how can i change myself ?

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I graduate last year, in july, and now i have a boyfriend, he is 5 years older than me. in fact my mother do not hope that we stay together,because he do not have much money, and she do not hope that i live in a hard life. And i know all about that, but can not image my life without him. i am used to stay with him, he love me very much too,so i decide we have to face all the problems together. But sometimes, i can not control myself, i usually angry with him, keep silent, but deeply in my heart, i do not want to hurt him, but i do that usually, what should i do? I love him but why i always hurt him, i do not want to do this any more.