Sheesh, I'm adopted - not dying!

weird. maybe she knew somebody who didnt have a "happy" childhood with their adopted parents. or has heard too many horror stories about kids in foster homes. lol, dont let it get to you, if you were adopted and were raised in a happy, loving home, then kudos to you and your loving parents! you sound like a pretty well adjusted person...let her freak out...next time tell her you have leprosy and see what happens! ;)~

That certainly is a rather dramatic reaction. Especially considering you were 10 months old and the only parents that you remember are the ones that you have now. Perhaps this woman just didn't know how to react, so just did what she thought was compassionate. That's forgivable, but the annoying thing is that when you tried to explain to her that you were okay, she just wouldn't drop the issue. Now that, in my opinion, is really rude.

It is possible that she could have been adobted to and by a bad family where she was miss treated or maybe she gave a child up for adobtion and still can't deal with it,you never know when people react like that I genarally try to ask them why they feel so bad about it and hope that maybe they will be able to get it off there chest and feel better you ask questions to offer a hand if your able there are such horror stories of children who were adobted that it does tend to lead to a bad thought I am glad that you are proud of who you are but at the same time you really do need the information of your real parents as you have there genetics and you need to know that side of your medical history to tell doctors telling them what your adobted parents have does not help because you are not of there gene pull.I wish you luck in all that you do you sound like an incredible young lady.

That is crazy...it is funny how some people react...I guess she just felt sorry that you didn't know your real parents. I can see her point....

Ha ha ha, I had a good laugh. I can put myself into that lady's shoes and try to understand. Yes you are just adopted and you are certainly not dying. :P I think she just feel sympathetic that you have grown up without feeling the love and care of your real parents. The "correct" response will naturally be to ooze sympathy. But then again, she must not be experienced enough as a communicator. Unless there are recent incidents concerning this issue, I would want to think that you have probably got over this and have moved on in life. Cut her some slack, my friend. She's trying to be n-i-c-e. :P

It's unfortunate, but "adoption" seems to carry a stigma with it. You know, young girls that get "into trouble" adopt out their babies, etc. People don't seem to be able to grasp the fact that adoptive parents are PARENTS, period. Perhaps not biologically, but how much difference does that really make? Do they love you any less because they didn't conceive you? OF COURSE NOT! Some people just aren't able to be very open minded about it, and think all adoptive kids grow up wildly searching for their birth parents, and miserable and feeling unwanted. I have lots of friends that are adopted, and friends who have adopted - and all have wonderful, loving family environments and relationships. Don't let this woman get to you, she's clearly unable to grasp the concept that adoption can be a very happy, wonderful thing and isn't always brought about through something sordid. Your parents love you and wanted you so much they went through a long and tedious (and expensive) process to be able to have you, and have raised you to become an intelligent and well-adjusted adult - and that is cause for celebration! Ignore this chick - let her have her hang ups. They're her burden, not yours.

she must have thought you had missed out on something , she maybe doesn't know much about the world , I wasn't adopted but I was brought up to believe people who were were special at they were chosen and not just born into a family , I don't know your family at all pal but what I know of you I like , And you seem to me to have been brought up with a lot of love which has made you a very caring person xx

Well some People seem to think that it is a big Deal and I do not why You have a good Home, no doubt Parents that love you very much. Some People just seem to think it is a big Deal Hugs

Rugrat, I think she sounds like one of those people who never listens to the other side of a conversation and just goes off on her own little tangent. She gave you her opinions and had no regard for what you were saying or how you felt. I think with her, I'd just leave it at hello and goodbye. She doesn't sound like a lady who really knows how to have a conversation. I'll she's sort of one dimensional about a lot of other things too.

And by your personality I would think you were lovingly adopted..I don't want to repeat too much of what others have already said..but I feel strongly about the responsible biological parents that want something better for their newly born child than they can give..certainly there are those that are totally selfish and unable to see beyond their own needs and that's one situation..but there are also those who agonize over the decision for months but know it is the right thing for the child and they do what is in the child's best interest at the time...My daughter and son in law are trying to adopt right now..they have 2 birth children ( if they must be labeled) and want a 3rd but know there are so many already in the world that need loving homes..so we are awaiting a granddaughter who will be loved completely and have the same connections that the boys have...I applaud adoptive families..it is expensive, hard work and tedious...but what a wonderful result...a child to love and care for forever... I feel sorry for your neighbor and her misinformed ideas of adoption...I am a step parent ( and have probably only said that 25 times in my life as I see no reason to label my children) but I get a similar reaction..people will meet my daughter and comment on how much we look alike and act alike..and then if the conversation gets around to the "birthing" of the child...I always just say...It was so easy..almost like no labor at all!! I don't figure it's anyone's business...and in our house we don't have "steps" except on the porch and in the stairway!!!! Those that find out I am not her biological mother then turn the conversation around to ..oh..she's not your REAL daughter..which I take offense at..they will even change their facial expressions...like oh, poor you...stuck with a step child... I chock it up to ignorance...Our lovebond is very strong and if someday she were to want to find her biological mother I would support her 100%...it's about what she needs..not my ego..So I share with you...I'm a step-mother...not dying!!!

LOL her sympathy must be overflowing huh..:P there are really some people who would just automatically associate "bitter childhood" to being an adopted child. it could be that most stories she heard about adoption are those cases wherein the child was never treated by his foster parents as their own child, thus being deprived from the love and happiness one has to experience while growing up. :)

that is strange i really do not understand why she reacted that way. maybe she saw too many movies about poor kids that had been adopted and had a terrible childhood..i hope she will start realizing that there is also a different reality out there..not every thing is a melodrama..lol i know 2 people that were adopted, we grow up together, and they always knew they were adopted but had no feeling of a problem with this. they have wonderful families and had a very good childhood which does not differ from mine. so maybe you could change this ladie's opinion.. if she'll get to know you a little bit better maybe she will understand not all "movies" are the same..lol

Maybe her demeanor changed because in her mind she couldn't comprehend anyone giving you away, regardless if you have a problem or not, It may have been the best thing your bio parents ever done for you... I have a really good friend who's adopted as well, for many years she didn't bother to find her real folks, she didn't care who they were, but it seemed to matter to everyone else more than to her...she was quite content not knowing because she knew she came from a loving caring supportive family despite where she may have been born...I remember once her adoptive aunt said, "I cant imagine anyone giving up someone as precious as you"...it really ticked her off, and then I told her, thats why they gave you up for adoption, it was because you were too precious for them to keep... I think it comes down to the fact that children are "given" up when adopted, it just sounds bad for some reason to most folks...there should be another term, it made her feel unwanted or unloved, when that wasn't the case at all, she eventually went looking for her real family, and wasn't happy in the least at what she found, it caused more heartache finding them than not knowing and many times I heard her say she should have just left things the way they were... Unfortunately you will get reactions like this, they think its horrendous to aloud a child to be adopted because they would never do it, but how can one know that until they are placed in that position...What we see as one thing, others see completely different. Now my friend has no-good siblings hating her because she had a better life, and try to undermine her at every turn..she should have left things alone, but for most adopted children, they still want to know that piece that brought them into existence...

She's very ignorant. I have two adopted children and they are a wonderful gift to me and my husband. Their birth parents did a very unselfish thing by making an adoption plan for them. When they were babies people used to say how lucky they were, but we were really the lucky ones for having such two beautiful children. Good for you for speaking out about yourself. People really need to be educated. You sound like a great person and I bet your family is very proud of you.

Wow. What a strange reaction. I have several friends and acquaintances who were adopted and I've never thought of feeling "sympathetic" towards them. I'm happy that they grew up in homes where they were loved and cared for -- being a parent is not so much about giving birth as it is about giving a child a happy life, to the very best of one's abilities. You sound like you are fine with not knowing your birth parents and that's great. To each his or her own. Some feel compelled to search their whole lives for them and others prefer not to know. It's a deeply personal decision. Adoption is much more in the public eye now (courtesy of a multitude of celebrities, I suppose) than it used to be and people don't find it unusual in any way... at least not amongst those that I know. Not sure why that young lady felt the need to react so emotionally but, as others have said, perhaps there is some unknown situation that is framing her thoughts about adoption or the adoption process in general.

It's just highly probable that coming from her position (who knows her birth parents) that she just can't fathom not having them around. So when you told her that you didn't know your birth parents, maybe she assumes that you didn't have the same kind of upbringing as she did because you didn't have a bond like she did. Just a thought.

To me your adoptive parents are your real parents.They are the ones who took care of you.And they obviously raised you good.I know a few people who are adopted.I never knew for a long time but it doesn't matter anyway.Parent are parents no matter who they raise.My husband and I are going to look into adopting soon.This conversation has helped me make up my mind that I really do want to adopt.

I like your closing remark about not dying. I give your birth mother credit al the way. She was not able to take the responsibility of a child for whatever reason and your birth parents gave you the best start in life they could a family that was ready and wanting you. After the life I had as a child I would have been much better off to have been adopted. You handled yourself very well as it's unfortunate people just don't get the concept of giving children the best in life no matter what it takes...

Many people don't really know how to react to certain scenarios, and this is one of them. They think that being adopted is something terrible. Probably images of Oliver Twist comes into their minds when people say that they are adopted. While ignorance is hardly acceptable, these are not malicious people. They don't really mean to offend you and actually think that by sympathizing, they are being friendly and that they are showing that they care. The next time you encounter such people, try dropping subtle hints that you are not fishing for pity. If that doesn't work, try sending them on a guilt trip for making you feel bad! They wouldn't try that sympathy card on anyone else in a long time!

That IS a very strange reaction from her! I can't imagine why someone would think being adopted was such a horrid thing! Was she perhaps from some other country or culture where it is unheard of for children to be adopted by non-birth-family-members, or something like that??? Or perhaps she'd led such a sheltered life that she never even MET anyone who was adopted? Still, it just seems sort of RUDE to me!