Atheism and Marriage
By Tripod
@Tripod (105)
Philippines
April 1, 2007 12:00pm CST
So, I've considered myself an atheist for 5 years now. I'm 22 today and I'm contemplating on marriage really soon. My one major problem is my beliefs (or shall I say disbbeliefs) as an atheist and my family being predominantly christian. I know my family would want a traditional church wedding, eventhough it clashes with my sytem. In my family and fiances family we have nuns and priests in our bloodline.
So here's what I figured... Since I'm an atheist it wouldn't matter to me if I got married in a church or not, by doing so, it wouldn't necessarily incline me to change what I believe in. So church or not, I think I'm going to pursue it.
I'm curious to know what others would do in my situation? Would you legally get married in a church or government? If church, would you feel any less of yourself?
3 people like this
7 responses
@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
1 Apr 07
There's a much bigger issue at stake here though. How will you raise your children? If you haven't agreed on that yet, then do so before you get married otherwise you will be putting undue stress on your young marriage. As for where to get married...if it doesn't bother you to get married in a church, then you would be wise to compromise on this issue. You may, however, want to discuss your vows ahead of time so as to meet with your own personal belief system as much as possible.
@Tripod (105)
• Philippines
1 Apr 07
Well, I've got that planned out too. It's pretty similar to my marriage ideas in the sense that I will baptize my children due to outside pressure, again, this won't affect my system of beliefs. I will not be raising my children with any religious background, nor will I be obligated by my family to join religious ceremonies etc. My children will have to make their own choices, I'd be their guidance. I would give them reasonable and logical suggestions, but wouldn't incline them into being atheists themselves.
@iiartisanii (254)
• United States
27 Apr 07
I'm an atheist and I'd have no problem getting married in a church.
I think it might be the Christians who might have an issue with an atheist getting married in their church!
As long as its not a religious ceremony, does it matter the location?
@4monsters4me (2569)
• United States
23 Apr 07
I got married 7 years ago and although back then I considered myself a Christian I didn't want a church wedding. We wanted to go to the Justice of the Peace but our town didn't have one. So we got a preacher to do the ceremony (which was in his parents' house). I just glossed over all the religious stuff he said (it made my husband's family happy, though).
We are now both agnostic/atheist and have chosen to raise our kids religion free which is much easier then raising them with religion. God and Jesus is just never brought up in our house and we are all happy and healthy.
@BunGirl (2638)
• United States
3 Apr 07
My sister (who considers herself an agnostic) is facing the same decision. She is one of the few in our family who is not a Christian. The compromise she has made is that she is not getting married in a church, but there will be an ordained minister performing the ceremony. The ceremony itself will be performed in her fiancee's grandmothers back yard (her garden will make for a beautiful backdrop). As a Christian, I would think no less of her if she decided to go the legal route though. I don't think it matters who marries her and her future husband because they don't believe in God anyway. Why should they be married in a church if it's meaningless to them?
@Zmugzy (773)
•
24 Apr 07
I really don't think there is much of a clash as long as the church doesn't mind. There are many aspects of religious belief that have had a predominant effect on our culture, it's part of tradition etc. We still celebrate christmas but everyone knows the 25th of December was originally a pagan festival and had nothing to do with the birth of a man called Jesus.
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
1 Apr 07
I felt a lot like you when I married, my family pressured me into a big white church wedding that I really didn't want. Ok, so my marriage didn't last a lifetime and I am now divorced and with a lovely partner. We are both pagan, and feel that should we wish to *marry* it would be a handfasting in a stone circle with our family and friends with us. We could easily have a civil ceremony somewhere else to make it legal, but in all honestly I wouldn't want to have another church wedding.
