How could HE?!?!

oh dear! I suppose as a friend you should respect his decision, maybe you could remind him how he felt when she dated his brother after 20 years of friendship you are allowed a little concern. However, do not put him an a situation where he feels he has to choose between his fiancee and his friends as you may loose his friendship. Take care not to cause havoc at the church unless you are in love with him, which I don't think you are but over-protective friends can be misread, please be careful. Good luck!

I think being open and honest to him about what you are thinking and feeling is vital here - perhaps he cannot see his ways of wrong and is blinded here which sounds like the case - I would tell him now be fore the wedding gets on the way - you do not want to be screaming at a wedding "STOP" it would be a mistake and he would resent you for doing so. Also you would look kind of weird. talk to him now and tell him what is happening - also do not attend the wedding either if it happens after you speak with him.

hmm.. do you love him or are you just jealous? i am just joking maildumpster. hoping to atleast cheer you up. anyway, you know him for 20 years and i guess you just look for what's good for him. and ending up with that kind of girl you find irritating. i hope he thought twice before marrying such a woman. and i hope he won't regret his decision, too. i haven't done such an act before and i've never been to a wedding ceremony where someone tried to stop a wedding. well, i hope you get some time to talk to your friend... atleast try to wake him up and enlighten him. there's still time for him to change his decision on this.

I haven't stopped a wedding or seen anyone do this but I can relate to what you are going through. A friend of mine met a guy online and he came to visit on a Friday and on Sunday she asked me if I would be her maid of honor at her wedding on Wednesday. I was honest with her and told her I did not approve of the marriage so I could not attend. I made sure to tell her that I would always be her friend but that there was no way I could sit through something I was totally against. She understood and we remained friends but she went through with the wedding. Two weeks after they were married and had moved to another state he beat her up breaking her nose and a rib. I never said I told you so but was there as a friend when she needed me. I am afraid there is no good way of stopping a friend but I believe being honest with them is the best for everyone. Good luck.

I think now is the time to tell him how you really feel about this madness. If he cannot see why you feel the way you do, then I wouldn't attend the Wedding. I think that going to the Wedding and stopping it would be a huge mistake and he will resent you for that more than anything else. All I can suggest if the Wedding does go ahead is to at least make sure he's clear on where you stand, and hope that it works. Once he's married you will not be able to butt in and tell him how to live his life. Just be there for him if he might need you.

While you have a right to feel bad about being left in the dark about a decision as big as a marriage, it could just be a sign that he wants to go and do his own thing without needing to discuss everything with you. You need to evaluate for yourself whether you have been stifling him in the name of being concerned about his welfare. Maybe he feels that he can look after his own welfare and make his own decisions. Also, in the case of this person that he has married, he probably figured that you would not approve, so he just went ahead and married her, thinking that you could be pacified once the marriage was over. Friendships and relationships are like sand that you hold in your fist. The harder you try to hold onto it, the faster it runs through your fingers. Give them space and room to expand and bloom, and don't stifle and suffocate it. All the best and god bless!

well he might be blinded by somthing, or he might have been hostaged by his love for the lady. :) you should really talk to the person. i know a few women who does not deserve a great guy.. but i guess guys are really lousy in terms of looking for the better woman. they dont know how to choose.. do they?

Come up with some kind of an excuse not to attend the wedding if you feel that way. If you do anything to stop the wedding you will live to regret it. It is your friend's decision not yours. There must be some reason he want to marry this person.

As much as you don't like the girl he is marrying I think you have to bite the bullet and let him go ahead with it. You would only hurt his feelings if you did something like that at his wedding....doesn't sound like she is worth ending a 20 year relationship over. My advice would be to attend the wedding, be supportive of your friend and be there for him if it all falls apart without ever saying "I told you so"...thats what a friend should do.

This is very hard when a friend marries someone you dont like or know in your heart the marriage is not going to last. That happened with my best friend. This is a personal choice that she made for her life. Good or bad . You know everyone has to learn everything the hard way. I think if he has chosen this girl for his wife then it will just cause a big hardship on your friendship with him if you tell him you dont think he should marry her . I would not say anything unless he asks you. They may not even get married. Either way he is going to do what he wants if you approve or not. It is going to be hard for you but you have already told him your feelings on her. I have never seen anyone stop a wedding and now that you mention it I wonder how often it really happens.

That's pretty strange if she's such a bad person. I guess the best thing to do would probably be to just sit down and have a long talk with him and just let him know how upset you are by it. Since you've been friends with him for such a long time, I think it would be ok to be open with him about it, and just let him know that it's because you care about him and want him to be happy, and that he deserves someone nicer. That way he knows you are doing it out of caring and not spite or something. Good luck!

Love is blind so they say...sadly there isnt too much you can do except talk to him

I think what you need to do is take a really deep breath before you do anything drastic. If you want to preserve your friendship with this person, you may want to just try being loving and supportive and let him do what he wants to do. If you object to their marrying at the ceremony, you will only make a fool out of yourself and ruin a twenty year relationship. I do wonder though if you don't have stronger feelings for this guy more than friendship. Is this the reason why you want to stop it?

see. when he has no problem i think its ok ...but as a best friend you ...should first find out and go to the depth of this matter ...try finding out is he forced to marry ...try speaking to the girl and what is on her mind ...does she really deserve your pal ??? then take any step after finding post your response lets see ...want can can be done ..dont worry ..

Just let him know that what he chose will be regret some day, and other uncalled-for words is not necessary.

Yes I understand what you saying .I suppose an outsider looking in can see this girl for her ture colours.Unfortunately I dont think there is much you can do.He obviously sees her in a different light.I guess you will just have to hope for the best.Im sure what you know about this girl is true.I guess he is goin to have to learn from his mistakes.

Its been my experiance that people are going to do what they want and the only thing you can do is be there pick up the pieces if and when things fall apart. Right now he's looking at things through tinted glasses and can only see what he wants to see. These kind of situations usually take a while for reality to set in. And if you push him to hard, you will only push him away so be carful how you handle the situation. Good luck!!

First off, are you jealous? are you inlove with your bestfriend? Well if not, if you're just so concern about his well being, have you told him about her dating his twin brother? If you did and he still want to marry her then i guess there's nothing we can do. He chose to be with her for better or worse so he's gonna live with all the consequences afterwards. Just be happy for him. I haven't seen anyone stopped a wedding before. It only happens in movies.

Maybe your best friend has his own reason to marry with that woman. I think you should talk about your feeling and your thought about this issue directly. If he insists on his wedding, you should bless them. After all, this is your friend's life, not yours. By the way, are you falling in love with your friends?

I think he probably kept it from you because he knew you disliked her. That shows that he really cares about what you think and doesn't want to make you feel distraught. It sounds like you have a wonderful friendship with him. Although you may not like the bride, you can feel happy for your friend getting married. This is his big moment, he's incredibly happy and I think he wants you to feel happy for him as well. I understand it's hard to see him marry someone that seems unfit for him. I hope you don't concentrate on the bride but more on the bond that the two share. There's definitely something about her that makes him want to marry her. I hope you feel better and don't forget that he'll always be your best friend.