Wanting another child so badly

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I had some complications during my pregnancy with my firstborn, and he ended up being born six weeks premature. My second pregnancy had to be ended (via surgery) very early on, as it turned out to be ectopic. I have just one fallopian tube now, since they had to remove the affected one during my surgery. Also, my boyfriend has his mind set on having no desire to have another child, ever. Not to mention the fact that we probably would be able to afford another child at this time in our lives. Despite all of these facts, I still want another child. I want to feel what it's like to be pregnant again. I want to hold my own newborn in my arms. It's only been about five months since I lost my second pregnancy, so perhaps these feelings are just my way of mourning my lost child. Or perhaps it's because I would still be pregnant right now if the pregnancy hadn't been ectopic. I was due in mid-July this year. It doesn't help that a very close friend of mine just gave birth less than a week ago. Don't get me wrong, I'm SO happy for her, I really am. However, I just feel cheated in a way. OK, this was originally going to be about wanting another child, and now it's just turned into a pity-me post about losing my child. I'm sorry. But sometimes writing (typing) it out helps. Thanks for taking the time to read this.