Part Three My Boyfriend.
By kitkat1
@kitkat1 (1227)
Canada
April 3, 2007 10:01am CST
I am about to tell my boyfriend i need sometime alone. I have a feeling he will get mad and that will be the end of everything. But if he gets mad and i back down and dont take the time i need am i letting him control me? We have discussed at great length the problems we have been having to know aveil and i no he could use the time alone as much as me. I really have to think things through about am i strong enough to get through all the stuff he puts me through because of his trust issues and by the same token he needs to think can i move on with this or not. Do you think i am wrong for wanting this time. I do no i dont want to live my life like that and it seems like the harder i try to make it better it just get worse. It seems to me anyway. What do you think mylotters.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@kathy77 (7486)
• Australia
3 Apr 07
Yes you would be letting him control you as you say that you want some time to yourself. Yes I think that both of you need time on your own to think whether or not the relationship can work out for the both of you and you really can't do this when you are still together and keep on arguing.
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@youdontsay (3497)
• United States
3 Apr 07
You have the right to time alone at any point in a relationships. Of couse both parties need to know the purpose of the time-out, so there is not added confusion. I don't know if you are living with your boyfriend or not. If you having time alone means he has to move out, that might take on greater issues - where will he go? will it cost him more money and are you willing to share that expense?
Any choice we make has consequences for others and it is important to be responsible in our choices to minimize the negative impact. But you can work out a time-out separation if you are both willing to try to salvage the relationship.
Try not to separate in anger. Good luck.
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@MissDylynne (87)
• United States
3 Apr 07
You know yourself better than anyone.
If you need time for yourself to rethink everything than by gosh, take it. It may actually prevent more serious problems in the future. My husband and I just got back together after being seperated for almost a year last June. I was in the same position as you with feeling controlled and to be honest...it was THE BEST thing we ever did. Our marriage is much more stable now and we are much closer. Some relationships, I feel, burn out because people get caught up in the co-dependancy and stop thinking for themselves. If you need time, take it. If you both have space and know you need each other...that it was all meant to be, if not, you are better off. Don't neglect how you feel or what you need.
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