The Purrfect Dilemma
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
March 28, 2007 3:47am CST
As some of my friends know I live with my housemate and it's not easy at times. Now as much as I love cats, we have a two bed semi and he has now got 4 cats. He only got the fourth cat because he made it awkward for me having brought home the cat I could hardly turn the kitten away now could I?
I've said NO MORE! but all he does he keep on at me to get a fifth, every day he talks nothing but cats, cats, cats it's wearing me down and I think he knows that.
Now he's started working in a cattery and there is "surprise surprise" a cat that desperately needs a home or it'll be will given to the farm to run wild. He is manipulating me I know, he's cleaned the shed out on Sunday or asked me to help him, he's got toys and activity centres all over the home for me, which only one or two of the cats seldom use
Now he's got me visiting the cattery with him today to see this abandoned cat who's he's already named Chestnut, if that is not emotional I don't know what is.
Question is I am facing a dilemma, should I stick my heels in over this one, causing him to go off on one (and he will) and will make a big song and dance about me saying NO.
Or do I take the cat in to keep the peace, and to give the cat a loving home? I would be taking it out on the cat if I said NO just to get back at him because we've had a couple of major arguments these last couple of weeks. So am I doing it out of spite and taking my spite out on an innocent cat?
Help and advice wanted!
Thanks
6 people like this
14 responses
@liranlgo (5752)
• Israel
28 Mar 07
well i do understant your dillema here dear wolfie
i have been living a long time with a mate and know all about those little arguments and disagreeing which can turn your day into a living hell
at times i could not stand it anymore just like you are describing now and i said yes just to get the other person of my back.
but i soon realized that this is a mistake because those things never end..now it is another cat tommorow it will be somthing else and so on.
i think that you have to drew the line here. and tell him. no.
that it does not suit you. and you do not want another animal at your house because of your reasons.
this could go on and on and there are alote of poor animals that are at the streets but you do have to think about yourself also.
this is the time to drew the line and say NO.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
28 Mar 07
I have, deep down inside made my mind up, it's having to deal with the 7 year old kid response afterwards that I am not relishing, it is blatant manipulation and using a cat to do it is below the belt but I'm going to play his game and this time he's NOT going to win.
1 person likes this
@patootie (3592)
•
28 Mar 07
Darling wolfie ... I hate having to say this .. but as an outsider I think the only way to sort out these probs is to move ! Ohh dear, I know it's not what you want to hear .. but other than your flatmate and work probs .. you seem to have a lovely life .. you enjoy your gym, your weekends at home .. and the only things I have ever heard you having a 'bit of a moan' about is work (or lack of it) .. and your flatmate .. so I'm sorry to say it .. but I think you'd be so much happier living somewhere else ..
And NO .. don't take the cat in .. someone else will want the cat .. and if you give in again now .. who knows how many more will arrive unasked .. I love cats passionately .. but enough is enough ...
I would also suggest you don't even go to the cattery .. better a 'stormy' few days than being manipulated like this ..
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
31 Mar 07
They are his! I found out that we have a periodic tenancy so If I give notice he has to get out too, and naturally he said if I move out he'll be forced to put the cats into a cattery! LOL! I didn't back down this time and I put my foot down much to his chagrin.
@ukchriss (2097)
•
31 Mar 07
How many cats are you allowed to have in your home?
On my tenancy agreement we are only allowed 2 animals.
But I agree with Toots its time you moved out,
There must be jobs else where in the country where you could be happy — so start looking for one NOW!
by the way, when you do move who will have all the cats?
@shooie (4984)
• United States
28 Mar 07
What you need to do is check with your Town/City and see how many allowed you are allowed to have in the home. I know I was watching a program not to long ago that this lady had a tone of cats. Well she had to get rid of all of them but 4. We have one cat and for me that is plenty. I like cats but I just don't want to deal with more than one. My husband would have a house full but nope. When you say he will go off on one are you saying he'll go off on one of the cats? If thats the case he shouldn't have any. But I guess you could go and look at the cat and go from there. If you get this one you could draw up a contract saying no more cats and you sign it and have him sign it and then put it up so if he wants to get another cat you can pull it out and say sorry no. But like I say check with you town/city rules see how many they allow. huggles and good luck.
1 person likes this
@rosie_123 (6113)
•
28 Mar 07
Well you know me wolfie- I would have no problem taking on the cat, and if you love animals and can give it a good home, I would always take one in. I have 5 now - it was 6 before my Caspar was run over last year, and they al get on perfectly well. I must admit once I had 3, y partner said "no ore - we have no room etc", but when it comes to animals can't say "no" - I work voluntarily at weekends in a cat protection home too,and as soon as I bought them home, or took them i, he fell in love with them as much as I did! So I would say, take the poor unwanted animal and give it lots of love. You will be rewarded.
@Naomi17 (624)
•
28 Mar 07
My eldest daughter who has her own rented house had 3 cats now she has 6 they were dumped on my doorstep before Christmas. I adore kittens but at that time i had baby lovebirds my handicapped sons birds and these kittens were ill so ill the vet didn't think they would survive they had advanced cat flu my daughter took them in it was supposed to be temporary i was paying the vet bills and food costs at the time. Well its not temporary she doesn't trust anyone else to care for them they are beautiful half bengal and half siamese with beautiful markings.
I put it to her that 3 was enough cats she disagreed i explained the costs but she doesn't care i love the cats they are adorable but it is a huge responsibility.
With your friend i feel it won't be the end take on a cat this week what about the next time and the next the cat that needs a loving home!
Its your home to so only you can decide i admit i find it hard to say no as i'm a huge cat lover! Its a form of blackmail getting you to go because he's counting on the animal factor you see it you can't resist.
let me know how it goes i have my own thoughts on what will happen!
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
28 Mar 07
So Wolfie. does the house belong to you or your mate. or is it a place you both pay rent at?? I would just tell him. I don't want another cat here. Plain and simple. if your mate (he or she) doesn't like it. The too bad for them. You have a right to live the way you want as much as they do.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
28 Mar 07
Oh dear Wolfie you certainly have a Problem there, now me I would take it I have to be honest but that is me lol
I am softy for Animals that need a Home. So if I was you I would say yes but that is just me
I hope you can come to a Decission there I really do
@kbkbooks (7022)
• Canada
30 Mar 07
I asked this same question but not quite so nicely. I keep getting told to take my pets to the shelter so they can find a loving home and that I am an animal hater. Well, I am a dog person and hubby is a cat person. We have ONE dog who is clean and loving. We have FOUR cats and if I don't put my foot down somewhere between them I figure I will end up with more. I've been called cruel and heartless by people here on myLot but I don't have to live in the same house with them. I do have to live with hubby, and unfortunately with 4 cats. I would settle for two. I just wanted you to know I feel for you wolfie.
@ItTakesAllSorts (4096)
•
29 Mar 07
When you share a home with someone it has to be 50/50 but it seems your housemate is not respecting your side of this arrangement.
It comes down to respect. If he knows this cat is homeless then he should have discussed it with you before deciding he would get round you through emotional blackmail. You may decide to take this cat in, but what happens when another cat comes on the scene, he will do the same thing again.
It sounds like you have given up your home to all the other cats already, so he needs to respect your decision and not force you into anything. This not being very fair and he is not taking your feelings into consideration.
I am a cat lover and had 3, now 2 and I live in a small flat. I am aware that there are so many cats who need homes but I have to be realistic and I think your housemate needs to be too.
I wish you luck, stand firm on your decision as it sounds he wants it all his own way!
@Bee1955 (3882)
• United States
29 Mar 07
Your roomate has a big heart and too little commn sense - bless him! We have 4 cats and now we have Bentley ( http://www.catster.com/cats/505219 ) whose owner had to go to Iraq for 2 years and I had to say YES to help her find a new home for him.
Take the cat and make sure your roomate understands that it is only until you both find him a new home.
He's a kind soul, but until he moves where he can have his own cattery, you'll have to put up with his "querks" and be more assertive as to the number of pets.
Happy Meows!=^._.^=
@xfallenxlostx (2074)
• United States
29 Mar 07
Brian, darling...do you like this cat? i knwo you love the cats you already have, and i know it is hard when you have that many cats in a small space (i have 4 of them), but this cat needs a home. If you like the cat and you think it will be a good match in your home, why not take it in? Just think of how you would feel if you were this cat and you needed a loving home. Wouldn't you want these 2 sweet men to take you home and keep you forever?
@nglanfield (559)
• Turkey
28 Mar 07
I hope you don't back down Wolfie, this guy has got to understand that not only does he have to live with the cats but you do too, and he has to respect your feelings in this matter. Plus it will start to get alittle crowded with 5 cats around the house.!
Though you could start to charge him extra rent for the cats, just an idea!
