Mom's In Black

I'm pretty much like astromama. Some members of the family think I'm being "weird" on purpose, but really this is what I think is best for my son. They still call me to tell him to spank him and get all his vaccinations. I think if parents make assumptions of your parenting skills based on their looks, they themselves are bad parents since they don't have an open mind. Maybe part of them questions who great they really are too.

I do. I am not even a mother quite yet (but due now, anyday!) and I have this problem with my family. I've always bounced around when it came to style.. bohemian, goth, punk, whatever. The thing is I have piercings and dye my hair, and look 'different' in the same way you do. My husband and I are just very alternative people... we are vegetarians, feminists, anti-war activists and so on. We eat organic, and have chosen to cloth diaper our baby, delay vaccinations, and co-sleep in addition to other things my family considers not 'normal'. I was told yesterday by my own mother that she thinks I do the things I do JUST to be different, which is ridiculous and dismissive. I think children benefit from exposure to all sorts of lifestyles and ways of being, and that there is no normal. Keep being who you are, dressing the way you do, and to hell with anyone who judges you. Teach your child that acceptance and tolerance are more important than fitting in, and I think one day he/she will be a much better person for it!

I haven't had this problem either, but I am 25 with no husband/boyfriend and that's always the first thing people assume, that my baby will grow up differently because I am not married. I do worry about dying my hair fun colors or dressing sexy that people will accuse me of not caring. Don't worry about what others say, you are a great mom no matter how you choose to dress. Your child will be more caring, open minded and strong because of who you are.

I haven't had exactly that problem. But, I had my two children out of wed lock. Not something I would suggest to anyone - but nevertheless it's what happened. I am now married but when I was dating my husband - his very religous parents stated that because my children were born outside of wedlock they would be unrulely and would grow up to do the same I did. It's terrible that people are so quick to judge people.