The Funeral Service
By speedy1279
@speedy1279 (2665)
United States
April 3, 2007 6:55am CST
As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave-side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends. The funeral was to be hled at at cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost, and being a typical man did not stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew, who were eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, but this ws the proper thing to do.
The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul. As I preached the workers began to say "Amen," "Praise the Lord," & "Glory," I preached, and I preached, like I'd never preached before: from Genesis all the way to Revelations.
I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my car. As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, "I ain't never seen anything like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
1 person likes this
5 responses
@alen0224 (527)
• China
3 Apr 07
Thanks for sharing your joke here, let's make mylot a forum full of laughters:
On reaching his plane seat, a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in the next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks," And get me a whisky you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.
When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls," And get me another whisky you idiot." Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with other whisky but still no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such slackness, the man tries the parrot's approach," I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you."
The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards.
Plunging downwards, the parrot turns to the man and says," For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"
@liveonlove (350)
• India
3 Apr 07
Nice one.
10. Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.
9. Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.
8. You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.
7. Right this minute you're laughing up pie on the carpet.
6. You decide to take a little nap and wake up in mid-July.
5. World's fattest man sends you a telegram, warning you to "back off!"
4. CBS tells you to lose weight or else.
3. Getting off your couch requires help from the fire department.
2. Every escalator you step on immediately grinds to a halt.
1. You're sweatin' gravy.
