if you have to how do you you punish your child?

If they're doing something really bad, I threaten with a spanking but they rarely ever get one. If they're just being annoying, they're usually sent to their room or given a time out. If they've done something that would warrant a spanking, I try to explain why it was so bad and why they shouldn't do it again. I try to teach them with empathy rather than just because I said so.

the first thing is too usually send her to her room...then when everyone has calmed down we will talk about what happened and decide on how long she will be grounded for...

No never. I shout at my son many times and he is very afraid of me when i stare at him. I think it is not fare to beat children.