Dun ask granny if you are not prepared!!

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In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you have been such a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you are a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes... I know you." Stunned, the lawyer did not know how to respond to that. Regaining his composure, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense lawyer?" She again replied, "Why, yes... I do. I have known Mr. Brown since he was a young lad too. He is lazy, bigoted and has a drinking problem. He cannot build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention... he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes... I know him." The defense attorney almost died! The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and in a very quiet voice, said, " If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll personally make sure you get sent to the electric chair!"