What do you do when your boyfriend/husband isn't romantic?

I go take a nice hot shower and make my shower massage do the walkin' for him. LOL. ;P You know what burns me up? My Hubby knows romantic - oh, yes he does. He never does anything even remotely romantic for me, and it stinks. Now, if I were a guy, I'd be thinking up every little thing that i could do for my woman that might make her life more bearable. MEN! Listen UP! Yes, you. Buy her favorite candy - get the right ones, not your favorite, but hers. Leave it In her favorite reading chair without a word. When she thanks you, just smile and tell her that she's worth it. Get her a gift certificate to a pool, or a spa. Do her chores for her without making a big deal of it - IE: do not gripe and groan or make any noise while doing it. Better yet, do it when she's out of the house. Do not tell her that you did it. Smile knowingly when she finds her chores done at the end of her long day. Offer to run her bath. Light incense and candles and add her favorite bubble bath to the water. Offer to scrub her back. Brush her hair for her (carefully!) and lovingly. Give her a foot soak and then a moisturizing foot massage. Carry her into the bedroom (if you can) and give her the full body massage that you wish you could have if you went to one of those "special" massage parlors. Don't skimp about it. Know what I mean? Open doors for her, make her dinner more than once a millennium, and don't bicker when she asks you to do something for her. Now that should create a much better atmosphere for romance. Men...have you been listening?!

Yes, I have the same problem. My fiance and I have been together for fours years and it's always been the same. If we go out we always go out with our friends. We don't really do the date thing. Every once and a while he'll surprise me but nothing romantic. For example he'll bring home something that he knows I like. I'm pretty content with the way things are though. I know that he loves me and that he thinks of me by doing the small things that he does. It's just not in his nature to be Fabio. I do have to admit that when he proposed to me it was romantic. He had put a lot of thought into it. He actually took me out that night, to a Chinese resturant. When I opened my fortune cookie I was very surprised. Inside it read "Will you marry me." that is really the only time he has ever done anything remotely romantic. I'm used to it now. I don't expect it, so when he does do something sweet, it makes it special. If your bound and determined that you absolutely have to be with someone who is romantic, you need to find it with someone else who is as romantic as you are. Pesonally, I don't think I could handle hearts and flowers all the time. All that lovey dovey stuff is quite repulsive at times. I used to want that kind of thing. Then I grew up and realized I needed to get my head out of those romance novels and stop watching movies like The Notebook.

Some men are really like that no matter how you want them to be more romantic. Trying to change them would only frustrate you more. This is one case wherein we also have to accept them for what they are. However, it is also important that you communicate to them what you want. They are not mind readers either and though it's nicer that they should have been the one to take the initiative to make some celebrations special, sometimes they just doesn't have it in them to do it and sweep you off your feet with thier antics. I remember woman once who wrote her frustrations about her husband because he just doesnt send flowers and chocolates as what other husband does. But her husband shows his love to her in different ways such as working hard, being a good listener and being supportive to her endeavors. There are many ways to ones love and being romantic is just one of them.

Oh giggles, I think if you love your boyfriend, you should reconcile yourself to accept him as being unromantic. You might like to take the initiative by planning a weekend sort of gate away. Renting a place or even surprised him with a romantic dinner. Gosh, giggles, I really can't give you much advise here. :)

I know what you mean. I guess there are lots of aspects in which we resemble somehow and this is one of them. Every girl wants her man to be romantic,if not always (as it's getting boring if they do it each and every day), at least from time to time. Sometimes I even imagine him doing romantic things and it seems so.... not-him. It's not that he's insensitive or something, it's just that he grew up in a totally different way than I did. Anyway, there are moments,days that I could never forget. He is sometimes romantic without wanting that. It just comes out. And now I know the secret: if you really want your special moments to be special, don't force them to come, just wait for them, they will come without letting you know. And then you'll truly feel what romance is. Like I said, he's never been the romantic type of man but when he feels the need to be that way, he really makes those moments unforgetable. He doesn't say "I love you" that much, in fact he bearly says it, but when I hear these three words (actually they are 2 in our language, as I told you) I get more than emotional. We don't go out too much either, and when we do, we go with our close friends, but anyway it's better than nothing, isn't it?:) I know you want HIM to do this, but if you really want special moments come up with interesting ideas,make him surprises. Anything that comes from the heart, will be well received by him. So good luck! I know you'll find a way! kisses, Roxana

My husband and I have been married for 7 years, for the first a few years he was more romantic than now since he would remember to buy me a present on Valentine's day and my birthday. But now he didn't bother, instead he just gave me a kiss and said Happy Valentine's day. And for my birtherday, he would ask what I want and pay for it without any surprise! Recently we start watching Desperate Housewife, I notice he learn some romantic gestrue and tips from the show. Now I realize sometimes watching sort of romance films will remind us our past romance and improve our ongoing relationship.

You are far from alone. My husband is not very romantic and dosnt really know how to be romantic. There are times that he surprises me and just walkes up to me and takes mein his arms and kisses me but that is not often at all. For Valentines we didnt do anything for eachother.

Romance is an art & everybody can't be a artist. As such all persons will not be romantic. The only way is to adjust ourselves with such people. Trying to change them will be risky.

I think I have the same problem just like you.My boyfriend is very funny,and when i am with him i always feel very happpy.However,sometimes he seems to be not romantic.For instance,he even didn't give a present last Chistmas.But, if he forget my birthday,I will not forgive him.

There are a lot of unromantic men in the world but we love them anyways. Some men need you to say what you want them to do, for them to do it. We're used to giving hints, or say NO when we actually means YES. And these guys don't have a clue! As we are from Venus and they are from Mars, we don't meet halfway. We view things differently and if you want to make them do what you want them to do, you just have to say it. Surprisingly, it works for them. But for us women, we really want the surprise factor, you know, them thinking of something special for us and expecting it whenever there's an occasion. Then we get angry at them when they don't fulfill and meet our expectations, or worse, when they forget, which is very often. The thing is to accept that we cannot change them. Try talking to your partner and tell him that you appreciate a romantic surprise every now and then. Also, surprise him with your own romantic plans and crazy ideas that will make him think of cooking up his own too. There's still hope, you just have to be patient and imaginative. Everything for love. :)

Some guys just have a knack on things like that and some just don't have it in their bones. lol! But if you really are big on it then i syggest you take the initiative and do romantic things for him and i am sure he will do the same to you, especially if sees you are all mushy about it and how important it is to you. Goodluck!

Sorry but I can't imagine a relationship where you "never go out on dates." There must be something wrong here. Perhaps you need temporary time away from each other. Maybe he's already taking you for granted. Let him miss you every now and then. I'm not saying go out and find a guy to make him jealous, just make yourself less available to him.

Then you become the romantic one. Prepare his favorite meals, tell him how lucky you are that you he chose you to share his life with him. Try and have a discussion about what his ideas of being romantic are and what your ideas of being romantic are. I think in most relationships one party or the other is the one who may be the planner, doer and/or romantic one. With some people it is hard for them to express their love because they didn't grow up in a home where love was expressed by doing little things for each other. As long as they were providing the money to run the home they were doing their duty. Also, some times they see shows on television that always protray men as not being romantic while the wife just gets upset because he isn't. That tends to teach a man how he is supposed to act or not act. He may not know that you would love to have him bring home a Boquet of flowers, or little box of candy once a week or month. He may not know that you would prefer to walk in the park, or take a drive on the ferry and look at the stars. You have to be able to let him know what pleases you and vice versa. Good luck.

Is romantic so important? Several years ago,I was always imagining the romantic things my boyfrind did for me, such as gave me a bunch of flower, walked on the sands along the seashore, had a big French dinner in a western restaurant. But now I think it is a romantic things if he can cook a meal for me, he can send me a glass of water with the medicine when I feel sick. This is the true love as well as the true life.

Love at first site will be harmony, but later it will be a lot of responsible. I am not a romantic person, I can speak as what I think, I can't speak sweet words or do romantic things to achieve girls, it is from my eyes contacting and clear mind to help them out be happier.

Oh yes I have that problem with my husband and I dont even care anymore. But I think that this happens when your relationship is getting old like mine. I dont know what to tell you but I really wouldnt worry about it. They always seem to come around. LOL

My husband and I have been together for 15 years and married for 12 of those. He has never been a romantic. Although, I wish he was. I think romance keeps the relationship spicy and meaningful. I am always the one who plans for romantic thing for us to enjoy together. He just doesn't seem to get into it and enjoy it like I do. I always try to keep our marriage on the upside and I try to keep him interested in me. there is 15 years difference in our ages and I think that may have alot to do with it. I like romance because it can give alot more passion in the bedroom, but I do not know what else to do either to get him more interested in it.

I think you should accept the fact that he is not romantic. As long as he loves you then that is okay. But you need also to tell him that you need to feel a little of his romance. But you cannot also force him because that is his own attitude.

I know how you feel...My boyfriend is NOT romantic and I have actually come to terms with that. We schedule something together once a month. And I also try to get my kids to sleep a littl eearlier so that we can have some alone time. Sometimes, I have to tell my boyfriend what it is I want. That can sometimes help your partner come outside of their shell. Maybe you should set up a play date and you can lead the evening!

I have this problem now with my current boyfriend but I have just starting to make my self believe that there is no such thing as romance, I had a romantic relationship once with my ex boyfriend, he did everything romantic a girl could wish for, but he cheated on me a few times so what does that say about romance? It's fake or it never lasts in a relationship, once a man knows that you are in love with them then they know they have got you wrapped around their finger! To them that means their is no need for romance and for most no need to take care of or look after them selfs properly.