what is baggage??
By MsTickle
@MsTickle (25180)
Australia
March 23, 2007 10:09pm CST
Fellow MyLotians...have you heard this expression? If you are looking for love a lot of people won't want to know you if you are carrying baggage. So what is baggage in your opinion?
To me it's all the hurt and pain, hang ups, phobias, fears, and bad memorys and scars of a former life or relationship that went bad. It can be childhood suffering. It can be the death of a parent.
How is a person supposed to come with no baggae. It is what has made us who we are. We need to look at it sometimes to understand who we are to see where we have come from and how we have not only survived but how we've grown.
To my way of thinking anyone who is my age (fifties) must have baggage or else they must be totally selfish and unfeeling or else they've lived the most boring life imaginable.
What's your perception of this concept?
6 people like this
9 responses
@deesamps (653)
• United States
24 Mar 07
It varies for different people, like some people might see having children as baggage, whereas I see baggage as someone that is still not over an ex,and that they can't seem to move on from a past experience. Everyone has some so of baggage that they carry around with them, it just depends on how they deal with it to determine what kind of person they will turn out to be.
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
24 Mar 07
Gosh, pretty sad that kids can fall into the category of baggage. Lol.
I know what you mean by moving on. I was getting to know a chappy who constantly bought his ex into the conversation. I knew more about her than him. When I suggested that he was not over his wife he asked why I thought that and I told him because he keeps talking about her. He shouted at me and said but you keep asking me about her. We agreed to not talk about her but he was not comfortable. He really needed to talk about it and get it out of his sytem I felt but I wasn't going to hang around for him to shout at me and abuse me. Loser! LOL.
1 person likes this
@Quadren777 (158)
• Canada
24 Mar 07
Baggage to me can be viewed as a negative thing most of the time. It's all the bad things or incidents that have happened to you that you can't let go of. While things things may have helped shape you into the person you are, they have usually affected you negativly as the term baggage implies. My wife definetly has more baggage then me and it does at times hurt our relationship as I have a hard time dealing with the fact she can't "get over" her past or "let things go". None of her so-called baggage has scared me away, but in more extreme cases I would agree that it is easier being with someone with carry-on baggage only. :)
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
24 Mar 07
This is a good discussion, my friend. I understand what you mean by baggage - or "emotional baggage" if you want to make it clearly.
I however beg to differ in that people won't want to get into a relationship with you if you come with baggage. If someone is seeking true love, and if he loves you, he is going to accept your baggage and make it his own.
@sumofalltears (3988)
• United States
24 Mar 07
I think you are right, everyone has baggage of some sort. But if you don't let it cloud your daily life and decisions and relationships, then I think it qualifies as not having baggage. For example if you were in a relationship and he turned out to be a cheater when you start another relationship you can't be accusing him of cheating all the time or even suspect he is cheating unless you have a substantially good reason of course. Just because something happens once it does not mean it is an everytime thing. If you can't let the bad things in life go and have an open mind you are just going to continue to bring bad things down upon yourself.
1 person likes this
@royal52gens (5488)
• United States
24 Mar 07
I am near fifty also. The way I figure it...If I don't have any baggage at this point in my life then I must not have experienced very much during the first half of my life. (I am planning on living until I am 100)
Now the good news is I have a lot of baggage. I have experienced so many things in my life so far. It is a good thing that baggage is on wheels with handles now. lol
@monkeywriter (2004)
• United States
25 Mar 07
Although kids are often used as baggage. I believe its when someone has something from the pasts they either cant or wont let go.
I know I have emotional baggage from how my parents raised me its messed me up to the point I am afraid of getting married sometimes or having kids. Thats emotional baggage for me.
I think everyone has baggage of some sort and its hard but in order to move on you gotta forgive and let go... even if like me its not too easy
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
25 Mar 07
I agree with your baggage theories :) I believe it also has something to do with children from previous relationships (coz they're your responsability & not that of your new partner) as well as if you have feelings for past pertners.
I guess someone with no baggage would be someone in a first relationship with nothing to worry about except what's to come!
