Do you think twice when someone asks you for money?

If the person is a close friend or family, I have never asked why. If it is an amount I can loan without hardship to myself, I loan it without thinking twice and without regard to when it will be paid beck. I have been asked on occasion to loan a co-worker money, it is usually $20 or less so I normally loan it without thought as well. One occasion a co-worker wa with me while shopping. I knew she was having hard times, so when we got in the car, I handed her $50. SHe never asked, I just felt it was the right thing to do. If I don't have the money to lend, then I normally explain that to the person. If someone I hardly knew asked me for money, I think I would be reluctant, but if I knew for a fact they were in dire need, and I could help, I would. It's just in my nature.

I used to be so naive , verging on the pathetic lol..I even left myself homeless and stranded to help others..who never returned what they owed me ..especially when I needed it. Now I have a strict rule..I lok after my own affairs first and if there is any thing extra and I can spare it..I will give it..not loan it..if that person really needs it..then I am clear of the burden of wondering if and when that person will giveit back and I clear the other person of the burden too. But this isonly if it is needed..loans..I stay well clear of..I have learnt the bitter hard way and so I have set my limits..Like you mentioned..we all need it and I slog my guts out to make a few bucks..I will definately not just giveit a way tosome lazy good for nothing bumming around people either! They can work like I do to get it..

It depends on who is asking for it. i have a few friends that i would give money to anytime and I know that they would do the same for me. I also have a few thati would not loan money to coz I have in the past and I never saw them again and since it wasn´t much i couldn´t be bothered to ask, but they will not be able to take a loan from me again =)

I am the tyoe of person who doesn't like to borrow and of course i don't like to lend. If the situation arises, i usually ask what will they do with the money and when are they going to return it. i usually lend money to my bestfriend and that is it. sometimes some friends try to lend some money from me but i just try to ignore it and hope that they will forget but when they really insist on borrowing form me i try to explain that i can't. Lucky for me i don't have a lot of friends who try to borrow money from me. Almost all of us are the same when it comes to money. Luckily all of those i know are independent people who don't like to ask for help because they know they can manage on their own.

Once bitten, twice shy. I have in the past lent/given money and that was the end of that. I won't do it again, for one I don't think it serves the person being given it, except for the quick fix they get from it, but unless it turns their life around I doubt I did them a favor. So now I cringe, ask why and say no anyway with a sorry added for good measure. And I actually do lie and say I don't have it - so I'm not honest with it either. If I had plenty to go around then perhaps it would be different, but mine has been hard earned and difficult to let go of. Does this make me shallow?

I'm like you too, honey. $200 may not bankrupt me but I still like to get to the bottom line of why they needed the money. If a friend likes to borrow money from me, I prefer that they do it in a personal approach. Mind you, I think that friend of yours was rude by SMS message you instead of asking you personally. I had a good friend studying in the same University as I am. It was our final exams before graduation. My friend wasn't allowed to take the exams because she still have a balance of $245 in her tuition fee. She didn't asked nor beg to lend her money. I voluntarily offered to pay her tuition fee. It took her 5 years before she was able to pay me back. I trusted this friend because she never failed to help me too. I will only lend money to whom I know really well. PS: Would you lend me money to buy some carrots. "grin"

I honestly have a lot of issues lending money to people. Specially, my close friends. It's not that I don't have any money, but it's hard to earn a dollar! I'm a frugal kind of person, and I like to get the most for my dollar, that way I can save money for my daughter's future. I hate it when people come and asks you for money and then just goes and spends it on something idiotic. Like some very close friends of mine. Listen to this, They are married they get paid twice as much money a month than me, which is about 2200 dollars. I get paid only 1200 dollars and I can actually pay all my bills, feed a family of three and have at least 400 dollars to put in the bank, my friends on the other hand they spend their money on gadgets and gizmos and then at the end of the month they don't even have money to buy food. When I ask them where the money went they just tell me that they had some emergencies. Of course I help them, but I get so upset that they cannot manage their money. GRRR! *sigh* Well, to make things worse, I have to wait at least two weeks to get the money that I lend them back. I guess that close friends think that they have some "special privileges" and they don't feel the need to pay you as soon as possible! This is why now when my friends ask me for money I give them the least amount of money that I can. It's mean, but I have to look out for my family's interests. :P

I am a little tight on money right now, my wife and I are budgeting not only to eventually move but I am in school and she is looking to return to school for her Master's degree. That being said, I am actually still a little generous with money, provided I have it to be generous with. When I was working two jobs, I often "loaned" people money knowing that I wouldn't get it back right away, if at all. I know this is a haphazard way of dealing with everything, but I also trust my friends enough that if they say they need the money, then they probably need it. I don't keep a lot of people around me who are untrustworthy. What I also do is ask them what it is for. If it is for a bill that is past due, I will ask them where the bill needs to be paid and just pay it that way. With a homeless person, I am very generous with money, but would be more than happy to purchase them a meal inside and give it to them on my way out of a restaurant. I try to do the best for me and my wife first, saving the money and making sure that i take care of my needs... but I can't take the money with me when I pass, so I want to make sure that my friends and family are taken care of. One year, I received a tax refund of over $1400 and sent it to my younger sister (who had just turned 16 at the time) to help her pay for a car so that she would have an easier time getting to school... It's all about the people in my life. The ones I keep around and the people who would do that same gesture for me if the tables were turned. If I get scammed, then I get scammed. I also believe in karma and a good deed, whether or not it is for an unjust cause by the recipient, means that I have once again laid balance to me being a good person... let the consequences of their injustice towards me rest on their souls...

I'm afraid I believe in "Neither a borrower nor a lender be" and it's pretty well been my philosophy throughout life. Naturally, family don't count. Now don't get me wrong, I have had several bank loans and for the most part they have all been paid ahead of time. One of my most shameful experiences was when I needed to have repairs done to my car. I had no income and I asked my brother to help. He and his wife were both earning excellent money and I asked him if he could help me and he did not hesitate. For some unknown reason I never repaid it and since he sent the money he has never mentioned it. This was over 20 years ago and I still remember but I also know I'll never pay it back. How weird am I? My daughter consistently borrowed money from me but would pay it back a little at a time. The last time was about 10 years ago and she did not finalise the debt being a couple of hundred short. She has never mentioned it but she has also never asked to borrow again.

yes i also ask why the person is asking for money coz if i have to know that my money would be well spent. i also have to know if the person really really needs the money immediately. coz if the person can wait then i'd have him wait till he earns the money himself. some people actually become dependent and turn into parasites if they get used to just getting money anytime they need it. also i think about my needs. if i need the money at the moment of premeditate on such need arising anytime soon then i won't lend it yet coz i might end up rushing the person to pay it and when he can't then we'll feel bad about each other.

Well I recently went through this with a good friend/ cousin. It started during the summer, we had all made plans to go to the Oregon Dunes to camp out and ride our 4-wheelers. Well just before the trip my cousin quit one job, and started another, his paydays were all messed up and didn't know how he was gonna be able to go and keep his bills on track, until he got things back on track. So he asked for a $150, not a big deal, my husband said "no problem, just pay me back when you can," So nearly 7 months later, we haven't seen a cent from that, About 1 month after the trip my husband brought it up, because WE really needed it (my husband works contruction and was laid off for a month). But our friend had some excuse about not having it due to his girlfriend using his debit card. We drop hints, we've come out and asked, but there is ALWAYS an excuse. So I think it's a bad idea, Money and Friends don't mix,

money should never come between relationships established as friends ..you lend money to friend ..he does not give it back to you in time ...you get angry ...the relationship gets strained.

Way back in high school & college, I used to be very helpful, very eager to help out, especially for my friends and connaissance. Some would come up to me, some don't. But even if they didn't ask for it directly, it is as if I could sense they needed it badly. And I have a weak point if it involves food. I mean for food expenses, lunch or snacks. Not for me ha,(^^,LOL^^,) It is just that I can't stand someone who looks deprived or hungry. Especially when you are in school, it is not easy when all of your classmate are having snacks or a hearty lunch. And because you are on a tight budget, you can not eat properly. You can not joined them on recess time. And it is hard to study with an empty stomach too. Some decline politely, but I invite them to share with me or to only accompany me so they won't be too embarassed. When the time comes that money is involved. I dont avoid the issue or topic. If it's a small amount and I have it, and it is for a good reason, especially for school needs (like test papers, ballpen, ids, for fare especially to go home(^^,LOL^^,)etc..)I agree to lend them money. Even sometimes forget about it. For large amount, I have to think twice and I take in consideration, if he/she can really afford to pay it back. Because we are talking about large amount, as in, it may involves my personal savings. And I also take in consideration, if he/she has a good lender track. Because in high school & college, I have seen many students who borrow money from one person to another but never payed them back. So it looks more like an taking advantage type of attitude. And another reason for me to be more incline to lend money is the way they ask for it. I don't like the sugar-coated like speech with too much of scented flowers in it and promises.You know the type that sounds phony and unreal. I like the person to ask me personally, to give me the true reason why and where she/he would need it. And I do take in consideration immediate needs like hospitalization, emergency.. Even if one of my friend, ask me by sms, I may be incline with it. But not like the one of your friend, is too straight forward and inpersonal. And it has to come from him/her that he/she will be willing to travel the N-kilometers to get it from me. From there you can conclude the real effort from his/her part, so it may be really badly needed. When I was a student I took also in consideration that it is my parents hard earned money that they will borrow not really mine. But I admit to have been more easy, when I was earning on my own. And that was the time that I had the worst experiences. I won't mention them. It's too hard breaking, because you think they were your friends, and co-workers, but, there are still really bad apples in the society, with memory deficiency. So I'm more careful now, and given my present situation, as single mother, I have learned to think for myself first and my daughter. I may have sound more like I'm talking business, but we have to be realistic. It is good to help others but set your limits. Not every friends are good payers. Some take advantage of you, some don't. And weight the pros and cons, if you are willing to sacrifice the amount of money lended, go for it. If you have doubts, voiced them out, so you may have a clear understanding about it. But it doesn't mean that I'm not lending money anymore. I just choose carefully who I help out. I considered it more now like a help to him/her, so you won't have too much expectations. So you won't have your heart broken into pieces for trusting them to pay you back. And I also accept acts of friendship as payback. You know what I mean, it is worth even more than the money you have lended. Because there are still good people in the society, but they are really poor financially. But they have a tons of love and friendship to give, and they always have an extra hand/shoulder for you when you need them most. (^^,)!

Thankfully, I've never been approached for money by anyone, but if I was I would probably not do it, unless there was a health crisis involved. My husband lent $1500 to a friend once and never got back very much of it. It ruined his friendship with this guy and that's why it's a bad idea to lend anyone any money.

I have fortunately never been asked for money by a friend , My sons yes when they were younger but that was different , ( always got it back ) well most of it lol . I would hate for anyone to ask me for money , I was always told the quickest way to loose a friendship is to loan them money , probably people now I couldn't afford to give them a loan but,and I would really hate to refuse them xx

I used to be the "give the shirt off my back" type of person. I would never want to see someone struggle if I had the capacity to help them. To a degree, I still am and will always be this way. HOWEVER! (and it's a big however..lol) I now consider the source of the request or need VERY carefully. When I met my husband, he had some financial troubles. He was "robbing Peter to pay Paul" and was making some seriously bad decisions in regards to money. He was also defrauded, in a very serious way, by a woman who I later found out had even been jailed for fraud. Needless to say, I helped him as much as I could and he got back on his feet. He now has a VERY different respect and regard for money. The actual problem arose when we got married. As I've elaborated in one of my older discussions here at myLot, one of his relatives came up for the wedding. I was asked if I would cash a check for her when she arrived in town because her direct deposit pay check was going into the bank during the actual time she was on the road, driving up for the wedding. Being that this was a new in-law (that I was also meeting in person for the first time), I agreed to cash the check. It bounced. I lost close to a thousand dollars and got dinged for the NSF fee too. In retrospect, I believe that she was aware of the financial help that I had provided for my husband. I guess she thought I was either independently wealthy (there's another big HA HA!) or I'd have no problem helping her too. As a matter of fact, I HAD helped her in the past, shipping a box of school supplies for her child when there was evidently not enough money to get what was needed. Ultimately, had she ASKED for help to be able to attend he wedding, I'm sure I would have lent her something... whatever I could have spared at the time - but that should have been MY decision. I was getting married! There were expenses to pay and everything was provided for our guests with the exception of their accommodations (they had no meal charge, no open bar to pay, nothing... we just wanted the pleasure of their company). I even made gift baskets of snack foods and treats that were waiting in their rooms when they arrived. I thought I had been generous. What irks me is that I was even asked to take her shopping for souvenirs while she was here and, unbeknownst to me, I watched her spend MY money on stuff for her friends back home! To this day, in spite of all our attempts, I've never received one cent of repayment. My husband also has no contact with that relative any more because she avoids him like the plague. Her behavior has resulted in me not trusting people when it comes to money. I was always very careful, even from the start, but I really got taken for a ride because I was trying to be caring to a new relation. I won't be taken advantage of like that ever again.

Well I guess i'm not the only one who has come people who ask for money. Yes, I do hesitate when people ask me for money. I stop to think about giving money to someone because sometimes I have to think when was the last time they've given me that helping hand. I often get this question from family. wait I know your asking why would I even hesitate as to why i have to think about this, come on now you can't tell me that It doesn't make you think.. about the last time they could have helped you in your time of crisis. I have been there when I could have asked them but chose not to. Yeah, sure that's family but they always ask without question. Maybe they ask thinking I'm always doing my part in making the world a better place. But you see I'd rather help someone who maybe having a hard time by not giving money but, in other ways. Lending a helping is much more gratifying than shelling out my hard earn cash. I have often volunteered at various places,.. ronald mcdonald house, habitat for humanity,.. and what have they done. I often ask myself should I give money to them. No. Is my answer. I will never give money to whom can help themselves, who have the ability to help others. That never happens since I've known them.. a sad shame... crying for help when they don't need it. Not someone I really want to be associated with or even know. I do my part in making the world a better place and they just want to take the credit. Even though i have somewhat fallen off topic, I say thank you for post this discussion. Saying thank you and meaning it is.... priceless!

There is absolutely no doubt that money makes the mare go. Modern man talks in terms of money, thinks in terms of money and tries to grab it by fair and foul means. i did give a loan to my own brother but then i didnt get back the entire sum back. later i realised that he boozed off all the money. from then on i never gave any money to anyone, unless i am sure i would get back the sum.

First of all anyone who really knows me would never ask for money because they are well aware I don't have any to share. If let say I was to win a lottery I would definitely be in a position to more than willingly share with my best friends. I am a very wise woman and no one would ever have the chance to take advantage of me because I know exactly who my Good friends are and who my fair weather friends may be. I believe you need to be very careful when it comes to sharing money among friends, there's been many a friendships destroyed because of money.

I've never borrowed money from others before, cause that makes me feel embarassed. By saying this, I do not mean I'm rich enough and needn't to borrow money from others, I just don't like that kind of feeling, as if I'm inferior to others. That thing may be happen someday. Of course, I've also been approached for a loan, but not as large sum as $200. I'm a university student, and can not really afford that sum. If others want to borrow money from me, I'll first see who it is. If it's my good friend, and the sum is not large, I'll lend it. If not, I won't do it.