When was it in Life that you thought you totally lost all hopes to live ???

I have always been a little on the "depressed" side. I had a really bad childhood and my parents weren't very good at being parents. I was raped when I was 13 years old and could tell no one. I told my sister and she called me a wh@re. I didn't know what to do with myself, being 13, so I tried to take a bunch of pills. It really didn't work, I ended up throwing up, and needless to say I am still here. I normally don't talk about this to anyone, but you caught me on a strange day I guess. I'm glad it didn't work, because now I am married to an awesome man, without whom I would probably still be depressed. I have 2 beautiful little boys and my own "family" now is one I had always dreamed about.

i think i was lil more than 17 and i used to get allergic asthma attacks every 15 days and all the time i was sick only ,i had my +2 exams and i had no hopes with that and when result time was around i was down and out and very close to taking my life ,i had been good student before that and i was not able to take bad results ,i think god saved me and i got 77% marks which is not great but saved my face and life,lol dear

Maybe it will sound strange, but I never had such moment...coz am incurable optimist. Thanks God u didn't made a big mistake then...u would leave your family in deep pain...and question - for what??? We must keep good thoughts all time, samrat.

the first time that i ever thaught of killing myself is last week. we are going through a lot at work right now. i have an ex that will not leave me alone. he comes over when he wants something and then goes to his so called girlfriend that he says he does not have. i have a man that i love to go out with and he came over to get what he wants and then he goes home the next morning. i asked him when will i see him agian and he said he did not know when i would see him agian he said that he does not know when because he is sopsaly seeing someone and everything els. i was so mad and upset at myself that i just wanted to end my life so much that it took my best friend had to come over and sit with me and watch me so i would not do anything to myself.

i think i realy lost hope to live when my persentage droped by 5% during in the 9th grade i hated it. as i always wanted to increase my persentage before the icse exams. i always wanted to become a very good student in any circumstances. so that i could become a big man in the future but God had different ideas for me. realy did u do that. i never hoped u thought like that hope u have seen munna bhai.

I was also cheated on. A guy who was younger than me liked me so I went out with him. Apparently, he liked every girl so he cheated on me. He denied it, but Ic ould tell he cheated by the way he treated me. I was depressed for months. I thought no one else would date me sinc eI was the ugly one of my school. Months later, I got engaged and a few years after I am getting ready to get married.

In regards to my life when I thought that I would not go on was when I had my third son, during the delivery of him and at the hospital they nearly lost not only me but my son as well. It was really dreadful and I stayed in intensive care for 3 days and they never knew if I was going to recover or not, and when I came back to them they all cried as they knew me for many years before that.

Life, is such an important gift of GOD. Imagine what life is, what all it gave, parents, family,friends, hopes, dreams, everything and what all it can take. Well, I am a very sensitive person, so whenever I am hurt I really feel bad and its not tough for me to think that this is the end. But its okay. I mean everyone feels that way, isnt it? I also feel, whenever I make a big mistake, or whenever I hurt someone or when I want something I cannot get or achieve and specially when I am misunderstood.

i am not even sure if if i should tell this anyway since so many people shared their experience i may tell as well....i felt really hopeless when the guy whom i had a major crush on got married! i was depressed for so long i was 17 at that time so i didnot tell him my love b'cos he was from a different religion so i always fantaised that if we both to be togther then we got to 'run away' from home so i was busy waiting to be 18 so no one 'separate' us and the next thing i know he is getting married! LOL now when i think of it i laugh but at that time i was depressed enough to commit sucide! Anyway my friends talked me out of it :)

I can say many times I felt like this. Even now today I feel like that because of everything that is going on in my life I feel like running and not looking back.

Right now i am in the same situation of losing hopes to live. Being cheated by my close friends and my love. I am now waiting for my H1B visa to USA for the past 1 and half years and i don't have a clear idea why they have withheld my application, i am not supposed to contact them for any information on this. I am unable to get a job here though i have some experience working earlier. Its really hard for me to get a job and see my parents happy, on the other hand my visa is a big problem and i am running into huge debts. My parents they have their own problems and they are expecting me to settle down and help them which is not that easy as i am in such kind of situation. With all the troubles i feel like my life is waste and i do think what purpose i am still living. I question myself 1000 times a day but i don't have an answer for that. I can't die cause this is not my own life there are many people who are living for me. I have no clue where my life is heading but all i know is i am in depression.

my name is ai hongfei

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