SAHM- How much does your spouse help around the house?

My partner does actually do a lot around the house, but only when he is in the cleaning mood like you say (its been dirty for awhile). It especially drives me crazy because he expects me to do everything around the house when I am taking care of our very clingy, sooky teething baby. She won't let me put her down most of the time, how am I supposed to cook, clean, etc. And then he thinks well he works all day, why should he have to come home from an 8 hour day and help out, "Well hunny, I am doing a 24 hours job suck it up!"

We don't have children at present. And since we don't make dinner at home either, the only house work remaining is just the cleaning. To my fortune, my husband prefers cleaning to cooking. And he says the cleaning I've done is always not good. So he takes the cleaning work. Sometimes he would complain because this seems should be wife's housework. But I would flatter him then he would keep on doing. But we are having baby soon. I know then there will be much more housework and baby sitting work to do. I'm a little worried.

I'm a SAHM and that is pretty much my job and my husband has his own job working outside the home. So when my husband is out working, I'm at home working doing what needs to be done, like taking care of the kids and even keeping up with house work. It's not hard to take care of kids and keep the house clean, it can be done and that is our job. I don't feel it's right that my husband has to come home and clean the house, so I make sure its nice and clean when he comes home. The only thing my husband does when he comes home is spend time with the kids and he even makes dinner for all of us and then I clean up the kitchen. But as far as cleaning the house when he gets home from work, umm no, that is what I'm suppose to do. I'm a SAHM and that is what we do. Now if my husband has the day off, he does help clean the house on his days off. So why can't you have the house picked up when your husband/partner comes home from a hard days work? You should have that part done with by the time he gets home. A SAHM doesn't just sit on the couch and watch kids, you have other duties to do.

I do almost all of it. She works (by choice) we could retire on what we have pretty comfortably the cleaning people do that I do most of the laundry and all the shopping, cooking, car maint, etc. its ok, no kids I think I would enjoy teaching and/or babysitting some kids Some lady at Burger king today had some happy kids munching fries, I was thinking, man I wish I had some kids. Not little loud demanding ones, nice older, smart , quiet ones. Ones who need some attention and love.

help around the house??? what??? they do that?!?!?! ;) mine rarely RARELY helps around the house. he thinks that if he picks his clothes up off of the floor after taking a shower, he has helped me for the day! lol. he doesnt even have to throw out the trash. he is so spoiled and lucky. most of the time, it doesnt bother me too much. but there are days when i feel like i am just going to lose it, and i go off on him. i go nuts when i hold things in for too long. the only times he starts to help is if he sees that i am on strike. that doesnt happen too often, but i get so sick and tired of doing the exact same routine day after day. i can deal with cleaning up after me and my 17 month old son, but my husband is a grown man, and i know it cant be THAT hard to put his clothes IN the basket rather than on the floor next to it. i know he can wash a dish, or a glass. i know he can unroll his socks before throwing them on the floor next to the basket (huge pet peeve for me). i actually go so far as to leave the socks rolled up, and wash them that way, then go ahead and put them back in his dresser that way. i thought it would give him the idea that i have much better things to do with my time, but no. those same dirty rolled up socks still end up next to the basket. ?? guys. yes, my husband lets me have time to myself when it is my sons nap time. surprise surprise. if it isnt my sons nap time, my husband makes it a nap time. then i come home to find the baby sleeping and my husband playing video games or lounging on the sofa. he doesnt understand what i can possibly be doing all day, since the baby is "so easy to take care of". rrrrr. i always respond saying that if i were to take care of him the way my husband does, sure, my days would be a breeze. yes, this is a touchy subject for me.

Has your husband ever been left alone with the kids and house for a couple days? I think then he'd see you're not sitting around all day watching soap operas. For a couple years I was working outside of our home, so dh had to watch our two older children, put them to bed, and clean up the mess. Before that, he thought SAHM's had it easy. After I became a full time SAHM, he told me that I was very brave. LOL Now, we have 3 kids and he has become even more helpful. He cleans up around the house almost as much as I do. When he comes home from work, right away he pitches in by taking care of the kids so I can make supper. On Sundays, he usually does the cooking, to give me a break. Your husband has to realize that being a mom, maid, cook, doctor, and many other things is a lot harder than just going to work and doing your "one" job. So, you're going to need a little help. Explain to him as much as you can about what you do and what you need help with. If he doesn't get it, take a little vacation all by yourself. And, if he still doesn't get it, I'm not sure he ever will.

Hmmm, does keeping the couch warm count as a chore? My husband does little around here. He takes the garbage bag out of the can and leaves it in the hall but rarely actually takes it out to the can outside. Either me or my 5 year old son does that. Other then that he does nothing else. Well he changes the baby sometimes and will make a bottle for her. I do everything else--cleaning, cooking, laundry, paying the bills, caring for the kids, taking the kids to play, girl scouts, homework, etc. He can't be bothered with mundane stuff like that.

Well, my hubby only does something if I ask him to do it. It is not often that he will just pick up something and clean in, unless he wants something. When he comes home he says he is off the clock and does nothing. Like you, my hubby stays home when the baby is sleeping and the other children are occupied while I do all the shopping and errands.

As far as the kids go your husband just isn't used to being at home with them so that is why he gets frustrated after such a short period of time. I work and my husband does not help at all. If you were working that would be different. But since you are at home taking care of the house and kids is actually your job. I am not saying that he shouldn't help out a little. He should clean up after himself at least. Not leave messes for you to clean up. But the other things you should not mind about doing.

My partner will do a lot with the kids and he doesn't mind cooking once or twice a week, but thats about it. I usually leave him a note on weekends before I go to bed because I know he'll be up before me. I'll ask him to do dishes, and feed the cat, sometimes he'll scoop the litter tray too. other than that he doesn't do a whole lot. During the week I understand, but I get frustrated at weekends sometimes when he complains about things not being spotless yet doesn't do anything about it.

My spouse also isn't much in hosuework. he cant cook and is awful with most household chores, But he does the vaccum once in 2 weeks and he helps me everyway he can with our baby once he comes home so everything else is forgiven.

my husband only helped whenever he feels like it. like once a month. i've talked to him about this and he was not happy about it. he will make face and start to clean the house. it's good but thats not the way it should be. i'm not going to quarrel everytime just to make him do the housework. the trick that i do now is, leave the housework like unfolded clothes, unwashed clothes for a long time and wait for him to do it. it worked so far...

I'm pretty lucky mine does laundry like a crazy man. He does more laundry that I do. Fine with me as it's a hated chore. He doesn't help out much past that but that's one chore I don't have to deal with. What about sitting down and talking about it. We've done that and we set out ground rules. You deal with that I deal with this and we deal with this. It has worked so far. Good luck mrsozzei