrictions and they are doing well ,also there are friends whose parents are fooled by thier kids and they do a lot many things , whose knowledge is not to the parents. So life goes on, the mind-set of people and children differ and no nne can make out what's right and what's wrong. You just tell your kids what do you expect from them and see what happens ahead!!
1 person likes this
@EvanHunter (4026)
• United States
24 Mar 07
I think the answer is probly do to are parents getting worse or is society getting worse. 50 years ago it was common for one parent to work and make a decent living. Now we have both parents at work and we still have less than what we had before.
1 person likes this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Part of the problem is that we as parents have been robbed of our ablity to disiclipne our kids. They have all the power now. All it takes is a call to Child protective services and we as parents can be arrested. I think what that does is makes it harder for parents who don't abuse their kids then for the abusive parents. I understand that the laws were put in place to protect kids, but I think it has just made things worse. They basically tell kids if you don't like how your parents are treating you then make the call.
@rushixcape (3)
• India
24 Mar 07
this is not the case every where and you know rather
every one knows that childrens are getting intelligent but if they use there brain in this side of life then it would be a disgrace to our mankind
1 person likes this
