Do you have common courtesy?
By misheleen73
@misheleen73 (6037)
United States
April 5, 2007 10:32am CST
When walking into a store, do you hold the door for someone behind you or do you let it go in their face? Do you say "excuse me" when reaching in front of someone or trying to perhaps pass them to get where you are going? DO you say "thank you" if someone holds a door for you or lets you pass by? Do you hold the elevator if you see someone running to catch it? These things were taught to me along with other things when I was growing up. My boys 9 & 7 will actually hold me up by holding the door at the store for others. I have taught them to respect others & to be courteous. I don't know how many times I have had the door at the store just swing back in my face, or people just push past me without even a glance. Or ignore me and not even thank me for holding a door for them. When my boys do it, I have heard many times, "wow, your boys are so sweet" etc. "it is so hard to find kids today that will hold a door" and so on. So be honest here, do you do these things, or does life have you in such a rush or self centered world, that it doesn't even cross your mind? I am writing this discussion, because I went to the doctor today, for yet more blood tests and an EKG. On my way into the doctors office, I had the door slammed in my face by a girl maybe 16 or 17. I was flabbergasted to say the least. Then on my way out, I held the door for a woman on her way in, she didn't even look at me. It happens every day, and I want to know, "is it me? or is the world becoming a less courteous place to live in?"
12 people like this
46 responses
@samrat16 (2442)
• India
5 Apr 07
I'm a very decent man. In our language there are two words which I'm used of speaking a lot they are , " Haanji and Ji " Two words in hindi , my national means giving respect like we use mr. in front of a person to give him respect , like we use madam and sir .I trust in giving respect as I demand respect too. Very simple theory of mine, I don't misbehave with anybody and expect the same from them . I like to give my seat to women and elder people when travelling in bus and train. I like to help them cross roads. I turst people like me will win every battle of life with god standing beside us.
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
5 Apr 07
I can only hope people like you will win the battle in the end. It is starting to look a little hopeless from where I stand.
2 people like this
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
6 Apr 07
I have common courtesy.
It was ingrained into my by my parents as I grew up, and now I've taught the same things to my children. They are polite, well mannered and they will always say please and thank you. They will hold the door for someone behind them too.
I have found a lot of times though that if they hold the door, people tend to walk past them without even acknowledging that they're there. I find that downright rude.
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
6 Apr 07
it is rude, and exactly what I am talking about... where did all the courtesy go ?
1 person likes this
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
7 Apr 07
I do not mind to be courteous in thes matters as it is an easy thing to do, but other people will appreciate on these small things. It is much better to act politely, just a simple thank you or excuse me do not cost you much. If you are courteous and respect other people,they will do the same to you.
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
7 Apr 07
I feel the same way. I tell everyone, even my bosses, if you respect me I shall surely respect you.
1 person likes this
@houdini16409 (192)
• United States
6 Apr 07
I always try to have common curtosy when I am out in public. I will open doors, say excuse me, and thank you to employees at the store. But I am also the type of person who will open my mouth to people who are rude. Sorry, but I do not take crap from people who are disrespectful for no reason. There is nothing worse than people who are just down right rude for no reason. I hate that. There is so many times I thought I was going to get my butt kicked for speaking up, but I don't care. People just need to learn to have a little respect. Just because they are having a bad day, doesn't mean I need to have one too. Just my opinion though.
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
6 Apr 07
I feel the same way. Even when I am having a bad day, I can always seem to muster common courtesy.
1 person likes this
@coachflaps (683)
• United States
6 Apr 07
I always try to be courteous to others and try to instill that same courtesy into my children. Sometimes a small act of kindness is all it takes to make someones day a little better.
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
6 Apr 07
I think the same thing. sometimes an act of kindness can bring a smile to someone's face even if they are having a bad day.
2 people like this
@greengal (4286)
• United States
5 Apr 07
You aren't alone dear, half the world is very uncourteous and the other half is still learning. I have good manners too and it is nice to be courteous. I too hold doors for other people, say a thank you with a quick smile and excuse me when passing people. Even sorry when I'm in their way especially in aisles in grocery stores. I'm glad you've taught your boys that, I'm sure the people around them will be grateful all through their lives. :)
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
5 Apr 07
I hope that more people are teaching their children as well. Thanks !! :)
@CaroleeKaufold (1853)
• United States
5 Apr 07
owo what a great question. My husband has this question on his mind all the time. When ever we are in the stores someone always steps in front of him when he is looking on a shelve.As a Monorail driver he has guest that push their way to the front to ride with the driver. This can only be by invitation, and some guests get really rude.
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
5 Apr 07
How can anyone be rude in Disney World ?? I always felt that was the happiest place on earth !!! That just goes to show how bad the world is getting. I used to live in South Florida, and whenever we visited Disney, I always felt like it was a different world, everyone standing in long, hot lines, yet no complaining or fighting or rudeness. It really is a shame to find out it's happening there too !!!
1 person likes this
@Galena (9110)
•
5 Apr 07
yes I do.
and it really makes me angry at the way some people don't even look at you when you hold the door for them. a smile or a thank you would be nice.
if I'm in a bad mood I shout "you're welcome" after them. when really what I want to do is slam the door in their face for being so rude.
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
5 Apr 07
lol... I have on occasion shouted from my car. When you let someone out in front of you into traffic and they just speed off without even a glance or smile. I hate it when you are sitting at a gas station exit and cars just pull in front of the exit to sit at a red light without even letting you out !!!
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
5 Apr 07
Yes, courtesy seems to be disappearing a bit in this world. That is not to say that it cannot be found though. There are exceptions everywhere and I do try to set a good example myself.
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
5 Apr 07
yes, as I could tell from your "controversial" discussion...lol
@daycarepal (1998)
• United States
5 Apr 07
Yep I have common courtesy. I am always saying...thank you, excuse me, etc. It just comes naturally, I don't even think about it. I've taught my children to be the same way. It doesn't take much effort to be courteous to others around us. It's a shame that not all people are that way!
I remember being in a store and a lady just pushed in front of me very rudely. I blurted out....excuse you! Seems a little funny now but at the time I could't believe that came out of my mouth! LOL. The woman didn't respond and I felt like the rude one for saying it.
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
5 Apr 07
nope.. you weren't the rude one, she was.. she didn't say anything because she felt shamed and knew what she did was WRONG !!!!
1 person likes this
@eyewitness (1575)
• Netherlands
5 Apr 07
I will hold the door for everyone.Even though i don't like the person.My parents always tought me to be gentle even though others are not.They always used to say to my parents you have nice mannered children.They still say it at work too.I'm glad.
I can see old people who are afraid of youth and i'm ashamed to be youth because of those youtwho do not show any respect.
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
5 Apr 07
I am happy to hear you are a kind, courteous young person. There are way too many now that are very self centered.
1 person likes this
@lightningMD (5931)
• United States
5 Apr 07
i always hold the door for people..say excuse me and please and thank-you..i always smile at people too..its amazing how many people look surprised then actually smile back...we try to instill good manners in our daughter too...hopefully she uses them when we are not around her too...
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
5 Apr 07
I am pleased to hear you are teaching your daughter as well... Thanks for being courteous !!
@kawaiijamichan (773)
• Philippines
5 Apr 07
yes, I do have my courtesy. I do those things for people, like what you have said, will hold the door for those who will come in and in elevators. It is sad to say that some are people were less courtesy this days. It also happened to me at the restaurant I'm on my way walking in when a man open the door and walk in and did not even bother to look his back to see if theres someone behind him that will come in too. It almost hit my face when the door slammed, I was like "that was close" but then I didn't want to argue so i just let it pass and thought of somehow i hope that he will come to his senses that he is losing his courtesy.
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
5 Apr 07
Sadly, he won't realize anything. He is probably one of the self centered individuals to caught up in themselves to notice or care.
@thrwbckjay67 (2870)
• United States
5 Apr 07
It really is becoming a less courteous place to live.
I was always taught to hold the door open for people, I was also always taught to say thank you when someone does it for me. I will always wait a reasonable amount of time when holding the door open for people. I also usually take the time to hold a door open when someone with a cart or a stroller is coming through... it's just common courtesy.
Same thing with the elevator. If I see someone is making a mad dash to catch it, I will press the "Door Open" button until they are able to board the elevator. What's it to me to wait a few extra seconds so that someone else doesn't have to wait a few minutes...
I commute to work everyday, and I regularly get up from my seat on the bus to offer it to elderly people or to ladies in general to have a seat on a crowded bus. I also hold the door open at the train station, much to the surprise of some of the people who I hold it for. I rarely get a thank you or even an approving glance, but I'll continue to do it... it's how I was raised.
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
5 Apr 07
I was raised the same way ( one of the things my Grandmother taught me) and I continue to do it as well. Hopefully there are more people in this world like us !!
1 person likes this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
8 Apr 07
I have experienced all those incidents you have mentioned and I believe it is not just your country because it happens here in Singapore too. Personally I try to practise courtesy because who knows, someone may feel good and also start doing it. Having doors slammed in my face, getting my foot stepped on without an apology, cutting queue in front of me when they did not even join the queue in the first place, coughing and sneezing into my face without saying 'excuse me' etc.. the list goes on. It's a shame and I also wonder about the increasing degeneration of values in our society.
1 person likes this
@asish1672 (338)
• United Arab Emirates
8 Apr 07
I am just like you. I don't know, who taught me, but, since childhood I am very courteous to others irrespective of their social standing. I always addressed a bus driver or conductor with respect, given seating preference to elders and ladies in train or bus, opened or held the door for others and so on. I feel the kids learn a lot by observing their parents. So they automatically grab the practices of their parents. As I told you, I dont remember anyone teaching it to me. Maybe it was in my blood!
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
8 Apr 07
must have been in the blood line...lol
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
6 Apr 07
To your first question, I do hold the door if someone is behind me.
To your second question, I do say 'excuse me'.
to your third question, I do say 'thank you'.
To your last question, I do hold the elevator if I know someone is running to catch it.
Does it mean I have common courtesy :P
I would think the above mentioned are basic courtesy in life. I do agree there are some who are more self-centered, and the only excuse I can find for them is that they are 'shy' to say those words. However, in general, I would think the world is still a courteous place to live in, as it is the minority who forgets their courtesies.
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
6 Apr 07
I wish I could see it as a minority, but it seems every where I go, people have forgotten.
@noeltotherescue (261)
• India
6 Apr 07
no, its not just you dear! the world doesnt appreciate courtesy anymore... people are always in a rush to get things done that they dont stop to think about other and they dont stop to do anything good for others..
my parents were good ones... they are not the ones who taught me to be courteous... instead they sent me to a boarding school where i was taught to be so!
whenever people do even the slightest things like passing me a dress in a clothes shop, i thank them! and they turn and loook at me suprised and they smile!
even people who dont know me at all, smile at me when they hear me say "sorry" or "thank you".
i guess it does make a BIG difference nowadays!
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
6 Apr 07
in a world where courtesy is in a decline, I'm sure they are shocked and pleasantly surprised !!
@DeaXyza (577)
• United States
6 Apr 07
Yes sir/ma'm to everyone older, Thanks you, Excuse me, Sorry and Please these are things I often use something I learned as I was growing up maybe I learnt the manners 'cos my father worked in the Navy I don't when and how we all learned to be polite but it is something that all of us siblings have naturally. Yes I do keep holding the door for somone following me into a store or at the movies, I also help the older people with their bags if they allow me and walk them to their car. It does not matter to me much if people appreciate me or not at that time but I know they sure do appreciate people like me (and You )when they face a rude person.
You had a bad experience today so do forgive the young girl is what I would say, but I sure meet a lot of people here who are polite and nice. But I can not say the same about New York city people, they are in ever so much hurry they forget to be curteous.
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
7 Apr 07
lol. New York is a whole different world...lol
1 person likes this
