Has this happened to you?
By RebeccaLynn
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
United States
March 31, 2007 7:53pm CST
You get a new friend request from someone who has few to no discussions and yet 30 to 40 friends on their list.
What is the deal?
I get this all the time.
When I get a new friend request I check the person out. I look at discussions they have started and replied to and form my decision based on that information.
So what is the deal with friend requests when the person has no discussions or replies and more than a handful of friends? Are we approving blindly?
And why are these people asking to be approved as your friend before they get a true feel for mylot and participate in a discussion?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@kjaonline (31)
• Philippines
3 Apr 07
Maybe they're just looking for friends and don't really feel the need to post..
When I first started myspace i added random people to my friends list hoping they'd care or whatever..
1 person likes this
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
3 Apr 07
Well, we DO care. Mylot is a place to make yourself heard...and people do care about what you think.
But I do think I am begining to understand. Maybe you don't want to put yourself out there until you feel a little more secure and being accepted to someone's friends list helps boost your confidence.
If I'm wrong, please tell me. But if I'm in the ball park, here is what I would like to do...
I see you are a (12). I will look for your discussions and reply to them - which will help earn you a little money and I'll request to be out on your friends list.
Welcome to MyLot!
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
2 Apr 07
I think you answered your own question albeit unwittingly. I think a lot of people new to this site simply don't understand it and don't know what to do. The only thing they see that means anything to them is to do with adding friends. They don't even get an avatar for a while....some never.
For some people too, having friends and lots of them is very very important and I think the people you described are these people.
I haven't experienced this but if I did I would contact them and offer help and suggestions.
keep smiling. :D
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
3 Apr 07
Now see! That is the reason that I asked this question, because people like you have a different perspective and it's usually a sunny one!
I had not thought about how important it is to some people to build an extensive friends list. I will take your advice and offer my help the next time this happens.
Thank you Ms Tickle!
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
1 Apr 07
I've had this happen a lot lately. Not sure why they do it but they do. I have gotten to where if I see they only have a handful of posts to just deny. I know that's horrible but when I'm getting upwards of 10 a day and from ones I don't recognize and have very little in their listings I have to wonder why they are bothering. Maybe they are looking to spam I don't know but I figure I want friends I will interact with not just have a list of. So I do not approve blindly. I check each one out. Some might sit for a while before I get to them as well. I'd rather do that and make sure that my friends list is a good one that will be one I will help support then to just have a bunch of names there.
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
1 Apr 07
I feel the same way about it.
Some I have denied and others I let sit until I see what they are about but for the most part it urks me to have someone try to build their friends list before they interact with the mylot community.
By the way, where have you been woman?
@kyran_12 (643)
• India
1 Apr 07
yea many time this happens but i dont think about it much ,,, i cant take evrything seriously may be thats the problem but then we should let it go ... its good rather to have more friends than having less....and i dont belive in good and bad friends..thats all kids stuff !!!!!!!! friends are friends no matter how and what they are....................cheers
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
1 Apr 07
It's not a matter of taking it too seriously or too lightly. The question is, why try to build a friends list before you even bother to post a discussion or a response to a discussion?
Is an extensive friends list more important than quality posts?
@25th_Stargazer (887)
• Philippines
1 Apr 07
The way I see it, denying friends' request is tantamount to rejecting a blessing. What I do is just accept anyone who wishes to be in my friends' list. One of the reasons I could think of why they do this is because they want you to take part in their discussions. This is one test if their offer of friendship is sincere or just for convenience.
This doubt was partly cleared one time when I saw a post about a myLot user who made a statement that she will delete all the people in her friends' list who are inactive or not replying to her discussions. It just made me smile.
MyLot should have a category for friends list. One for the real ones and one for "friends who are obliged to reply to my discussions". How about that?
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
3 Apr 07
I can't say it's because they want me to participate in their discussions because they have neither posted any discussions nor replied to any.
I don't delete anyone once I have accepted them as a friend but I do check them out before adding them. Once they are on my list I do try to respond to as many of their discussions as possible but I am cautious about who I add to my list.
But that's just me.
