miscarriages - more common than i thought

This past January I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. Not only was it extremely painful during but I had lost too much blood.I didn't try to hide my miscarriage from anyone but it hurt alot for me to talk about it. I would constantly have family members bring it up to me.I think that some people need a chance to heal before they are able to discuss such a personal situation.

You're right, it's rarely talked about. But soooo many women have them! 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, and thats just the one's women know about. Many never even know theyre pregnant because they happen so early on. I remember learning also that 1 out of 5 pregnancies a woman has will end in a miscarriage (statistically). I had a miscarriage in Dec of 2005 at 10 weeks along. Even though the pregnancy wasn't planned, it still really hurt. It's hard to describe what it feels like to go through one, but it's terrible. You feel so alone, and the medical community treats you with ZERO compassion. Youre just a patient laying there, you have no humanity. They don't get it that youre sad either, they just focus on the fact that you're bleeding. And even that's not that compassionate, they expect you to just "suck it up" or something when it's hurting so bad. I want to slap them all in the face till this day, i wouldnt wish one on anyone, but if i did it'd be the medical "proffesionals" that saw me, because if anyone deserves to know what it feels like-they do. i'm sorry you went through it, but know you're not alone! I have recovered a lot and no longer feel that realyl sad pain when i think about it. i know it was probably for the best, as often miscarriages happen because of genetic defects and I know it was probably nature's way of helping. Thanks for bringing the topic up, I wish people would talk about it more!

I have never been pregnant. But I have 6 aunts, and 2 of them suffered a miscarriage. They went through such a hard time and completely blamed themselves. My great aunt also had a miscarriage, and I didn't know about it because she was so very sensitive about it. When people asked her how many children she had (I was told this since I was not alive when it happened) it took her over a year to say 3 instead of 4. She still visits the grave of the child, even though it has been decades a go. I have a cousin who is 33 right now, and she had two miscarriages, back to back. I don't know how she did it, but she pulled herself up with faith in God and help from her husband. She went on to have three beautiful girls. One of my favorite professors in college also suffered 2 miscarraiges. The first one happened in the first trimester, and they had already announced it. So the second time around, they waited until the second trimester to announce it. Not long after she miscarried again. She openly talks about it when she teaches her psychology classes. She presses on the need for understanding and better care in the medical community. She really strives to let the classes know that even though you don't understand, you need to honor their pain and act as though that person were your sister, or your wife, or your daughter... Happy note though. She does have two boys. The second miscarriage was between those two, and she went on to have no trouble with her second son.

Yes, I had three miscarriages and I suffered a lot. The very first one I was waiting for my baby very badly and my husband had many hopes for him/her. I now have two children, a girl, 19 and a boy, almost 15. If I would have the other three, I would have 5 now.

I don't think it's talked about that much either. I didn't tell my husband that I had one before I met him until we knew each other for awhile, it's just something that's hard to open up about. I did suffer and I went through a lot of guilt because I knew I wasn't ready for a baby and I was flipping out about being pregnant, then I lost the baby. I felt guilty that I didn't appreciate a life. I now have another child and I think about that baby a lot and worry about going through that again. I think it's hard because you never get to "meet" or hold the baby, it's hard to have closure when grieving for someone you haven't really seen.