I am thinking of leaving my husband

I am sincerely sorry to hear about these problems. I remember my 2nd marriage where I moved away from my family and as soon as I did that, the yelling and screaming started. This is emotional abuse and you and your child should not be subject to it. It is not setting a good example for the young one in the house and there is no security when she knows you are fighting all of the time and he is threatening you. It seems that you have gone through hell and high water for this man and he just doesn't get it. Sometimes it takes walking away before a man sees what a treasure he has lost and then often it is way too late. YOu are a good woman and deserve so much better. Believe me, I know it is so hard to pack up and move back home, but hon, it is so worth the peace of mind. When I finally divorced after 10 years of hell, I felt such relief! It was over and I could move on and be healthy. My daughter is much happier and so am I! I am marrying next month to a wonderful man and I am finally happy and at peace. It is wonderful to be with someone that doesn't constantly badger you and crawl your butt every time something goes wrong or the other way around. Take care and best of luck to you!

i know how you feel and i. i used to live with someone like that and you know what i did after seven years of marriage and my three year old at the time telling me that he does not want daddy liveing with us because he hurts you to much mommy. so i know how you feel and i do not blame you if you leave him. it will be better for you and your daughter.

Sad story Im sorry to hear your going through all that but you are right in the sense that you and your daughter deserve better. Also I figured your husband would have told you he loved you lastnight instead of freaking out on you but to me it sounds like he really doesnt want to be with you anymore. It sounds like hes trying to drive you away or something. If you tryed your gods honest best to work it out and still has'nt been then I think its time to leave because you don't want to raise a child around all that anger. I really hope you make the right decision and I wish you and your daughter the best of luck. Again sorry to hear about this.

No you can not live like that. You are not junk, he is not to treat you like junk. God does not make junk. You have kids to raise up. Yu do not want them to be subject to his behavior. What you can do, is find family and friends that will stand with and by you. Than you can pray for him to be a better person. Only then will you get peace!

I am offering hugs....I hope this works out peacefully, no matter which path you take...

I completely agree with you, abusive behavior like this should NOT be tolerated. You and your daughter should not have to put up with that kind of mental abuse and certainly do not deserve it. I think you are totally right in wanting out. It might hurt for a while but in the long run I believe you will be happy in your decision to leave. Children should never have to be in the middle hearing these kinds of things either, so it will also be good for your daughter as well. I'm a guy, but I know if I got treated that way by a woman (if the role was reversed). I know I would not deal with that for too long.

You need to get out now and asap. You and your daughter do deserve better and you just need to make the move. Really I wouldn't blame you at all and he is the one that keeps bring up the word divorse so it's time to just give it to him.

You need to do what is best for you and your daughter. It sounds like you have been through a rough time, but have a good head on your shoulders.

You deserve better than that. My first husband and I were married 9 1/2 years, he was never there for me or our children, I tried to make it work, I tried to get him to realize that he should put his family (wife and children) before his friends, hunting ,fishing, his mother, etc...(I like his mother, it's just every time she told him to do anything, he did it, and that put an added strain on us) When he wouldn't put us first or even second, I said I've had enough. It takes a lot of courage to leave but if it's not right, it's better for you and your daughter to move on, and remember you have us here for support any time you need it, talk and we'll listen! Good luck, you'll be in my thoughts.

Maybe it is for the best. Have you looked at all the things that are going on with him and the changes could he maybe be seeing someone else? how long has it been since you moved to another state? there could be a number of thing that has caused the change. but if you have given it your all and he still has not changed then it is best to cut your ties and leave him. good luck and best wishes.

It does take real courage to get out of the situation you are in, but you have to weigh that against the advantages of living without all the stress you seem to be under. Perhaps you could suggest some counseling before you make the move or just ask him if you could talk to him --have an intelligent, non-threatening, conversation with no one yelling. A clearing of the air might help alot if he is able to tell you his real feelings. Good luck!

its always seems imposible to stay with your husband when you are having a fight with him .just chill for now but dont do anything rash for now atmost go away for some day may be your parents house our to your friend house it is a better option

Dear Dlkuku, I'd like to hear the other side of the story but I'm not implying that you're in the wrong. But it's just interesting to hear the other side before making an opinion. Because what you're saying about him is causing me to assume that he's cheating on you some way, some form. Your husband can't give you what you need. You have to get what you need from yourself and God. God is all that you need. Look deep into the wellsprings of the Bible. What is in it is comparable to what is happening in the world today. But if you still feel that you should leave him tell him that his butt looks better going than what it did when it came. I've experience some abuse like that with my first husband but I had no one to mentor me in the situation. But thank God for the wisdom that I recieve from Him,God, today.

thats understandable I guess

I think that you are at a breaking point esp. if he won't talk and only yells. My theory on marriage is if have earned your way out then you should take it. It sounds to me like you have really tried to work on things. So it is time to find a new path in life. Your daughter deserves better also. It must be affecting her horribly that you two are fighting all the time. I say you diffently need a time-out from each other to sort through what to do next. I wish you all the best!

Dear one. I'm so sorry to hear of your pain. Things must have been building up to get to this state. Both of you are lashing out at events in the past that haven't been rectified. This apparently is your second marriage. To go through another divorce will not help your daughter. Children need stability. They do not "bounce back", they often think it's their fault for their parents' breakup. If he acts like a jerk, hold your ground and don't let him get away with it. However, there may be something you did, or did not do, that triggered it. It does take 2 to tango and men are not very communicative to what hurts and pain and burdens they are carrying. If he threatens to leave, tell him to go, why should you disrupt your life? Treat him as if he were a child having a temper tantrum. He wants to "hold his breath", tell him to go ahead. Be strong and confident, don't run away. Men don't like to be cornered, they lash out. Tell him he can stay or go, you love him but you won't stand for threats. Either he makes up his mind to stay, or he leaves. It's up to him. With the Good Lord's help, he'll smarten up. Also you should just keep praying for him and don't nag. Nagging never works. Sometimes just being quiet can have a tremendous effect. Praying for you to be strong and hold your ground.

Maybe it was the way you brought it out or said it, that you didnt get reassurance, but defensiveness. Maybe if you tried to tell him how you feel when you arent arguing or stressed out, maybe then you'll get a more honest answer. But when one feels attacked they will get defensive. But if you are being emotional battered, I say, you should do what is best for you and your daughter.

Ouch this hits close to home for me. Moving is never easy and sometimes it can make us bitter. Being bitter over it takes time to settle down. People can change but they wont do it unless its really necessary or they want to do it for themselves. Everyone knows when they have reached their limit so only you can decide that, but marriage is for better or worse I am sorry you are at the worse point. Have you two been to a marriage counselor yet?

Hello, I saw your post and it reminded me of a situation I was in about 24 years ago. My sons dad was my first boyfriend and love of my life i stayed with him for 10 years from the age of 17 to 27 there was verbal abuse, neglect he just didn't give a _amn. But being a product of divorce I thought I owed it to my son to stay no matter what. Oneday I was just so tired and depressed and my mom had remarried and was living in the south I packed my bags got my sons stuff together and brought a oneway bus ticket to new orleans and I am so glad I did. I am happy now I have been married over 20 years, my son is a highscool teacher and I am married to a man who loves and respects me the way I DESERVE to be loved and respected.Was it easy starting over? Not at all but when you come to the conclusion I DESERVE BETTER LIFE life will open new doors. Good Luck honey and remember just like he use to love you someone else will too.

I realize that what you are going through is difficult, and that the man your husband is now is probably not the man you married, but marriage is a lifetime agreement. I know that is not what you wanted to hear. Do you believe in God? Have you accepted Christ as your Saviour? If not... it can help. God can make a change in your life that could change your husband as well. I'm sorry to preach at you, I'm sure this is not what you want right now, but do you really want to end your marriage? If nothing else think of your daughter. Would it be fair to her to have a broken home? I'll pray for you and your husband. God Bless