Is it wrong for me to ask for just one day off once or twice a month?

Yes, I think it is wrong for you to ASK for a day off. You should be able to take a day off with no explanation besides "I need a break!" There are days when all I do is the minimum required to keep my house from falling apart. This works for us because my husband doesn't expect me to be on top of everything all the time. Good luck. Maybe he'll see your side if you tell him how a day off once in a while for you will make it better for him in the long run.

I have had the same discussion with my family. I don't think some people realise how much housework there is when you have a few kids and a husband. One thing that frustrates me is you can do a heap of housework and half an hour later the kids have got it back to the way it was. I find it impossible to keep up with my family, I have a husband and 4 kids. I feel like I am always doing dishes, laundry, putting clothes away, cleaning the potty and cooking. Sometimes it would be nice to be able to take a day off, put my feet up and do something that I want to do.

It looks like he would give you a hand on some of the cleaning at least or change the baby's diper at least every once in a while but then again my ex told me doing dishes is a women's job so who am I to say.

I think you should take the whole weekend off and he should take up the slack. Obviously you don't like the way things are going and he should understand the way you feel. You really need to have a good talk with your husband before things get worst. Lloyd

I dont think it is unreasonable for you to ask.I am a SAHM and it is hard for me to get time for myself.Even harder now since my husabnd is deployed to New Mexico for 3 months.I have 2 kids a son that is almost 3 and a daughter that is 18 months.So they can be a handful.I think some men think when they are done with their jobs they come home and that is their time off.Well we women work 24 hours a day 365 days a year So when do we get to come home and say well I think I am going to relax todday my job is done?.Some husbands need to realize what us women go through and also that we work constantly as well as cleaning up after are husbands sometimes and taking care of the kids.My husband helps sometimes withe the dipaer but i figured by the time I argued with him about changing their diapers I myswell go and do it myself.I think that grandmas come in handy too if they dont work all the time.I think that you should have them days off to yourself and then some.Even if the rest of the days its for 1 hour of time for yourself to do something you would like to do.

i dont see in unreasonable at all. you deserve one day to yourself. he gets to have weekends to do nothing. we are moms and our job is never ending. we dont get weekends, and the least we can ask for is one lousy day a month. i completely see it from your point of view. i know that my husband thinks he can get away with doing absolutly nothing. i get so frustrated though. i wish he could really see what i actually do all day, everyday. he is under the impression that all i do is sit back and watch tv all day while my son runs around and entertains himself. or maybe he thinks that my son sleeps all day long while i do nothing. i think he forgets to take notice that the house doesnt clean itself, the laundry doesnt do itself, his hot food sitting on the table when he gets home from work didnt get there on its own, and that my son isnt learning how to do new things and speak new words just from thin air. the free time i get, is to go grocery shopping. i am 9 months pregnant and i still throw out the trash, do all the house work, i even do yard work. yet, he sees that my life is easy compared to his. yes, i appreciate everything that he does to earn money for a roof over our heads, but it would be nice to get a break a little more often. i only wish that i could get weekends off!

It sounds like your husband is a little selfish. If he is not going to help you, have you thought about hiring someone to help you do some of the cleaning. 3 kids is a tremendous responsibility and you definitely deserve a day off.

I take off from household chores whenever I feel the need. the way I see it, everyone can clean up after themselves except for the little ones. Most of the time I do the chores, but with having a 4 year old tornado it's hard to keep up ALL the time. My partner works very hard, but he pitches in to help out when he's up to it. I don't expect him to clean but that also means that I demand that he doesn't expect me to clean EVERY day. I'm his partner, not his caretaker. I certainly don't think it's too much to have some time off from cleaning. Everyone deserves a day to relax!

Being a stay at home mother in my opinion is the most back breaking, emotionally draining, and mind numbing work out there. It is worse then anything but it can be the most rewarding which I'm sure you know and it's why you do it. You work every day, all day long and most times with very little in the way of recognition. It can be very frustrating. Take a day off when you need it. If your husband and kids can't understand that you need a day then maybe you need to go on strike. I know it sounds strange but sometimes it really brings home to them just how much you do for them. Take a couple of days and don't do anything and let them see how quickly they really need you there. How the house falls a part. If need be go out for a full day with friends or other family members. Let them really see what it would be like if you weren't there to take care of them. It often does the trick. In the mean time though talk with the husband. Explain your side of things and get him to see that a day off for you is just as needed as his days off, if not more so since your work days are far longer then his.

that is no way to treat a wife. im lucky my husband helps with house chores. actually, he does almost everything. he says he does not want me getting tired. i just sleep all day but i help out sometimes too. i hope your husband sees your effort. good luck!

You should not ASK for a day off. You should HAVE it from time to time. Doing all the household chores and tending to three kids is not exactly a dream job. It tend to unnerved us all the time. As a matter of fact, I will suggest once a week day off so you can have the time to relax and refresh yourself. We all need it, kaeli. It is your right so you should NOT feel compelled to ask for one. All the best. :)

No it isn't, I usually choose Sundays to do nothing around the house, besides cooking a little bit, and a little cleaning stuff off the floor. But vaccuming, dishes and all wait until Monsay. I usually ask my husband to clean something up on that day if it is bothering me =) He use to give me a hard time about staying home all day and "relaxing", well we all know that a SAHM is busy ALL day long, not just 8-9 hours, all 24 of them she is on call for someone. So I asked him when my "day off" was and he realized that I don't actually have time off, so now he lets me leave the house (by myself) to do whatever I want to, usually on the weekends when he is home all day. Sometimes I will go to the movies, or just to the park by myself and read a book. It is nice, but when I get home the house is almost always trashed, dished pilled up, toys and clothes everywhere. But it is nice going somewhere without hearing "Mommy I have to go to the bathroom" and EVERY single store we go to =)

you shouldn't have asked.just tell him and do whatever you want to do. he'll have no choice but to obey. that's what i did if i want to take a break from housework. have a heart to heart discussion with your man and tell him you are working as weel. make him realize that a SAHM is just as tiring as other working wife.

It doesnt sound good to me, it looks to me as if your hubby doesnt have that much RESPECT for all the chores you do already. Maybe he is trying you out, just to see how much he can streches you out to do more than you already do. Ofcourse you dont have to take this from him. In a normal healthy relationship the other one will make sure the caretaker of the household can relax a bit also on days that he or she will be free from working duties. That looks normal to me. Ofcourse you can ask your hubby to do some chores. Maybe you just need to get around the table for good talk together, within you can make your wishes and he can tell his. Maybe that will clear up the tensions between you a tiny little bit.

you have every right to some you time. I am also a stay home mom and I know how you feel. What I have been doing lately is every 2 weeks I go and get my nails done. It is a half hour to an hour for just ME time. A chance to do something for myself considering I do things for everyone else the rest of the time.

That is completely reasonable . You are not asking much at all . You do have a job , your job is staying home , cleaning the house , cooking the meals and watching the baby . And any other things that need to be done in the run of the day . Just like in any other job you deserve to have a break . The only difference between your job and your husbands is that the pay is not quite the same . Without you around there would be a whole lot more for him to do . He can come home from his job and relax with some time to himself but you on the other time , never have time to yourself . You never leave your job as you are there all the time . So with all this said , you are definitely deserving of some time off . Take Care :)

I'm shocked when I read this. What is your husband? An old fashioned hill billy or something? I think YOU need to be more asserive. Do what my grandmother did. She went on strike! My grandfather had to do everything until he admitted that what she did was worthwile and not quite so easy. This included making 6 kids lunches, cleaning, cooking. Write out a list of what you do all day. You should aonly be working as much as him, no more and no less. He probably works 40 hours a week and you work 100 hours a week. Does this sound fair to you? It doesnt' to me. So my answer is you deserve a LOT more than one measly day off once or twice a month. I say, once a week. On Saturday or Sunday, you go out for the day and shop or see your friends, and have him stay home with the kids and have dinner ready. Why not? You both worked all week.

No its not unreasable to want a day off once in a while. The part that is unreasonable is you have to ask for help around the home. The fact that you are a stay home mom doesn't mean that all you should be allowed to do is cook and clean. If I were you I would remind him that you not only deserve a day off but its required...you need to have a break ever so often, it clears your mind, releives stress and after a day off from your normal routine you will feel refreshed. You mention your hubby works outside the home...I bet he gets days off.

Ugh that would make me so mad! Yes you DO deserve a day off, and I would say a lot more than once or twice a month! People with regular jobs have a specified starting and ending time, but parents (including working parents who come home to kids) are expected to be working 24/7!) Your husband should be helping you with the kids on the weekend. Stand up for your rights, woman!!!

You totally deserve the time off. I too am a SAHM and there is alot more pressure and energy wasted then when I worked full time at a high stress job. Of course, that's what I thought was high stress at the time. I would figure out how many hours you cook, sew, clean, do laundry, take after children, etc and calculate what it would cost him to hire a maid, a cook, a nanny, a landscaper, etc. Then ask him if it would make more sense to him to hire all these people, pay you for the work you do as if employed, or be given a day off every once and awhile. You deserve it!!!