My daughter doesn't want to see her step-father.

Hey, sweety! The fact that your daughter doesn't want to go reflects on the treatment she is getting from her step dad. She is a very mature young lady who knows what she wants. Any child her age would feel the same way. Why go out of their way to spend time with someone who clearly does not take time to stay in contact. A phone call or a letter really doesn't take that much time out of one schedule. I think you should respect her feelings and not make her go. You will only push her away from you and into a rebelling stage. Not to mention the fact that it could injure(I know I spelled that wrong) the bond you have work so hard to build between the two of you. You want her to be able to count on you and come to you in time of need. By forcing her to go where she does not want to go will only hurt that bond. If she were 9 or younger I would say make her go, she doesn't really know what she wants. But she's older. And she knows how she feels. Do you really want her uncomfortable this summer and rejecting you? Just some friendly advise from a friend.

I think this probably has to do with the insecurity of losing her biological father again.Once you all start living together and she feels that her father is fond of her,I think she might change her mind and want to visit her step-father ,even if it's for a little while.I think what's of importance here is time.With things falling into place as you move in with her biological father,she might take it easy and do as you want her to.

I would seriously gt to the bottom of it...I mean has the bio dad maybe said something that might have her not wanting to go? Whether intentionally or not...Does she maybe have a fear that she'll be betraying her bio dad and he may "go away" again? Has her step father maybe (intentionally or not) said somethign to her about her real dad or about you two getting married....there could be numerous reasons and I htink your best bet is to sit down and have "no holds barred" talk with her and get to the bottom of it...once you have an idea of WHY she really doesnt want to go THEN you will know how best to handle it...

How long does your ex want your daughter to visit for? If it is the whole summer, that might be overwheming for your daughter to be thinking about, if she hasn't seen him in a while. She is probably also confused about the whole father/stepfather thing, and maybe she feels like she's being disloyal to her birth father, who is back in her life, if she still thinks of her stepfather as her dad. Did that make sense? It would help if her birth father spoke to her and encouraged her to go, telling her it would not hurt his feelings and that he would like for her to continue seeing her ex-stepfather. He could tell her he is grateful to her stepfather for having spent so much time helping to raise her, when he himself was not able to. You could tell your daughter she MUST go for a short time... say, a week or several days... and then if she is miserable she can come home, but if she is having fun she can stay. Hopefully when she is there for a few days, her stepfather will have some fun things planned for her, and they will be able to do some bonding... and maybe she'll decide to stay longer!

I believe you should make her go, for at least a little while. She obviously has some things she needs to work out with him, but if she doesn't go to see him they won't ever be worked out. If you think that she'll be safe and there's no reason she shouldn't go, (other than she's saying she doesn't want to go) then she should go. If things really are bad after a couple days then she should come home, but I think it would be beneficial for her to see him. As you said, he helped raise her and was an influential part of her life. They should keep some sort of relationship.

well you stated they had problems during the divorce - it is common also to see children side with the person that they live with. Obviously you divorced him for a reason, so she has a point in not seeing him, when you yourself make no attempt at spending the day with him and pretending everything is rosie - follow from example is what I like to say in leading children

i would not make her as she will them make things worse. let her chose to go. there is time for her and let them talk more on the phone and so to repair what ever needs to. making her is not good

Just pray and ask help so our Heavenly Father can solve your problem he's the number one problem solver in this world, if you believe in him he will solve any problem you have, nothing is impossible to him, anything is possible.

I wouldn't make her go. I would keep trying to find out why she doesn't want anything to do with him. Do you think he could have behaved inappropriately toward her at some time? It doesn't sound as though there is any evidence but I'm always a little paranoid about that sort of thing.

I don't think that you can force to meet her dad. That's her decision, and if she doesn't want to do, then don't make her. If you go against her, she might will not talk to you. How would you feel if someone will make to do something that you realy don't want to? I am sure you won't like it at all. Her dad can try talking to her in a gentle way, and it might work. Kids have a big ego, and even if she will regret and want to meet her father, she won't admit it.

i think its just a natural situation in a broken family because during and after the divorced the children are very affected and very hurt in that. children dont want that their parents got separated and dont want somebody will take place her real father. i think you should talk to you daughter and make her understand the situation.

I'm not sure how old she is but making her go is definitely not the answer to the situation. That would just make things worse. If there were problems when you got divorced between the two of them, you need to find out what they are. It may just be that she was being loyal to you or there could be something else that you don't know about that is more serious. I think you need to reassure your daughter that you will not force her to do anything but you would like to know why she doesn't want to see your ex. Don't make too big a deal out of it but if it's something important, you would like to know. Explain to her that you don't want her to get in the habit of avoiding a relationship because of a problem because that will cause problems for her in other relationships in the future. I think if you approach it from that perspective, she'll be willing to open up.

Well from what I think what you should do is don't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do. Let hercome to him on her own. Forcing it will only make her more mad than what she is. Have you ever tried hearing her side why she is acting like that. Maybe thats all she needs is for her feelings to come out about your divorce.And maybe that will help her fell that she not the wrong one for not visiting her father.

i kinda have the same thing but truned around i like my step dad ans i realy dont like my dad that much

If I were you I would have a meeting with her aand her step father and get to the bottom of this. Forcing her to go isn't the right answer nor letting her just not go. You have get to the bottom of this! Good Luck!

in situation like that you must not forced your daughter to let meet her stepfather you msut respect her decision of this and she have all the right...all you going to do maybe made some alibis for your ex..or maybe explained to him how his step daughter feels on this...

well just ask your daughter whats the problem and then try to solve those problem

My first thought is whether she feels it would be disloyal to her real dad. I think if the idea is for her to go visit him alone and she doesn't want I would step back and let her win this one. Try to make her talk about the issues they had during the divorce to cover the worry you have of letting her run away from problems.