How to deal with a possessive partner

I think that if he doesn't change asap than you need to get out. Many abusive partners try to cut off their partner's contact with their friends/family meaning they have to depend on their partner alone. You are only going to be miserable if you stay like this in the long-run, and unless he is willing to get professional help I'd advise you to leave.

This is dangerous behavior and a common warning sign of coming abuse. In fact no, this is abuse, mental abuse. You do not deserve this, you are worth more than this. All relationships are based on trust: he has shown you that he does not trust you, so why should you trust him to change? He has shown you what he is really like, it is time to do the same for him: show him that you are capable of being a strong, independent woman who knows what she's worth and get him out of your life! You are an adult, you are allowed to pick your friends and run your own life, and he is treating you like a misbehaving teenager. Get out now!

There is no question in my mind. I would never be with a guy like that. Trust is a very important component of any relationship, and he doesn't trust you. You're not his property, and he should never go through your mail, email, or messages. He will not change, as much as you wish he will, he won't. Cut your losses, and leave this guy. All you're looking at is an unhappy future. Don't do it. Those boots were made for walkin'!!

i was in your shoes few years back during my study. i got away because we never met after finishes studying and i did not try to contact him at all. it was a nightmare having a relationship with that kind of guy. i cried so much because of him. towards the end of the relationship, there was no more love, only hate and pity. if you love yourself, u have to let him go. he will never change. the only person that is right for him is a girl who likes to be owned, or a girl who never make a decision in her life. the last time i heard about that guy, he's married to a teacher and they are not living together because he has to work in a different country. lucky for her!

just now, i have just finished having a heart to heart talk with my boyfriend because we are also having problems. there were several times when i was ready to give up the relationship and him. but you know what, it all boils down to one thing. if you love that person... how much are you willing to give or to give up to be with this person? will you be a happier person with him or without him in your life? 2 hours ago, we were both crying because i opened up a lot of hurts i've been experiencing in our relationship lately. like your bf, he also made a lot of promises before that never materialized. and when he's about to make yet another promise, i stopped him and said, "i hate that word, honey. never make me a promise you can't keep. coz that hurts me more." i was about to let him go coz i couldn't go on being hurt anymore. but he just asked me one thing. he asked if i still love him. and i said "yes, i still do". i realized that whatever his faults were, i still love him. i guess we will be BOTH trying harder this time not to experience the hurts of the past. so, if i were in your shoes, i'd ask myself the same thing. will you be a happier person with him or without him? don't try to change people. people change when they want to, not when they are forced to. you've been together for quite some time now. there must be reasons why he does the things you say that makes him possessive. ask him why. ask him how you can both develop the trust for one another... without the need to be too possessive of the other. hope this helps. after all the crying we had earlier, my eyes are all fluffy and red... my nose too. but i'm happier now. because i chose to be happier with him in my life. it's all up to you. :) goodluck! hope everything will work out too. ;)

i know how you feel because i am in the same boat. i love this man to know end and he still comes over to see me and the kids. he gave another girl a promise ring and she is a grandmother. i donot know what to do either because i still love him and i do not want to push him away. at the same time i do not want to compete with the other women. mabye you should just move into anapartment or what ever and put some space between you and him. mabye that is what you two need is to be apart for awhile. well good luck and best wishes to the both of you.

Persuade, persuade, talk, listen, ask...Ask him why he is doing it. You said you are going on fine, but apparently, it is only on the surface. Deep within him, he seems to be feeling insecured. May be your actions can change his attitude but let me warn you, it is not going to be simple. Your threats of leaving him would not solve the problem nor is it a right way to handle the situation. The best is to have a free and frank discussion. This may help.

You have EXACTLY the same problem as i did a couple of years back. Like u said, initially it was all the feeling of lovey dovey and u tot that the signs of protectiveness was normal. I didnt realise that this protectiveness would turn out to be possessiveness. He would not trust me telling him who with and where i'm going to. not long after, i found out that he had been checking my sms and callers list. There's a whole lot more that i would like to list but too much. I confronted him and told him that if he wanted to look i would show him. there is no need to do it behind my back. One day i just broke down and told him that i cant take it anymore. I pointed out his insecurity. That got him real mad at me that I tot he was gonna hit me. I questioned abt his trust for me. I needed to know the reason y he didnt trust me. Perhaps you could ask him too. Or maybe you should reflect on yourself if you did anything that could lead him to place his doubts on you? I think u should give it one last good shot to settle this matter. It takes a lot of time and communication. I think you guys just havent really gotten to know one another as much as you thought. 6 years is a long time but being together doesnt always mean that you know one another well enough to communicate well. toking about how much u love one another all the time is child's play. I suggest that you take out some time for yourself and him to have a heart to heart talk. Stay composed. Open by letting him know what problem are that you are facing in this relationship and how you feel abt it, how its affecting your relationship and yourself blah blah. If he tries to interrupt, nicely tell him to hear you out first. After that ask him how he feels abt what you have said and if he has anything to add? I think its a good idea to let him know what you want. but i guess you have to be reasonable in your request as well. Try to work it out by toking abt the problems rather than walking away from it time and again. If both of you dun open yourself to one another then there is no point in continuing the relationship. Just know what you want and dun be afraid to let him know how you feel. Through experience I believe that "a promise is meant to be broken" so i suggest that you do never make unneccesary promises to anyone. anything can happen in life. Good luck.

If i were you, i would have left him already. Cause i'm all about freedom and not getting too attached. Seeing that he only treats you like a possesion that is an even stronger reason to dump him. Do it now as you are being suffocated in this relationship. Unless you have so much time to wait around for him to become the person you want, i say move on and find new guys who would appreaciate you and allow you more freedom.