Do you say ugly things during arguments with your spouse?

Its very human to lose temper during arguments. But every bad act can be made better. Human behaviour is very flexible and we do need self control over it. Its said that when ever you get angry, just relax and COUNT from 1 to 10. You will feel that you gain a control over yourself and are saved from saying and doing ugly things. TRY IT....!!

I used to be a very vicious arguer a few yrs ago...I'd have no problem opening up old wounds and throwing some nasty hurtful comments my hsubands way.....The reason I did it was because I had long ago trained myself to strike first and hard in order to protect myself....It was a survival instinct in me and I had the thought process of "I'm going to hurt you before you get a chance to hurt me"....doesnt make sense to ppl on the outside looking in so to speak but thats how I worked.....Luckily though a couple yrs ago i came into a new phase in life and I dont do it any more in fact my husband and I very rarely argue at all these days

I understand what you mean. I actually try never to get into arguments with anyone because I'm afraid of what I might say if I start. (And I really, really hate to apologize.) Thankfully, this has never happened with my spouse, but it has happened in the past with my sisters. THere are things that I have said years ago that still haunt me and while she forgives me - I don't forgive myself. Whoever said the whole sticks and stones thing didn't know what they were talking about.

You're far from the only person who does it lol. I think we all have at some point in our lives. I know I have and so has my partner. When you reach that point you totally forget what you were arguing about to start with, and if you recognize that point, you can work towards preventing it happening. So long as you apologized and your partner forgave you, it's time to bury it and move on. In the course of your relationship there will be odd occasions where you completely lose control, but heck, it's better to let your anger out rather than keep it in. Otherwise it'll fester and the result will be very ugly indeed.

No, you are definitely not the only person that does this. I am by far one of the worst people when it comes to saying things I don't mean. When I was arguing with my boyfriend I used to tell him he was worthless without me and he'll never achieve anything with his lack of motivation. I know I said some pretty hurtful things and although I meant some of them, I should have said them a different way and a different time. I think we all say things we don't mean at a time when are emotions are out of alignment. That's why I think it is best in some situations to just walk away from that person and talk to him/her once you both have calmed down. Therefore the conversation is a rational conversation.

Sure, I think it happens to most people. It happens. I have said nasty things in a fit of anger that I would never normally say to my husband and that I definatly didn't mean. Of course I felt terrible after, but all I could do is apologize and move on. My husband too is very forgiving and that makes me feel worse! But all in all this probably happens to pretty much everyone. It's just an honest mistake and if you apologize and it doesnt happen all the time i'd say no harm done.

no, i cannot say why this happens but it happens to us all, i think.you just get so made and all things you have thought of in time just want to come out. your lucky he understands, some guys would just so ,ok and leave if thats how you feel.

Sometimes i do say ugly things during arguements to my partner because i can control my self when i am angry.And i hope that someday i can control here.Do you have any suggestion how to control your self of saying ugly things during arguments..

My ex-husband used to argue and say the cruelest things to me. When it was all over he would say that of course he didn't mean those things. But that didn't make it hurt any less. I guess I learned from that experience. I never say anything to husband like that. We rarely argue about anything. We do have discussions, but I always make sure about what I say. It is just a really good lesson that I learned.

I dont say ugly things during arguments with my girlfriend because i do love my girlfriend and i dont want her to get hurt.I am just careful of what i say to her.But i am open to her.

I think all of us are guilty of saying things we don't necessarily mean in the heat of an argument. I know I have, and my hubby certainly has. It's at that point hat we totally forget what we were argueing about to begin with. The important thing is that you realize you do this, and can make an effort not to "take it to the next level." It's also good that your partner is forgiving and realizes that when things get heated we always don't mean what is said.

You are definitely not the only one that does this!! I do it more often than I should. I just get so upset and want my husband to understand how mad I am and he just blows things off and acts like they are no big deal, so I say something mean to get his attention. Definitely not a good thing but I have done it =) He is extremely understanding too though so he doesn't take it too personally. Just say you are sorry and try to control your temper next time, think about something nice he has done for you or gotten for you...focus on that and not the anger =)

We all do it. I used to do it more often as a teen than i do now. Just seeing my mom's or brothers pained expressions after I ran my mouth taught me a big lesson. I really try hard to watch my anger. It doesn't always work the way i want it to. But you did the right thing by apologizing. It takes a big person to say i'm sorry!

No you are not the only person to do so.I am quite short tempered and during arguments I also start abusing others and speak some bad words to other persons.But when I cool down after some times I really feel very sorry and wish that I have never spoken those words.In a fit of anger I loose control and start shouting whatever words comes in my mouth.I have tried many a times not to speak bad words or use abusive language but in vain.After the arguments I get so much mentally disturbed that I cannot do any work.I will just keep on thinking about the incident.I will feel as if I have no energy.

we say things that we dont really mean in the heat of the moment. As long as each other knows that the relationship will last and bridges can be built to overcome the next argumentative discussion. Have a nice day from Deeeky.

I believe we have all been guilty of this at one time or another . We all say things we regret later when we are upset or hurt and want the other perosn to understand . It was nice of your boyfriend to be forgiving as we should all understand where the other person is trying to come from and the reason the person was upset and said what they said :)

i am not yet married but i have seen couples argumenting and making use of slangs to each other, but i won't do it, as i find it really disgusting, and it also makes a seen in the society.

I'm usually the one that has to be wise enough to watch what I say because my husband has a temper and the yelling just isn't worth the problems. Yes it is easy to say things you don't mean when you're mad.

i never do say ugly things whenever i was fighting with my partners. i realy do not see any use in that. those ugly things that are usually said are very hard to take back after the fight is over. i did scream and screamed and screamed..lol but nevr said anything that i know will be carried on after the fighting.

No,you are not the only one.Many people can not control their emotions when they get angry.And i am one of them.But you are very lucky cuz your boyfriend is very forgiving.And i am not as lucky as you.My husband is very narrow-minded.We quarrel again and again,just because of some trifle. I really hate this kind of things.If couples can understand each other and compromise to each other,there will be less argument.