I told my friend I loved her, what now?

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So there's this girl, she's a memeber here too & on my friends list so i know she'll see this but here is what happened: We went out a few years ago. I am almost 3 years older then her. So at the time she was 15 & I was 18. (Dont worry, she's 20 now:) But it didnt work out because I was too jealous of her. She is really hot & has alot of guy friends. (Most of them are secretly in love with her, but i didnt know that while we was dateing) Anyway, I was way to jealous of her. I mean I trusted her and all that but I could tell by the way that the guys looked at her that they wanted to be more then just friends but she didnt think that they did. Anyways we went out but she broke up with me. I asked her if we could be friends again at least & she said yeah. She completely broke my heart. I loved her so much, she was everything that Id ever dreamed of. For about a year, I didnt do anything. I didnt go out with friends or anything like that. I just sat around & thought about her. Then 1 day i seen her at the store. She told me i looked awfull & i made up an excuse that my girlfriend had broken up with me & that i didnt have any friends now so i had nothing to do & just sat home all the time. thats why i looked bad, i was depressed & didnt have anything to do so no point in tryin to look good. (Most of it was true, excepted that i hadnt dated anyone sence her & hadnt had friends since her cause i just wanted to be home alone to think of her) So she invited me to come to a party w/her & some of her friends (guys of course.) I aggreed and was so happy that she was talkin to me again. i thought maybe this could be our chance to get back together. but then she said that she wanted to be sure that I knew she only wanted to b friends with me. Of course i told her that that that was fine with me. But really it wasnt. i thought maybe if i hung out with her & the guy friends i would find out that they really was just friends & she'd give me another chance. That was around 2 years ago. I found out that i was right all along. All these guys are completely in love with her as much as i am. except she dont know it. they all say to here that just bein friends is great. They pretend that they like each other cause most of them hang out together with her. I mean we are talkin about 20-30 guys. so when shes around they are all buddies but when she isnt there, they hate each other cause they are "competition" & all want this one girl. a few nights ago she asked me to baby sit so that she could go on a date. (She is raising her 2 year old niece.) she dont date much, maybe a few times a year cause she says that its to complicated & she cant find a guy that she really likes. Of course id do n e thing for this gal so i said yeah. but the whole time i was watchin her niece, i was gettin depressed cause i knew she was out datein this other guy. So when she got home i tried to play it cool & asked how the date went. she said it was horrable, the guy was a boreing & she didnt like him. I was so excited that she didnt like him. The next day, i talked her mom into keep her niece all day & night but told her not to tell her that i asked her to do it. I knew what she would do, the kid was gone so she would take a cool bath for a few hours. I waited a little while so i could be sure she was in the bath. Then i went into her house (she never ever locks her doors. she lives in a small town were everyone knows each other) So whiles she was bathing, i straightened her house up, which wasnt bad cause she keeps it clean. she had the radio on & im sure she was a sleep everytime she gets in the bath tub she falls asleep in it. i fixed this great dinner of steak, steamed veggies & wine. I had the food on the table & the candles lit, a horror movie in (i know it dont go with the romantic stuff but thats what kind of shows she likes) she got out of the bath & came in w/her bath roob on. she looked like an angel standin there with her ringing wet blond hair, perfect body & a great tan. She asked what the occassion was & i told her i just wanted to tell her thanks for bein my friend & help her forget about the horrable date the day befor. After we ate, we sat on the couch to watch T.V. I decided that it was the perfect time to tell her how i felt about her. but as i was finishin up this real romantic speech bout her great she was, another friend (male of course) comes bustin in the door. He was really drunk. he asked with slured speech what was goin on. she told him that now wasnt a good time but she didnt want him to drive while he was drunk so she said for him to go lay down in the extra bed room. He said "come nurse me to sleep then sexy" she told him he had to much to drink & to go to bed and be quite. i asked somethin about how she could think that he just wanted to be friends when he says things like that to her all the time. She replied that he was only jokin. He stumblled over to me, got in my face & slurred "what you fa*? she is my friend. that aint your business." i made a comment about his breath & told him she should be treated like a lady. he said 'what, do all this gay sh*t like you? i aint no fu*ki&% pansy like u. im a man that..." at this point she crabbs his arm & leads him into the other room and says for him to sleep it off. i was really mad by then. she said to ignore him, he was just drunk. i told her that they all hit on her when they drunk cause they all want more then friendship. she said that was rediculos. I had told her that i think we should start datein each other again but she said "why? youre still jealous of my friends" i just lost it. I told her how they all think she is hot & all say theyre in love w/her, none of them wants to be just friends. she says that im makein it up so she will be mad at them. we started screamin at each other. next thing i know i asked her if she was really that dumb that she couldnt see how they all really felt or if she was just that big of a s1ut. then i said so more mean things. next thing i know, she's pushin me out her door tellin me to leave. then her other guys showed up & asked if they should "take care of me for her" she told em to leave me alone & that she didnt want company at the moment. There is this one friend, charlie, i think he likes her too but he never really said that he did. (how could he not love her? she is PERFECT in everyway?) this guy is like her best bud, they are always together. So all her other friends are gettin back in there trucks to leave. I had pulled into a abandoned house beside her house cause i was cryin to much to c how 2 drive. nobody noticed me sittin there cause my lights was off. I sit there for about 30 min. tryin to figure out if i should go home and talk to her tommorow or go back tonight & what to say to the girl that i'd loved for yearS. I noticed a mustang pull back into her drive way. I rowed my window down to c & hear better. Out comes charlie w/a bottle of wine. he knocked on her door till she answered it (instead of just goin in as usalle) I heard him say "Hey baby girl, you calmed down yet?" then he laughed and said "I got us somethin to drink & a great move to watch. but its such a great night, lets go out to the lake to have a picnick" she agreed. Now, as she started to go back in to put clothin on, for some reason he grabbed her arm, spun her around & hugged her. The whole time he was lookin right at me. he started runnin his fingers thorough her hair then started flickin his tongue like he was lickin her but wasnt really touchin her. he pulled her hair over & sniffed it. she asked if he was ok, he said that he had a bad day & just wanted hug her & that her hair smelled like honey. she said something then went into the house. he went ovet to his car, then came over to me. he started tellin me that if i came around her again, hed make me sorry. that he cared about her and wouldnt c her be treated like id just done. i told him that i loved her & was sorry for loosin my cool on her but he said to stay away or id wish i had. then he ran back over to the car & jumped in just as she came out of the house. she had makeup on, a tank top with no sleeves & it was a belly shirt along with a pair of tight low cut comofluge jeans & sandles. she had her blond hair up in a pony tail. she looked perfect. ok, enough. my problem is this: she dont believe me about her guy friends likein her & she is still mad at me. this happened a few days ago but she wont take my phone calls, emails or anything. she wont answer her door when i go to her house, though i know she is home. what can i do? i would rather be dead then not be able to be around her again. even if we was only friends but i cant live without her. i love her so much, i never knew i could love anyone like i do her. what should i do? i really do love her & if i cant be with her i really really want to die right now. live aint worth livin with out her. please help me figure out what i should do now???? (sorry its long and mushy)