A few short jokes!!!

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A Religious Story A priest and a pastor from the local churches are standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that reads: The End is Near! Turn Yourself Around Now - Before It's Too Late! As a car sped past them, the driver yelled, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. The priest turns to the pastor and asks, "Do you think the sign should just simply say 'Bridge Out'?" In the Fitting Room My girlfriend took her five year old daughter shopping with her. The little girl watched her mother try on outfit after outfit, exclaiming every time, "Mommy, you look beautiful." A woman in the next fitting room called out, "may I borrow you daughter for a moment?" For the Funny Bone The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo) is not just an athlete... she is now a nurse currently working at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answere the hospital telephones. It caused too much confusion whe she would answer the phone and say, "Picabo, ICU." For the older crowd An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remembere, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...." Two old guys at wal-mart Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The second old guy says, "That's OK, I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?" The second old guy says: "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big bust, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?" To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."