Older people can be so mean

Wisdom does not always come with age!!! Likely they suffer from lack of tact and sensitivity. Often relatives feel they have the right to comment on family members and put their reasons under the guise of 'family concern'. Why does diplomacy go out the window when it comes to family? I have found weight to be the worse reason to feel bad about myself. I was never overweight, always a size 10, great butt, could eat whatever I liked. But it changed when I hit my forties, I turned into my mother and I'm now fighting like the blazes to fit into those old jeans! I've come to understand it takes allot of strength to deal with weight issues, not only with weight but what you think other's might think about you being overweight. Don't be afraid to tell people that their comments are not welcome, even if they are elderly.

Most elderly feels that they have more right to correct or give comments about something. I get that all the time, and its true that they hurt my feelings. I always get the comment that i am fat but what they didnt know, it that they are not helping. What i did is i told them that they were pulling down my self esteem and that i feel bad about myself already. And they did apologized about it, because they also didnt know that what they said was harmful. In life i always been careful of my words, because a lot of times when it is just OK with us to say it, we didnt know that to others its hurtful.

maybe that's not purely because they are old but rather they are your family. as to me i got to know how old peole can be mean. but they werent relatives or friends of mine. they pushed in the queue line, they take all the width of pavement and you have to walk by on the grass, when they sit in bus next to you they acctually sit ON you, they look at you as if they wanted to kill you with their eyes. i think in your case that's a personal dislike for you rather than mean of every old person. i think if they were younger they would behave in the same way.

I don't know why older people feel like they can say anything to you and you're not supposed to say anything back. I've had that happen to me too. A great-aunt who I hadn't seen in over 20 yrs and all she could think to say to me was something incredibly rude about my weight I've noticed that my mother as she's gotten older has started saying things that I would never have expected to come out of her mouth. Not necessarily rude just more blunt than she usually is. I've given her some funny looks when I've heard her talk like that and she just looks back and tells me she's too old care what she says. Okey dokey mom! LOL. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that most of us spend our lives never really saying what we're thinking. Tiptoeing around people trying not to offend or be rude and I guess you just hit a point when you just finally have to say what's on your mind. That's the only thing I can think of. I would have been awfully tempted to say something like "Well I'm glad to see that we've both grown something bigger as we've gotten older, your mouth and my butt".

I think the elderly are like that because they feel that they have a lot of wisdom and they think they know more than you do. They sometimes think that they are always right. So, sometimes they can be quite arrogant.

In my opinion, old people have had their share of life and it is time they retire and stay at home, therefore they demand our respect, but some can really be a pain in the neck sometimes since they push it too far... But hey, this is life...

Hi! I'm so sorry that happened to you! People just don't think that there may be a legitimate reason for the weight gain. Unfortunately, older people just seem to have a "finite" set of reasons why things happen and anything beyond that is beyond their comprehension. My grandma did the same thing to my sister, who has been chronicly ill for about the past 9 years. She was on prednisone for quite a while, which you probably know is used to treat inflammation and causes serious weight gain if the doctor doesn't help you manage your weight while you're on it. My grandma told me that she wished my sister hadn't gotten so fat. I told her that the weight was likely fluid retention and the result of being on prednisone, trying nicely to tell her that it isn't nice to assume why someone else has gained weight. I completely understand what you mean about older people. Sometimes it's really hard to see how some of them should deserve any respect! :-) And for you, take care of yourself and do what's best for you. You are still the same person you were before, right? There's no reason why you shouldn't love yourself just as much as before. I'm sure that everyone who knows you loves you just as much. :-)

There's an old saying "The older the people, the wiser they are". When I was younger I believed that but now I don't believe it anymore. I still show respect towards the elderly and I have nothing against them too. Sometimes they are wrong as well, they claiming what they have said is always correct. If I disagree then sometimes the elderly will start talking much and telling the stories bla bla bla. Well I just sit and listen and say yes yes yes. They would waste my time if I start arguing about them.

Regardless of age, no one has the right to be verbally abusive or unkind to another. I'm sorry you experienced that.

Some times these oldies just judge you on anything without for a second caring why you are, how you are and how their judgment will affect you. I do feel that elderly should be respected but I seriously Don't feel that this gives them the right to say whatever pleases them just because they are old. Sometimes they turn out too nosy and so we just should know about ourselves and keep working to where we want to go or else if we keep on listening to others comments then we will surely go down. Take Care May GOD Bless YOU

I know how you feel about some older people. I have a lady that is about 70 something that I deliver the paper to and she will call the office sometime and tell them that she didnt get her paper and I know that she did but I will go back toher house and get it for her she just does that because she dont want to step down 2 stairs and pick it up and we put it on her back porch. but it is mean that they say that about you. some people just dont know why some gain a bit of weight and they look at big people as if they eat everything in the world

Ok, I am certainly not saying what these "elderly" people said is right but I must defend the "elderly". I know a lot of elderly people, a good share of my best friends are elderly and none of them would ever say something like this to anyone. So, saying "older people can be so mean" is like saying "all young people are mean". I also know a lot of young people that would, have, will say the same thing but I also know ones that would not. I say - PEOPLE can be mean, rude, thoughtless, but some people can be kind, considerate, nice.

I've known the sweetest elderly people suddenly turn nasty. It's usually due to health problems/and or medications. But I so know how you feel. When I was 19, I had given birth to my second child, a mere 17 months after my first was born. My new baby was three weeks old and we went to a family reunion. One of my great aunts felt that she needed to approach me and tell me that I had gained a lot of weight. I was really hurt, and offended. I wanted to yell at her that I just had a baby, what did she expect, but I bit my tongue and walked away instead.

like the saying says for some families the older people have been around a lot longer and they know the right from wrong or so they think. they also do not understand what they say really hurts the other person.

I have given you a ++ rating for your post, as I want to see you keep your stars up. I must say that I am sorry to hear this, but, it isn't because "old people" are mean. If they are mean, then they always were insensitive, as young and middle aged. It isn't becuase they are old. I'm old, and I would never say anything hurtful like that, or anything else to someone to hurt or be rude to them. Wishing you a happy day, and don't forget to rate "best resonse" to someone that answered with concern and thought. Bless you,M&M

I here you and I think that every family is like that. And the older ones are the worst whatever they are thinking it comes right out of their mouth. Ive learned not to take things to heart as much any more. I dont think they mean to be nasty thats just the way they are.

I am really sorry someone was so rude and insensitive with their remarks to you. However it has nothing to do with age. It depends on how someone was raised. I am one of the older people and I would never dream of making such a personal remark, I have more class than that. I have also put up with very rude and mean remarks from the younger generation.

Growing up as a young person in a very "old" family (my dad was the youngest by 14 years, and my parents didn't have me till their 40s), AND having had a 90-ish relative living in the house for several years, I understand what you're talking about. My observation is that (and I'm not saying this is a "right" thing) many elderly people seem to lose their "social filters" as they age. And it doesn't just seem to be limited to "crabby" people... it's just as folks age, there's no longer as much "filtering" between "what I THINK" and "what I SAY." I believe we all THINK the same... inside... but at some point the "inner censor" that keeps us from SAYING "Holy cats, why have you gotten so fat?" just disappears. I have seen this in my mother (who's 85) in the past 4-5 years... she didn't just "become" a bit of a racist... it's just that she started blurting out thoughts she'd probably HAD for all of her life. I am not sure WHY. In some cases it's senile dementia, Alzheimers and the like... but that doesn't always explain it. I realize that probably doesn't HELP you, exactly... but sometimes understanding how a person's mind works as it ages makes us able to take the "blows" more lightly, when they come.

WOW i am sorry for your condition, You know it really bothers to hear such a aweful thing that is the most rude thing anyone can say to anyone. Try not to let this person(s) bring you down, for you know the reason to your condition and understand it was not in your control. We all experience something in our lives weather its weight, dieases, ect. Put your head up kiddo and dont let people like that bring you down its so not worth it to yourself (health and Mind wise) or your family Best wishes Stacy

I have a different opinino about the way you are handling the things. You are taking the things more seriously. Noone is perfect everybody has got one or the other habit/feature which can be pointed out to make fun or at least teach them a lesson. For example you could have easily told your gradma's sister in the response to her comment. "thats true i became fat but i am enjoying this new looks and whenever i will decide i will lose my weight". But i think you are also looking too old and the wrinkle's in your skin are further making you ugly". And i am sure after this she will never dare to make a comment like that to anyone. Similarly you could have picked some feature of your family friend to comment. The key to the problem in not getting annoyed and frustrated but take it lightly and each them a lesson so that they won't dare to make that sort or comment to anyone else in the future.