how do you get rid of that green-eyed monster?
By shevamp
@shevamp (120)
Philippines
April 6, 2007 7:15am CST
my boyfriend and i have been steady for 4 months and i can't help getting jealous at times when his former gf sends him messages online, and when he goes on texting the whole day some female friends of his. no matter how harmless the messages are, i can't help it. i am trying my best to give him my 100% trust but some things happen which leads me to doubt him. he assures me everytime though that i am the only woman in his life but no amount of assurance from him can take away my doubts. i was never this jealous in my past relationship, and i really can't understand why i can't do the same with my current bf.
last night we almost broke up over a silly text message.
i don't want to go through that again, so please help!!!
2 responses
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
7 Apr 07
well i think if he really does care for you, the best thing he can / must do is toi stay aways from past girlfriends and do not keep on answering their messages. even if it is harmless, if for you they are sort of having some meaning, he should understand and avoid it. he wouldn't want to see you exchanging messages with guys too would he???
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I wouldn't know why men would want to remain friends with their exes, but some do. I on the other hand don't have any contact with any of them, even the ones where we ended our relationships nicely. I have jealousy issues too and am learning to deal with it. Positive reinforcement, when i get negative thoughts in my head to try to turn it into positive (i know sounds weird) but it helps. Let him have his time with his friends texting, emailing and so forth. As long as you are still his number one then it shouldnt really matter, he has chosen you over anyone else (more positive thinking)...these are the things I keep telling myself ...they work for me! Jealousy can also lead to being overprotective, suffocation and not being able to let your man breathe and have space... everyone needs their space and if you are going to come down on him for texting and emailing to his exes and friends, then its only going to get worse.
@4cuteboys (4099)
• United States
6 Apr 07
You are probably more jealous this time around because you care more for him than past boyfriends! Its been my experiance that I am very jealous when it comes to my husband, and it's because I care so much. Other people that I dated I didn't really care because if they left me, or flirted or whatever, it wasn't a big deal, I could always just move on! We have fought in the past over stuff like that, and eventually he got the picture and didn't text message or hang out or whatever with other chicks. There isnt alot you can do! You cant really change your feelings! If that's how you feel, you will either have to point it out to him without being angry otherwise he will just get defensive. Or you can just try to bite your tongue and not say anything.
@shevamp (120)
• Philippines
6 Apr 07
you're right. our fight last night ended when i finally initiated to drop the subject. he even thanked me for doing so. prior to that, i already expressed my intention of breaking up with him knowing i will never have peace feeling jealous every time. it usually happens when we are apart, and i figured it wud be best to end it while our relationship is still young. but he refused to break up with me and insisted on his faithfulness towards me. i gave it a thought and realized it wud be hard for me to lose him because i really do love him so much. it might take time, but perhaps i will just star practicing biting my tongue. sigh...still i thank you coz i really think too that i cant change my feelings and i will just have to live with it.
