how to deal with this?

I must say, I am so sorry for your loss. Even though those words will never take away your pain, and I'm sure you've heard them before, there really are no words that will make the situation any easier. It is extremely hard to go through. And at times it seems like it hurts so much you will never pull through. I can also understand the conflict in your marriage. But please try and remain by each others side. I won't lie. The first year is probably the hardest to go through. And I don't want to say time will heal. You won't neccessarily heal. There will always be a place in your heart for rememberance of your son. But you will eventually learn how to live life day by day. I too have gone through a situation of losing a child so I know how hard it is to go through. August 12, 2006, me my husband, a married couple that we are friends with, and my children were out at a strip pit fishing. At the time my children were aged - 2 and 1/2 month old son, my 2 year old daughter, my 3 year old daughter, and my 4 year old daughter. The day was very hot and so we all sat down on a boat ramp to cool off. We enjoyed the day, playing and having fun. The water was not even up to our waists where we were sitting since we were sitting on the top of the ramp. My son was in my lap at the whole time. I decided it was time to go home and so I stood up and told the kids it was time to go. I had to stand up very slowly because the ramp was covered in moss which made it slippery. It took me not even 30 seconds to get my balance. In that 30 seconds my 3 year old daughter disappeared. I looked up towards the car to see if she had run up there and did not see her. It was not like her to ever run off. I figured there was no way she could have gone far in 30 seconds. My 4 year old then turned around and said, "Mama, I think Chloe's drowning." I looked at the water and so no signs of her what-so-ever. Had I looked down instead of up when I first stood up I might have seen her. Unfortunately that day is forever burned into my memory. And granted, I do have my other children to pull me through this situation, but that doesn't make my loss any easier. So I do understand what you are going through. Talking to others such as you have started now is one way of helping get through it. Knowing that there are others out there that also know how you are feeling and hearing how they have dealt with their losses such as you asked, helps. Couseling for you and your wife. Letting each other know how you feel. Being able to cry. Finding support from every angle you can. If you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to talk to me. You can add me if you want. I will always be willing to listen. From one parent to another who understands what you are going through. Once again, I'm so sorry for you. Known that you will see your little boy someday when Heaven is ready for you. If you believe such things. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. God bless.

Hi I'm so sorry for your loss. My friends lost their baby at 5 months & they found that the only way that they were able to move on was to join a support group. She also had to go on anti-depressants for a little while combined with therapy. I hope that suggestion helps you.