A friend in need

It depends, baby. I suffer from depression 95% of the time. It is only during that 5% would I reach out to help someone. You can't help another if you need help yourself.

I've been told I'm a good friend - always there when needed but also know when to leave a person alone or sometimes just to 'be there' and do nothing. There are so many different situations where friends are involved and it's mostly a matter of reading the individual and the particular situation. There really is no one way to respond to being a good friend. I had a friend one time who was having some health problems I called one day and just asked "what can I do for you" She proceeded to go down the list of cleaning chores she hadn't been able to do including cleaning her bathroom and changing her bed sheets. I went over and gladly did everything on her list. Weeks later she told me she had dozens of people offer help but I was the only one she felt comfortable asking to clean her toilet - we both got a good laugh over it. Several months later I had a bad problem with tendonitis and couldn't use my hands. That same friend called and asked what she could do. I said I needed my hair washed badly. She came over washed, dried, brushed and brushed my hair. She said that was the least she could do after I cleaned her toilet for her.

Mostly, my friends flatter me, and tell me I am a great help. I have needed help myself, and I know who my supports were. It is a humbling lesson. some people cannot face you when you have a problem, and they must flee. Some people become overburdened with everyone's problems. I am getting saturated, lately, mostly with my own distress. Sometimes it helps to relieve that stress when I can help someone else.

I do like to help friends in need, but only up to my own capabilities. I help only when i know i can help. If its family issues that friends are facing, there is only so much i can do. I normally just be a listening ear, and make them think positive thoughts. I have this ability to lead them onto a positive thought, sometimes by using negative scenarios. Most of my friends come to me for being a good listener. I also have people coming to me for money. Think these are the two most frequently seeked help. Of course some people look for you to help in running some errands, but I don't feel that as being a friend in need, even though I will help also. Seriously, there are only 2 type of problems in life that you will really need help. One is financial problems, which most of the time, if it becomes a problem, you won't be able solve it, if not it would not have happened. Another emotional problems, where most of the time you feel confused and cannot think straight. So Cheers to all

I like to think I am the sort of person who would help. Just in case you are a friend of mine who needs help of some kind. just contact me, identify yourself, tell me what is wrong, maybe I could help Kurt Biewald 6 ashford st. Allston, ma 02134 617 202 5234 kurtbiewald@gmail.com

When I think of a friend in need I think of what he/she might need from me and do my best to provide until there are no longer in need. Its a simple method. I stay in for a certain time however, you cant pay a bill twice if you know what I mean ;)

Sometimes I think before I act when helping a friend. It's always hard to know what is right for them. Some friends don't want to talk about their problem, or are too tired of phone calls from well meaning people. A while back, a friend of mine was very distressed about being harrased at work. I rang her a few times, and met her for coffee. She seemed to appreciate this support.

Oh I know what it is like to a. be dumped. b. be betrayed c. when a dog is down..kick him more.. but you know what? That won't change me..only I try now not to get myself in vulnerable positions as much as possible so I do not rely on any one. I am always there when others need me..but I try to keep myself away when I need something badly because I was rejected and ridiculed too much at my most weakest..I can't afford that again.

It's funny that you start this discussion right now. My best friend who was recently diagnosed with heart disease and was told she needed Open Heart Surgery. The Doctors told her they don't know how she's still alive. She refused point blank to undergo surgery till she's discussed all her options with her family. When she told me, initially I was in a state of shock. I'm not ready to face the fact that I may lose my best friend. I've since spent countless hours online researching different ways she could overcome this without the need for conventional Open heart Surgery, since she feels very strongly that her body could not take another huge surgery such as this. I hurt when my friends are hurting and anything I can do to help I will. But I usually ask them first if it's okay for me to help them where I can. With this friend I just told you about, I don't. We help each other without the need to ask first. We both know that any help the other can offer is so so appreciated.

Seems today I have many discussions with friends as topic lol. Anyway I have got something different to say on your discussion. I'm very good friends with people who know limits of each and every person . I turst many a times it's better to leave a person who is in need to realize what mistakes he/she has done. Always helping a friend as soon as he/she needs it is spoling her/his habbits. It's killing his/her fighting spirit . I wait and watch till my friend fight withthe problem his/her way. If she/he is then not able to get out of the problem then I come in scenario and give my best shot to help him/her. This may sound little weird but it's okay for me and works for me.

I am a very private person and when i am in need i try to hide it cause i believe my friends and family have enough on there plate without worrying about me. I know that is not the right way to be but i am. When it comes to being a true friend when a friend is in need yes i am right there to be of any help i can be. I have learned from experience that you cant jump in and fix things for them no matter how hard you try and most times the most valuable thing you can do for a friend in need is lend you ears let them use you for a sounding board and most times they can figure things out for themselves. They need that safty net just to be able to speak there feelings in their time of need without ridicule that is where the friend becomes important. When you start to question if you are doing enough that is when you go outside of your friend boundaries i find just do what feels right it is usually the right thing and usually is enough.

It depends on the situation we are in and the person who approaches me for help. It also depends on what kind of help they are looking forward for. I can lend my helping hand if that is not money, since i myself have some problems with my financial status. Other than money i will be ok for any kind of help. I'm selective in helping , i will choose carefully whom to help and whom not to, it's purely on my interests and situation i am in.

When it comes to my friend, a friend who is in need I am always ready to help if I can I am willing even in a small ways like listening to problems no matter what I am here for them. But sometimes like what you feel, I feel sometimes that the help, attention and love that I am giving is not enough. But I am not a friend who will suddenly left my friends that will never happen to my friends. But when it comes to my own problems if I can still solve it on my own I won't ask for any help because as much as possible I won't let my friends also suffer from my problems because I know they also have their own problems. If I really know what to do that's the time I call for comfort.

As much as possible I'm helping my friend to the point that I can. It may not that helpful in times but I tried my best to help him or her out with her problems even so if I can only help in small ways. I think of it as if i was in her shoes and what should I do about it. I'm not the type of jumping into someone's problem and feeling super hero that can solve their problems and yet in the end will do nothing about it. I don't think I'm one of those who disappear in times of my friends need, and being a nuisance.

If my Friends need me I am there, my need disappears, I can always go back to that when I have helped my Friend, I would never turn my back on any Friend and I would not put my needs before theirs. Anyone who does that is not a Friend Love and Hugs

I always try to help my friends. I even try to help strangers. I think If I am not being helpful, but being a bother, the friend should tell me so. I can not stand fair-weather friends that are only around when they need help, or disappear when you ask for help. That is a friend I would be without before too long.

A friend in need is a friend in deed. A friend who does not share his friend's sorrow with him, is not a true friend. A true friend always have faith on his friend. A person who behave good in front and think bad behind his friend is not a true friend. A true friend thinks his own sorrows as a small thing a thinks that his friend's sorrows are very big. A true friend tries to reduce hos friend's sorrows.

I am a faithful friend. I am there if a friend is in need. I let them know I am there for them, but I do not dive in head first as they may not want me there. I think it is best to let your friends know that you are willing to do all you can to help, but only at their request. You have to give people space to digest what may be going on in their life. Sometimes all people need is to know that they are not alone. BUT and I mean this is a big BUT, don't be someone that says they'll be there, but when the time comes, you're not. I will let my friends know I'm there if they need me, and if they do... I am REALLY there !!! There are many people that say " if you need anything...I'm here" yet when you give them a call.. guess what ?? They are no where to be found. I consider myself to be a very caring, faithful and loyal friend. I do however tend to keep my problems to myself and rarely ask anyone for help. I am just a very guarded person I guess. I have been burnt by people in the past, so now I just keep it to myself.

of course we all need somebody in times that we are down, there are friends that is only call you friend when they need you but leave you in times you needed them. we should be careful with this kind of friends.

BunnyCharms is sad. :-( I'm sad too. :-( Well, I think there is anything wrong in helping a friend even if he/she didn't wanted to. Because, at least, you've been there for him/her. It won't came the time when he/she would say you weren't there for me. I had times where my help and friendship was taken for granted. I'm a helping person by nature and it hurts really to be label as a nuisance. But I have learned to let the person feel I'm present, always there by his/her side, just a text or phone call away and I step back. Sometimes it hurts to see your friend struggling with their problems. But you also have to consider that he/she has also to help himself/herself out of it. Because any amount of genuine help and friendship wouldn't do if he/she doesn't want to get out of it. So I mean, don't blame it too much on yourself. If you know you are a good and genuine friend. Don't be sad. Maybe he/she didn't realize how a wonderful friend you are. And in time of your trials and hardships, don't be afraid to reach out. There you will see who your true friends are. It may hurts but it is good to know who are the ones, you can really lean on. And there is always Someone upthere ready to lend us His hand. I know I may sound a little bit "cliche" but everything happens for a reason and there are many blessings in disguise. Keep Faith my friend BunnyCharms! And everything will be allright. Take care! (^^,)