The Secret Language of Women

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-- Keywords and Their Meaning - - Fine This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument in which she feels she is right about but needs to shut you up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments. Five Minutes This is really half an hour. It is equivalent to the same "five minutes" that a football game is going to last before you take out the garbage. Nothing This really means, "You'd never understand." "Nothing" is usually accompanied by a woman's desire to turn you inside out, upside-down, and backwards. "Nothing" is often said prior to an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and will end with the word "Fine." Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows) This is not permission. This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine. Go Ahead (with normal eyebrows) This means, "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get the "Go Ahead" with raised eyebrows in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off. Loud Sigh This is not actually a word, but is still a verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and is wondering why she is wasting her time arguing over "Nothing." Soft Sigh Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. This means a woman is content and your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content. That's Okay This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay,” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with the raised Eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble. Please Do This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay." Thanks A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; simply say, "You're welcome." Thanks a lot This is much different than "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing.