Do you Punish Your Child, If They Tell You Your Butt's Getting Big?
By all4ucnc
@all4ucnc (861)
United States
March 25, 2007 11:54am CST
Okay, I was completely stunned. During a few sun breaks We went out and started picking up some of the winter mess, branches, and such. When we came in for lunch. my son who is 5 is standing next to me and says.
"Mom I noticed outside, that when you bend over that your butt is really big" (no laughing, I was crushed). So I told that I was older and sometimes that happens. So he says
"But it's really big," So then I explained to him that it wasn't nice to comment on those things and he should go play.
All was forgotten, then when my husband came in, my son went running up to him and says
"Dad did you notice that mom's butt is getting really big?" My husband starts laughing of coarse, then my son says.
"But dont say anything to her, she says thats not nice" then he walks off.
I wanted to choke him, or punish him or something, but I manage to just walk away and take a breath, my feeling were honestly hurt.
Have any of you experienced this, and how did you handle it?
10 people like this
43 responses
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
25 Mar 07
LOL My kids have done things like that to me over the yrs and I just laugh it off...fact is, IMO, the truth comes from the mouths of drunks and babes/babies so as much as I may not like it, I know when they would innocently come out with comments like that, there WAS truth to it ya know.....Yea it hurts but then again I'd think "well the truth hurts" cause sometimes it does and realistically, I'd MUCH RATHER, have my kids say it to me over some stranger ya know...
2 people like this
@ladymoonstone143 (1507)
• United States
25 Mar 07
I know children say the darnest things, but we just have to correct them. When they blurted out something, it still has no malice involved. I am expecting and my daughter wonder why I am big all over. She even thinks that the baby is located in one of my mammary glands...lol. I just explained to her that Mommy's body is getting ready for the new baby.
One thing I found funny is when she saw my photos when I was still single. I was skinny and she told me...look at you Mommy, this is you when you were still young and small. Young and small? That was like still 6 years ago...lol.
Just talk to your son and explained to him that sometimes, we just don't blurt out things coz he might repeat this to other people. Talking will really help him to understand the situation.
2 people like this
@smacksman (6053)
•
26 Mar 07
haha - he was being truthful so absolutly no need to punish him for that.
Now be honest, when you are bending over picking up something and a 5 year old is looking up your foreshortened legs your bum will look bigger than it really is. Try it with a camera shot!
Even Twiggy would look huge!!
It is lovely that your boy is bright enough to observe such optical phenomenom and you can go on to explain how and why it happens and go on to other optical things like refraction and perspective.
His door to knowledge is wide open, bless him.
@revdauphinee (5703)
• United States
25 Mar 07
could he by any chance be right??never punish a child for being truthfull !you can explain as you did thar people dont like such comments but punish him no way!
1 person likes this
@joluha (342)
•
26 Mar 07
Well how big is your bum? If the poor chap was stating the obvious you can't tell him off..has it got bigger lately?
I think you did the right thing explaining that this isn't nice to say to someone but you cannot punish him..this would be very harsh. Kids find bums and stuff amusing anyway so try not to feel hurt by any comments...worry more about when you are in a store and he comments loudly about someone that is very obviously different to him...one arm, one leg, cross eyed, big nose, spotty!! I have had this in this past and it is much worse because you just want to apologise or find a hole to crawl into and disappear..kids will be kids!
@stacy624 (2776)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
I had went through some what of the same sort well yours was a lot more nicer, anyhiow my daughter was 3 when she said this really nasty word that she heard her dad calling me on a everyday basis ....I started balling my eyes out, when she seen that she was so sad and told me she was sorry she didnt mean to make me cry. I think kids pick up on things they hear inside or outside the home. Just remind yourself of that and just explain your feelings to son for I dont think they mean those kind of comments. I wish you and your family the best
Stacy
1 person likes this
@GuillotineTears (5)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Perhaps try explaining to him, that in ADDITION to it not being nice to say mean things to people, it is also not nice to talk about someone in a mean way to someone else. It might be something he saw in a movie, or picked up from a friends parents and thought it was a "cool" thing to say... odd what some kids will pick up on...
@minnie_98214 (10557)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Id back my big butt up and crush them. My kids say this stuff as a joke but they would never say it to anyone else. You have to teach your kids how to treat others. But as a parent you have to relax kids will say things they dont mean. Try telling youre kids it mad you sad when they said this they may just not understand from their eyes a big butt may not be a problem. My kids think a big butt is fun more crushing power so it could be a complement.
@gypsylady28 (945)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I loved this story. My son noticed that my butt was big last year. I just told him that it wasn't nice to say that to anyone. He pointed out a few more "flaws" with my backside. After that, he hasn't mentioned it again.
1 person likes this
@cjthedog64 (1552)
• United States
25 Mar 07
Aw, he's just a kid. Don't punish him. Kids are brutally honest sometimes, but that's ok. Your DH should have pointed out that it's not nice to say things like that because they can hurt people's feelings. Sounds like your son kind of got the messsage though.
1 person likes this
@berna_tenorio (243)
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
ofcourse not, she's not deserved to be punished for that kind of words.
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Kids have a brutal honesty and sometimes it hurts the ones closest to them. We teach our kids to be honest and that is what your child did. Believe me all moms have heard similar things like that. It does seem he has a preoccupation with weight though. I would definitely have a more in depth conversation with him. My daughter and me were jumping on the trampoline and she told me that my belly shook like jello when I jumped. I told her that it hurt my feelings but it was true, we had the discussion that we need to be careful what we say to others because it hurts their feelings even if what you are saying is true. I turned it around on her and said what if someone said this to you? Wouldn't it hurt your feelings? They have to identify with the situation or it won't make sense to them. It still doesn't help the hurt feelings though! LOL
1 person likes this
@dragonokiefly (862)
• United States
25 Mar 07
Kids are brutally honest most of the time. I think you did the correct thing by telling him it wasn't nice. I would have added that it hurt mommy's feelings also. I think your husband is the one that needs to be punished for just laughing. He should have reinforced that is was not nice a nice thing to point out even though it might be true.
My daughter asked me a year ago if I was having another baby, when I told her no she wanted to know why my tummy was so big then. I was crushed. So from that point on I exercised in front of her and started eating better foods. So far I have lost a little over 50 pounds and she made a comment about my tummy getting smaller.
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
26 Mar 07
When you have kids you have to get over being sensitive and laugh at the things they say. When a person bends over the butt does look biger than it does when standing up streight. If you are a size 6 then you should be laughing at your child. you want to punish him for a silly remark? Where is your sence of humor?
@NatureBoy (493)
• Singapore
26 Mar 07
Comon, its a honest and innocent remark from a 5 year old. Ooops. Laugh it off. But seriuosly, it seems that they are really getting old enough to notice much of the surroundings. Just tell him, that is the result of giving birth to him. :) Cheers
@countrylady28 (153)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Children are so honest, but remember, to him your butt is big because he is so small, and his little tush probably is too. You have 2 issues here -1. the "honesty" (children don't know how else to be) and 2. His sense of what "big" is is definitely not what we as adults would consider big. And another side note, I can't think of many people who's butt wouldn't look big if they were bending over in the yard - it's an unflattering view for just about anyone.
I wouldn't make too big of a deal out of it or he'll mention it to the neighbors, his teachers, your in-laws... I think you get my point.
@Tammy07 (2)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I have 2 teenagers and trust me the older they get the more things they say without thinking.. I wouldn't punish him..He will get the idea that what he says is wrong and he is bad..Kids hear stuff all day long esp. when get in school we can't control..Just explain to him that he should not say stuff that if said to him would hurt his feelings. Maybe tell him what he can say instead.. or tell him the golden rule we all learned when young "If can't say anything nice don't say anything"
@beautifulsnow (2)
• China
26 Mar 07
If I were you,I woouln't punish him.Perhaps he was right.I may check myself first,and then tell him that it's not good manners to talk about others' body parts.And it is very bad to laugh at others.
