why do you get upset?
By mansha
@mansha (6298)
India
March 30, 2007 2:40am CST
I have read many discussions about people being upset because they recieved adverse comments or were criticised by someone online? I want to ask now, why do you take thses com,ments so personally. come on this is net, I don't know you and you all don't know me. For all I care you may be posting something entirely false about yourself or I may be a horrible liar making things up to get responses. Or we may be the superheroes for all those who know us in our real lives. we may be the best persons to be friemds with but we are known here by what we write and express. sincerely or lightly. Why does opinion of a person who is sitting across miles from us leaves us so angry, upset or disturbed? He or she writing that negative comment or accusation simply doesn't know us and would never even meet us still disturbing feelings take place in our mind. we log in to internet to pass time or as a hobby or soemtimes to escape the harrowing reality of our day to day life and still that leaves us again in the same vicious circle of negativity from which we wanted top escape.
I try not to let such comments or arguments disturb me, I take it all in my stride, even rate them positively sometimes if it presents a new point of view different from mine. How do you react to that, will you care to share?
13 people like this
39 responses
@elairz (260)
• Malaysia
30 Mar 07
i think its normal to get upset when someone bad talk about us. i too got upset about this in the early stages when i discovered internet. but i gotten used to it and it didnt upset me anymore. apparently some people still havent gotten past this stage yet.
3 people like this
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
It could be that what makes these people upset is because they have received adverse language in their responses. This I can understand. I have read one complaint stating that there are some here who respond using curses and swearings.
I have noticed some who feel offended because they get responses which run against their formed opinions. I don't understand this second reaction. If we are posting our discussions for others to share with, we can always expect that what everyone says will not necessarily be in line with what we have in mind. If we are not prepared to receive those types of comments, it is best that we post discussions founded on those safe topics like appliances, houses and animals or pets.
3 people like this
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
30 Mar 07
I dont know but 6months ago in a discussion i had somebody had got smart and i got smart with them but i didnt take it to the heart like that.To me its not all that serious.Everybody is entitled to their own opinion so i dont worry about anything.I have enough problems here at home to be all stressed out on what somebody has said on the internet.
2 people like this
@ginagee (843)
•
30 Mar 07
Hello Mansha, well it does seem strange that we do sometimes let peoples comments really get to us but I suppose if we come on here to chat, discuss and make friends then a nasty comment or negative rating would upset any of us.
When I first joined, peoples comments did upset me but now I just reply to them and ask why they did it. When people have a different point of view to me then that's different as we are entitled to our own beliefs and I would never pass a bad comment on that sort of reply. It's the ones that are just being rude or looking for an argument that annoy me as I don't think this is the right place for that.
Maybe Mylot should have a separate section for those who want to argue or pick on others!!! I don't agree with being rude or nasty or reacting that way to comments unless the person is standing in front of me, behaving that way on here is like doing it behind someone's back because you know they can't get to you physically, so it's a cowards way out.
So to all mylotters who have been affected by this now is the time to stand up to bullies and not let it affect you, the pen is mightier than the sword so start sharpening those pens (or fingers on keyboards) and fight back don't get upset because that's the reaction these type of people enjoy!!!
@mansha (6298)
• India
30 Mar 07
Yeah good point , I liked the suggestion of seprate section for arguments. may be some one would add thjat as their interest and people will start arguing,lol.
I definately agree it does take time to realise that you are on the net and you stop reacting to adverse and negative comments.
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
30 Mar 07
Good discussion mansha. I too often rate people with a "+" if their view is different than mine. After all thet is what MyLot is about, sharing opinions and information. I think it is human nature for people to get defensive when being attacked personally, especially if they have very strong convictions about their opinion. I try not to get upset, after all, like you said, this is the 'net. We don't have to live with these people. But on occassion I have gotten upset, and then I give my response and when I log off I'm done with it. Why let it effect my "real" life? That being said I have made some friends here that during the course of a day I'll go "so & so on MyLot would find this funny" and whatnot.
2 people like this
@nkkyluv (83)
• Nigeria
30 Mar 07
i dont get it when people get upset when they are criticised, i dont see you & you dont know me, so what the hell!!! am i getting upset for. infact it makes me laugh out so loud & sometimes it sharpens my mentality i.e., the way i reason & view things.
@bbboricua03 (183)
• United States
31 Mar 07
I don't understand why people take things on line so seriously also, it always boggles my mind. Who cares what people on the internet think about you? They'll never know who you really are, so who cares?
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
30 Mar 07
You are right lol.I had some different people's opinions yesterday for example and I toopositively rated them and thanked them for their responses and even realised that their point ofview really was valid..I think we can all imrove and helpeach other this way..What ofcourse I don't like is damn right rude and insolent remarks madeby people whojust want to spam the boards with nastiness and hatred..those people I just ignore and don't wastemy time on.
2 people like this
@25th_Stargazer (887)
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
Luckily, I have not received any disgusting comments on discussions that I started. Maybe because my subject do not provoke too much emotion. I have come across discussion where the people are upset with each other because of their contrasting opinions. I was just laughing and shaking my head and choose not to take part.
I am a peace loving person and I refuse to let any nasty comment that doesn't help improve the quality of my life disturb me. If someone go against my opinion, I respect it. Probably in their anger these people forget about the word respect.
2 people like this
@sweetsue (758)
• Philippines
31 Mar 07
I don't want to be too hard on myself. I accept constructive criticsms and I do really appreciate them. Sometimes, I get embarass or having an ill feelings with some comments over my responses/posts but I don't dwell on it to the point that would boils down to anger. I just gave it a sigh and shrugged it off.It is a matter of taking things lightly.
On the other, I find mylotters getting matters here so seriously. Even battling against their beliefs and they throw negative things to each other when having different perspectives. As for me, I don't want to indulge myself in that. I just want to have fun and learn. That's all there is to it.
1 person likes this
@vensan882003 (180)
• India
30 Mar 07
i never get upset in life as life is a game ,there will be some up & downs in life...
take it as a challange
@shylalex (13)
• India
31 Mar 07
I get upset as recently I have said some hurting words to one of my sweet friend.So the reason I have been upset.it was really a very bad experience of my life.
but i have decided not to say someting more to this as sorry cant bring the days back.
So before saying something from now onward my friends be careful. as words hurts more than knife
1 person likes this
@samrat16 (2442)
• India
30 Mar 07
Dear friend yes we get upset if we get negative response but we admire that somebody has different thought.
But what about people who write abusive langauge. I remmember once called jerk and fool. I hate somebody if he/she is calling me names like this.
Nobody is here to take all this and we also can give what we have taken.
@weemam (13372)
•
30 Mar 07
WHEN i GOT A COUPLE OF BAD RESPONSES . ONE WAS FILTHY AND i REPORTED HIM BUT THE OTHER WAS REALLY NASTY ABOUT MY FAMILY , iT DID HURT ME AND i WAS REALLY UPSET , i THINK IT WAS BECAUSE NOBODY HAD EVER SPOKEN TO ME LIKE THAT AND PROBABLY i HAVE LIVED A PRETTY SHELTERED LIFE , BUT i MUST SAY THAT MY FRIENDS ON HERE SAID EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID AND MADE ME REALIZE HE WASN'T IMPORTANT IN MY LIFE AND i WOULD NEVER MEET HIM ( THANK GOD) AND NOW IF i GET IT AGAIN i WILL JUST IGNORE IT AND MOVE ON , WAS A LESSON TO LEARN XX
1 person likes this
@anne_143god (5387)
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
I agree with you that it should not be treated personally but I guess sometimes you cant stop to be upset if the other people says very bad about your discussion so I think people should just dont put any bad comment to other member here to prevent some mis understanding.
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
31 Mar 07
sometimes im upset to someone here when i read some adding comment that says im a cheater and ive done it 6 times already..since its not true i add comment on him about the issue..and he replied that its not me ..i am just interpreting it the wrong way and ask apologies for it..at first i review all the replies and i found out that the one he have post a comment was just areply from mine he sjust adding a comment to him coz the reply of this person to my posting wa scopy pasted and it was his reply that was copy..i thought it was on me lol..and i accept his apologies and said about some misinterpretation..and that time on i carefully read each comment before adding some first..ive got also some replies with opposing views like mine..but i just read it coz i think everyone is intitle of their opinion here..except on the above mentioned situation..
@yrbuddy (51)
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
I think it is normal for one to feel upset because we are Human after all. Even if we are the third party seeing two other people quarrelling, our emotions are aroused too. Our first reaction is "Woo... Why are they behaving like this?" So, if the comment is directed at us personally, you can imagine the stronger emotion coming into play. The first reaction is always to defend. I would be amazed if a person has no reaction at all to negative comments on him or her. In fact, I feel that a person has to be REAL SELF-CENTERED in order not to be affected by others. There is no positive or negative thing attached to this Self-centerness. It is an objective view that for a person not to be affected by the external, this person must be very focus on his/her own internal world. So, I feel that it is more natural for one to have reaction but next important step is whether this person should let the negative feelings hang on for too long. What positive reaction can come out of it so that it is a win-win situation for both the person who attack and the one who is being attacked? One I could think of it that the person who is being attacked has to say her piece to defend herself, so that the person attacking will learn something positive. This is my two cents.
@mansha (6298)
• India
31 Mar 07
No my hubby says you have to practice being neutral. If you are given something which you do not accept where does it go -it stays with the person who wanted to give it to you,same way if there is some negative remark you do not accept it where does it stay, it stays with the person making it and it does not and should not affect you at all. Thats what he has practiced all his life and thats what he says should be your attitide to soething really abusive.
@cjthedog64 (1552)
• United States
30 Mar 07
I try not to take anything online very personal. There are very few people that I deal with via the net, that I actually KNOW in real life. Everyone else, I just imagine is scrunched up really small inside my computer. None of you are real, you only exist in here. LOL!
1 person likes this
@girish_aarthy (68)
• India
30 Mar 07
its all the demand of one`s ego. one`s eager to be a pride of others. take things as they are narrated. see the reality in them if negative coments don`t see to be real ignore them. life has many give and takes. these don`t make our worth increased / decreased.
