The Ten Kitty Commandments
By tammyr
@tammyr (5946)
Etowah, Tennessee
March 25, 2007 12:06pm CST
Hey I thought this would be something you might like. I got it from another website and found it so cute! I am going to see if my cat will listen to them if I read them to him. He does several of them.
Here is a link to the page in case yo would like to send it to a friend or receive tips from them.
http://www.care2.com/channels/solutions/pets/1197?z00m=9404997
The Ten Kitty Commandments
More Everyday Pet Care Solutions
From 50 Simple Ways to Pamper Your Cat, by Arden Moore (Storey Books, 2000).
Anyone who has ever known and loved a cat (and even those who haven’t!) will get a laugh out of this great list!And the Cat said. . .
1. Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the computer.
2. Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
3. Thou shalt not project hairballs from the top of the refrigerator.
4. Thou shalt not sit in front of the television as if thou art invisible.
5. Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human’s bladder at 3 A.M.
6. Thou shalt not reset thy human’s alarm clock by walking on it.
7. Thou shalt not trip thy humans, even if they are walking too slowly.
8. Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
9. Thou shalt not jump on the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
10. Thou shalt attempt to show remorse when being scolded.
13 people like this
24 responses
@taramoon (740)
• Spain
25 Mar 07
Yep i can safely say that my cats have managed to complete all 10 commandments....and my new baby kitten is learning very quick he has just gone bounding into the toilet so am busy trying to dry him not easy as he's a long hair persian going to take me all night to fluff him back up, thank goodness the kids flush the chain before he jumped..
thanks for sharing post
3 people like this
@white_tiger (55)
• Australia
27 Mar 07
ha! that is so very true!
my kittens have broken 8 of the rules! :P
2 people like this
@jumpinjack00 (3054)
• United States
26 Mar 07
That's some funny stuff. Multiply that by 5 cats
and you have our home! #3 doesn't really apply
as far as the fridge is concerned but there's
plenty of other places those lovely hairballs
are projected from.
‹(°o°
2 people like this
@cwilson26 (2735)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I love cats and this is so cute. All of my cats are outside though so I don't have any of these problems, lol. My cats do try to trip me while I'm walking around outside. Especially when they know I'm getting ready to feed them. I guess they think if they walk in front of me then I will get to their food bowls faster, lol. My dog barks at me when I'm about to feed her. She will not shut up until I finish putting her food in her bowl, it's funny cause it's like she's telling me to hurry up, lol. Thanks for sharing this. :)
2 people like this
@xfallenxlostx (2074)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Teehee! THose are REALLY cute! Our cats do a lot of those things...i think i should read the list to them and maybe they will straighten up. Too bad there isn't one on there about not jumping into thy human lap whilst they are peeing.
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Thank you for a wonderful chuckle! My cat is guilty of at least six of these. The worst being the keyboard and after that, the toilet seat. Her worst sin is destroying toilet paper and paper towels. Not unrolling them, but shredding them beyond salvaging. I have to find ways to keep her from getting into the cabinets since she will hunt down the paper products. Forget remorse, it isn't in her vocabulary.
Once again, thank you!
1 person likes this
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Hd to add this note: My cat has actually sent an email out using my keyboard. Thank goodness it was to my dear friend and when she received it she called to find out what was going on. I knew right away that it was Bean up to her usual shenanigans because of the time that was recorded. Had it been anyone other than my friend, I would have had a hard time explaining it.
1 person likes this
@loujac3 (1188)
• United States
28 Apr 07
Thank you for the best response vote! I am still dealing with Bean about her behavior and the jumping on my bladder every morning. She really is a little heathen! I am so thankful I had that surgery years ago or a would have to change my bed linens every morning.
1 person likes this
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
29 Apr 07
I gave you best response because I have never heard of an e-mailing cat!! It was hard to chose with so many good answers, but the thought of e-mail from a cat was just to funny! I have yet to figure out how they shred half a roll of TP and it is ALL still on the roll!? I can pick it up and half the dang thing will unroll if I drop it. They can bat at it for hours and the thing stays intact!LOL
@Eskimo (2315)
•
30 Apr 07
Why not just trade your cat in for a dog, they don't need commandments, totally obedient(most of the time), and will always dedicate their life to you (unlike a cat which requires you to dedicate your life to them). Dogs are fun, cats require fun. A dog will bring things to you if trained to do so, your cat trains you to bring things to it. A dog will go for long walks with you - helping you to get exercise - a cat will look at you as if you were stupid if you suggested taking it for a walk. Still if you must have a cat then you will need to close all your doors, especially the bathroom.
1 person likes this
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
30 Apr 07
I do have a dog. Her name is IZZY. She is the sweetest, kindest creature one could ever meet! She only needs to follow 2 commandments, then she would be perfect:
1 Thou shalt not lick thy master every moment of the day.
2 Thou shalt not treat the kitty box as thy own personal buffet.
The first one would not be as bad if it was not for the second one.LOL
I will try to show a photo of her, but do try to contain yourself.Okay, she is a looker!
1 person likes this
@1983tyler (507)
• United States
25 Mar 07
Thanks for sharing these ten commandments. I don't think it would help me to read these to my cats. They think that they can do whatever they want. They think my rules can be broken anytime they want, especially if I am not in the room.
2 people like this
@draconess (650)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
Not only does my parents cat love to walk across the keyboard while you're trying to type, he somehow hits some magical combination of buttons that changes the language setting! I started typing and half the letters came out as weird symbols, it took an hour to figure out how to get it back to normal! He's also a big fan of doing numbers 5 and 7...
@susieq223 (3742)
• United States
26 Mar 07
My cats love to do just about all of those, plus a few... How about: 11. Thou shalt not bring in a live mouse to play with, then turn it loose in the house
12. Thou shalt not chew on the pencil eraser while the human is using it.
13. Thou shalt wipe the sand off the paws before walking on the human's bed.
By the way, I like your new avatar!
1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
25 Mar 07
11.thou definetly shall not drag my human's underwear through the living room when other humans are present LOL
my cats definetly need to read #10.
they sulk,actually :)
2 people like this
@txwoman36 (173)
• United States
31 Mar 07
that is so cute. let us know if your cat listens to you and goes by the commandments.
2 people like this
@TAURUSGIRL (735)
•
26 Mar 07
hahaha so thats where my cat went to i wondered where he was please feed and water him and send him home, yes they are such cute little things mine does all the above especially jumping on to you at 3am there are many more can be added too like must not jump into the refridgerator everytime the door is opened, or drink the water from the toilet bowl have fun tc nice post xx
1 person likes this
@cjsmom (1423)
• United States
31 Mar 07
This is so neat. Thank you for posting it. Our cat is so funny. He wants to sit on my lap when I'm on computer just to be close to me and I must admit that I haven't let him in quite some time. He doesn't bother my keyboard or anything; just wants to be near me. Now he won't venture a try because I keep 'shooing' him away. Poor little guy.
1 person likes this
@princeworthy (1909)
• United States
26 Mar 07
Can I add a few to this list?
Thou shalt not sleep in thy humans clean laundry.
Thou shalt not eat thy humans defrosting dinner.
Thou shalt not stick thy cold nose in thy humans face at 2am.
Thou shalt share thy humans bed with thy human.
LOL I loved this!
@terilee79720 (3621)
• United States
29 Apr 07
I love it tammyr. With four kitties in our house and a dog, each commandment made me think of one of our cats. They are hilarious at times, especially the hairball part.
One of our cats sounds just like he's saying "Darn, Darn, Darn right before he up chucks a hairball.
How funny.
