Reward or discipline, what do you preach?

I think a little of both is necessary. A lot of love and rewards and a little discipline for good measure. A child will be all the better for it. They will also have plenty of self confidence to do what they need to as adults. My son told me the other day. That the only reason he did so well in school is because I told him how great he did whenever he got good grades or did his chores. He is in college now and is on the deans list every semester. So guess I did something right.

To a point, I agree, but I don't think it hurts to give a reward now and then along the way, just to let the kids know you appreciate that they are living up to their responsibilities. Just like I think it would be nice for your husband to bring you flowers or take you out to dinner now and then for the same reason.

yes, they are learning to take the responcibilty that they will have when they leave the house. they need to learn if there stuffs not done ,what would happen.

I can't see why it has to be an either/or situation. I think that in these times it often seems that appropriate behaviour can be so rare that we reward it instead of true achievement. However, I think it is important to have a balance of reward and discipline. Let the children know when they have done something good, so that they will know that you care about them and what they do. I also believe that there should be an appropriate level of discipline and that they should learn to take responsibility for their actions as it teaches them resilience and coping skills. If all they get is discipline then they may start feeling that no matter what they aren't good enough and can't do anything right. A young child can't appreciate the value of a lesson in itself although many young adults can look back on their lives and see the value of these lessons.

of course, i do agree with you. it is important children are trained to be responsible because they are the leaders of tommotrrow.

I totally agree. Kids shouldn't get rewarded for doing chores. Those are things they should be doing without expecting something in return. My husband says that we provide them with a roof over thier head, food to eat, and clothing to wear. The least they could do is pick up after themselves and help out around the house. I get so aggrevated by my stepsons mom. She gives him a allowance for doing chores (which if taught that it is not a reward but he is earning it like a job it's okay) but he is not learning that he is earning that money. Because regardless of whether he has done his chores right or not he gets his allowance. He then comes over here and expects the same. The bad thing is there is no talking to his mom, she won't listen to anyone.