When somebody hates you!
By ihsanul_aniq
@ihsanul_aniq (1118)
Malaysia
March 28, 2007 9:54am CST
At your working place, your housemate, your friend or wherever it is, what do you do when you know that somebody close to you really hates you for some reason. Maybe because from the small matter like ego until big matter in friendship. How do you face this problem? Do you just ignore and do as usual or run away? Can you share with me my friend.
2 people like this
8 responses
@sadgirl_1958 (1088)
• United States
1 Apr 07
I cannot imagine hating someone! I always go by what my mother told me - "Never hate the person - it is the behavior that is what you don't like." I always remind myself when I have been upset with someone it was the behavior or the action that upset me - not the person. However, I have had people who decide for whatever reason not to like me. Sometimes I have chosen to avoid the person - but other times I decided I want to make that person like me - and I have always been successful with this in the end! :) I hope no one is angry with you Bhai - you are too good and kind - if someone is hating you - they are not a very wise person and don't know what they are missing in a friend! :)
@ihsanul_aniq (1118)
• Malaysia
1 Apr 07
I take that as a compliment booboo :) people have various thought, it never be the same. My grandmother give me advice quit similar to you "if you don't like somebody, don't avoid her at all, but keep the relationship as usual, because we don't know what kind of test from God to us".. Actually booboo, even a very kind person (not me) have enemy. It's because, in our presence they feel unsecure, maybe for something like position, jealous or whatever. If this was the kind of reason they have to dislikes us, then it's really unfair booboo...birocracy... discrimination...
1 person likes this
@ihsanul_aniq (1118)
• Malaysia
18 Apr 07
Thanks to you too sis :) i appreciate to hear that from you. All you said is correct booboo, as expected from experience person :) hmmm it's been a long time since my last login...recently there's a lot problem arise, unexpectedly..
1 person likes this
@sadgirl_1958 (1088)
• United States
4 Apr 07
There will always be people who won't like us for we can't be popular with all people. That is okay - we should stick with the advice of our elders - as you said your grandmother gave good advice and I believe so did my mother. My mother always said that "you never know when you may need the help of another person - so don't make enemies of other people." I always try to remember that we should not burn the bridges that lead us to each other. We are all God's children and He doesn't want us to hate each other - but to love one and other. If He can forgive us - why can't we do so as well? I would be so lucky to have a Bhai like you - I know that your heart is good and that you would always be careful to nurture a relationship and not destroy it. Thank you for being my Malaysian brother!
1 person likes this
@dream2night (624)
• Latvia
29 Mar 07
I guess it depends what is that person to me. If that is only some person on side, stranger, I would not care because he/she will not know what kind of person I am for real. I f it is family memeber - it is imporatnt to me to make it better.
1 person likes this
@ihsanul_aniq (1118)
• Malaysia
29 Mar 07
You're right, it's hard to deal when it happens to someone close to us. We stuck annd confuse between ego and friendship. Sometime for make it easy, we always ignore it, but no doubt, it will never solve the problem. Anyway, ignore is something good to aplly right :) because i too do the same LOL
2 people like this
@ihsanul_aniq (1118)
• Malaysia
3 Apr 07
Did you ever experience this my friends :) it seems hard to deal right...
1 person likes this
@dream2night (624)
• Latvia
3 Apr 07
I think ignorance is the worst thing, but it works. Ignorance comes with lonyness ect.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
28 Mar 07
I definitely run away. When I was growing up, I got bullied in school and I really didn't ever have any true friends for some reaso. I don't know what the problem actually was as to why. I can't really say that they hated me or disliked me for any reason. They just didn't ever really want to hang around with me or anything. I was pretty much a loner all the way through school. As I grew up and started working in the workplace, I did gather some so-called friends and I also had some people who were my enemy for whatever reason. They hated me and the only reason i could see is that they were jealous of me. I just stayed away from them as much as I could. I took this for as lond as i could take it, but now I am working at home because of the way I have been treated all of my life.
1 person likes this
@ihsanul_aniq (1118)
• Malaysia
28 Mar 07
It seems you gone through hard day my friend. In this world it's hard to find someone that we can called as a friend. I do think maybe you have to build up again your strenght to do some social thing my friend. Don't make judgement from the past. It's not right. We should learn from the past. Everyday we will deal with so many people, so how can we make sure to treat best all of them to make comfortable both side? It's something sometime we should let it go, forget about it, and it does correct if we should try happy go lucky. the most important part is we desereve happiness in our life :) am i correct?
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
28 Mar 07
If I know why they hate me and it is a legit reason, I would just ignore them when I see them. If I don't know why they hate me, I would ask them....maybe they really don't, you never know if you don't ask.
1 person likes this
@ihsanul_aniq (1118)
• Malaysia
28 Mar 07
Is it ok just to ignore about it my friend..When they hate us, that means it's not comfortable to working with them. Even don't ask, i think we know that somebody hate us, ask just for know the reason right. Then what after the reason is something out of your control like jealous about position. Hmmmm it's hard for run for teamwork right..
1 person likes this
@winkerf (44)
• Philippines
28 Mar 07
i'll tell you my experience.
my best friend and i got into a fight. well, i didn't knew that he's angry at him until one of our common friends told me the truth. of course, i'd be surprised and disappointed. for making something ignorable a really big deal.
my ego sure rose. and i was really disappointed. and with the following days, i ignored him. but everytime we would cross paths, especially if around common friends, we'd act like nothing happened (but we never talked and did our best to avoid looking at one another).
also, i attempted to outdo him. prove to him he's totally wrong and perform better than him. it's ego.
but yes, at one time, i grew tired of everything. and since i was too "shy" to confront it. i wrote it down through a letter. thankfully, he responded.
we both knew that it's hard to rebuild that great friendship we had. but it's better than going separate ways with that bad feeling against each other.
1 person likes this
@ihsanul_aniq (1118)
• Malaysia
28 Mar 07
Good friend is something like that, it just an ego. I do think it's hard to face with right. I think i face same problem with you. I just ignore all the unimportant thing to me. How this can be not important when it goes for relationship right, it's our best friend, sharing same place and of course will see each other frequently. It's to solved rather than ignorant. For i girls i think it's so easy to handle with, but what do you thin if it's between men my friends. The ego is something uncomparable right like a mountain...
1 person likes this
@ihsanul_aniq (1118)
• Malaysia
1 Apr 07
Actually i don't know what is right to do now, because he supposed to think like this though, but it seems it's ok for him. It's like this never bother him, or he just pretending to begin with. It's not something easier my friend, to say sorry or whatever, to admit mistakes, either noticing about it or not. How if he never have intention to be a friends of mine?
1 person likes this
@winkerf (44)
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
hmm. we could say that it's PRIDE we're talking about here. it could be because no one wanted to admit who's wrong, and that could only make matters worse.
i know this may be hard, but being the first to say sorry could be very meaningful. there's no need to know who's wrong. in reality, both of you did something wrong to one another.
1 person likes this
@ihsanul_aniq (1118)
• Malaysia
28 Mar 07
You are so kind my friend, actually not all of us strong enough to do that because it's an ego play the role. Instead looking whose right and wrong, it will make the situation become worst. but if we're go lucky type person and never concern about it as a matter of our life, then it's nothing right :) what do you think..
1 person likes this
@sgmkjsekar (101)
• India
29 Mar 07
First I need to absolulely sure whether he is hating or not. A lot of times it may not be intentional. Since we are connected with each other we have to be in the other person's shoes and see what he is thinking..this is a bit difficult since the ego which is hurt may not allow. But if we transcend this and see from his perspective things can be sorted it. Otherwise what is the meaning of being in friendship. Running away is an act of cowardice..
1 person likes this
@sgmkjsekar (101)
• India
29 Mar 07
Since we are connected to each other we have to be in other person's shoes and clarify the issue..Running away is not a good sign for friendship
