Do you think finances in a marriage are important to the relationship?

your attitude is not very good in my opinion. Spending money unecessarily is really bad but earning money is not a criteria for marriage. However it is true that one of the couple should earn. But if another is unable to earn then he/she should help in other respect. Sending a child to a day care may be for socialising the child as well as teaching them stay away in this way they are good while going to school so you should not be worried about other's affair. I don't find my surroundings perfect (however not so bad) for my child's growth and so I send him to day care although I'm not working. Rather I have convinced my hubby to do this. But I know many ladies who are not able to convince their husbands and then become jealous of others.

Well, I think that money (the lack of OR insufficiency of it) becomes an issue among married couples mainly because of how it's acquired and as to how it's being managed. If one of the couples is earning, I think it's best that there's a support system somehow (moral support if the other one didn't want to contribute monetarily by working). The lack of support brings about issues of the difficulty of acquiring money and the bad management of funds. It always takes two to tango. I think the couple should try to work things out among themselves before something worse happens. You know the people involved in this situation, which is perhaps the reason for your belief in having an ultimatum. I hope everything works out for the better. Happy myLotting!

I agree with you..I wouldnt stand for a man that was afraid to work a bit.. I have a good friend that way too..Her husband is just like you described.. Her reason for staying with him and letting him louse around is because the bible says "the woman should be subject to her husband" I think he plays on that ..and has basically made her a slave..she works he lazes around all day... She is sickly ..she has diabetes.. and other health problems..I pray and worry over what would happen to her if she should fall ill..he is too lazy and to proud to take just any job ..:(+

Yes they are one of the most important thing for marriage and relationship cause if you dont have fin then there are a lot of problem which get associated with it. No dought that if there is love and if there is understanding the couple will go ahead with it, but after all some where down the line there will alwas e problems for money matter and unhappyness

If they feel that is so fine, it is OK. It is up to their ideas. Just like you and me, I think I will not be a copmlete housewife. But others, maybe they know theirselves.

I think financial planning is essential in a healthy marriage. If the two can work out a do-able schedule that is agreed on by both for only one person to work, I say, "Go for it!" Once that agreement is made, though, the one who works shouldn't make the other one feel bad for not working. At my house, that would probably never be settled and would not work for us. That is mainly because of the jobs my husband and I both have and the fact that one of us would have a hard time supporting a family alone financially. To me, if I were the one working outside the house bringing in the paycheck, I would expect the other one would keep the house clean and do most of the chores around the house. If I stayed at home, I would feel guilty that I didn't make money, so it would just not be something I would want to do. Anyway, I guess if it works for them, that's all fine and good. For me, I definitely would not be happy if I worked outside the home and my husband sat on the couch and watched tv all day.

Well if they are happy with their set-up, then that is ok. But for me, I want my future husband and me to both have jobs. That is because nothing is cheap anymore. Yes, finances are important in a marriage, especially when you start having kids. Diapers, milk, and medicines are not cheap. And sending them to school would definitely cost a lot.

well in a way youre right..he must find a job..but i really dont know what were the agreement of the two.. if the wife agrees with the situation then we cant do anything else..its her choice i guess...

I think marriage is a 50/50 partnership. I think each of the partners should give all that he or she can. When I stayed home with children I considered it my job. I did all the cooking and cleaning and did not ask my husband for any help with it. His job was going to work and bringing home the money. I don't think people should get a divorce over it, I think they should talk it out and figure out what they want.

Ii strongly think that finance plays a major role in relationship.if u are poor woman wont look your face.what are u going to eat or put on is it just by looking at your spouse face saying to her each day that she is beautiful. she will insult u and leave the home.we need finance to be able to live confortable

I'm sorry but if one of them isn't working, then they'd sure as hell better be cleaning around the house or something. And whats with her sending her kids to daycare if she's not working and she's at home all day? To me that smacks of laziness! I couldn't send my kids to daycare if I wasn't working and they weren't in school. Before my kids started school, I had them at home and while there were a couple of chores that went not done for a day or two, I still made sure that most of them were done. If she has no reason to stay at home then yeah, I think I would be offering up an ultimatum too.

I think that money can be one of the biggest issues in a relationship. At the moment, i stay at home while my husband works. We have a 3 yr old son, but he is NOT is day care. I care for him. We go to playgroup and to the library, have picnics at the park etc. WE have recently moved, thats why I am out of the workforce. Personally I wouldsnt mind putting my son in day care one day a week so he can have the social side and I can do all the shopping, banking, all the running around that really a child doesnt want to be dragged to. I know people who are struggling money wise, and the girl is at home while the guy works, but while she is at home she spends most of her time on the internet.She is studying a course via correspondence, but hasd told me that she hasnt been doing it lately as she has beento busy chatting on the net. Her child is in day care 3 days a week. One thing about day care are the fees. If I was to go to work, half of my weekly wage would go straight to day care. ANyway i agree with you on the getting a job, especially if the children are in day care.

I don't necessarily agree or disagree. for one if the married couple have a understanding as to whom does what how when and where then there should be no problem... on the other hand a marriage is 50/50 a man and women should contribute equally to the household and to one another... other wise one starts to fill used and abused, but if their situation is there buy choice then by all means go for it if not then there is time for a change

i agree that the husband needs to do stuff around the house if the wife is out making the money to pay the bills, and also his sister, if she is sending the kids to day care why does she need to stay home? i agree she needs to find a job or stop sending the kids to day care so she can watch them while she's home. But i don't really agree with saying get a job or we're getting a divorce.. even though I am not married you need to work through your problems when you're married. you can't just quit and bail out. i think this is a problem our country faces, and it is becoming the norm. once there is a bump in a relationship, people bail. but they both need to help out definitely!!!

Equal contribution in a relationship is very important, now that contribution can be monetary or by taking care of other things which will of great help in a family.

I think that every marriage has its own arrangements. And so, in some, it may look from the outside like the arrangement makes no sense. I also think that in every relationship, both partners should contribute in some way to the household, either through working an outside job or keeping the home. (Or both, if both work outside the home).

i think it depends on the couple. I would not have a problem with my husband to be staying home if he was doing his part and that is the cooking and cleaning, and the children. however some people are ok with that. if these people are happy with there situation then more power to them. if they are not complaining is not going to help, it just makes the problem bigger. i think you are on the right track, but a ultimatum never works, they should sit down and talk about what their roles are. and make a list of what needs to be done by whom. a family should be ther to help each other out. no matter what...

It is up to the people involved. I do not work, I stay at home. My hubby goes out to work every day. As the saying goes, what goes on behind closed doors is no one elses' business. I was told before I moved to his country that I don't need or have to work. If he should need me to, then I would but it would only be part time. Course then I would have taxes in 2 countries to deal with. People don't get married to have an ultimatum thrown in their face. While I may not agree with the non working mom who sends their kids to daycare, it is her business. It is between her and her husband. Period. Do not judge till you have walked in their shoes. If your coworker doesn't like her husband staying at home while she works, then she should tell him so. I wouldn't be too thrilled being told to work just to pay for someone elses' bills. I have bills, but my online work pays for them. I am not a financial burden on anyone. How do you know what their situation really is? Finances are important in a relationship but that is usually covered when things get serious. It seems that a lot of people are living real close to the edge, almost beyond their means. That usually means that both people have to work. The kids are the ones to suffer. I guess I am old fashioned. All of the above is only my opinion and I don't mean to step on anyone's toes.

Jeepers! It must be nice! My hubby and I both work full time and we have a 14 month old and one on the way. I feel guilty if I don't have a hot meal to serve by 6:00 (I put the guilt on myself). My husband and I are exploring our options so I can stay home just to keep things running when we have this baby. One of these options includes me staying home to raise the babies/cook/clean, etc. AND work from home. I can't imagine sending my kids to a daycare while my husband works 2 jobs. Either they don't see it - or they don't care, but I bet one of those jobs is paying for just the childcare. My hearts desire is to stay home with my kids - I can't believe some of these people!!! Very intersting...

Everyone have their own role to play. For a marriage, I think the most important mutual agreement in every decision and action they do. Everyone might think that, oh she does not do any work, stays at home and she still sent the kids to day-care is lazy and irresposible person. But it might have a reason behind it. The wife might not able to stand kids running around and eventually have some mentally problem and blasted on the husband when he is back. The husband knew this serious condition and rather work two jobs to support the family because he loves them too much. And mind you, not everyone is sharing their family condition. If you ask me if the finance is important. The answer is definately yes. As someone said before, money is not everything but everything involves with money. Financial stable have the power to change the whole marriage. But it usually ends up how the couples actually think it. With less money, quarells usually invoke because of emotional constain. But it will also be able to tighten the relations between them if they are able to make it through. With more money, they might able to get what is needed and maybe some wanted stuff, but it never brought happiness if the parents just stuff money to the kids. Therefore, I think financial stable in a marriage is barely important if both parties don't get agreements from each other.