Children part of your marriage equation?

I was the onle who didn't want children. My fiance had told me he wanted them. However, he only thought he was "supposed" to have kids, and hadn't really thought about whether he really wanted any or not. It simply hadn't occured to him not to. So, now we're both vehemnt childfree advocates and we have no intention of ever reproducing. When we're older, we might open our home to teen-aged foster children, since they're always the least likely to be adopted or taken in.

That is definitely something you should be talking about before you get too serious. I definitely intend to have kids and that is very important to me. If I find out that someone I am interested in doesn't want kids, then I won't get as serious with them. I have heard about people not wanting to have kids of their own, but wanting to adopt. I guess it depends on the reason. I know someone who doesn't want to carry a second child because they said it was too hard with the first one. They are thinking of adopting instead. However, her husband doesn't want to adopt. I think that adopting is great, especially if you can't have children. There are definitely enough kids out there that need homes. I just don't really like the idea of adopting a baby just because you don't WANT to have one.

Well, for me, finding someone who doesn't want children would be perfect for me since I don't want any kids at all. I don't even want to adopt. I couldn't marry someone who wanted kids. It's something that would come between us down the line and end up in divorce.

I wouldn't marry her if she didn't want children. This is something I would have to find out early - way before talks about marriage occur. It's irresponsible not to find this stuff out early. I mean, even if she wanted to adopt - I want to carry on MY bloodlines.

It's a good thing for everyone to discuss children before getting married. If the other doesn't want children at all or wants to adopt while you want children of your own you are going to have to think alot about it. It wouldn't deter me from getting married if I truly loved the person and knew that I could live without having my own children. But for someone that feels they would have a hard time with that decision for the rest of their lives - they shouldn't marry as it will only bring stress. Me & my husband were on the same page luckily.