Should i stay or should i go

You have written that he is controlling and manipulative and that you are just not happy. That says a lot. With all of the deaths, it does sound like the two of you have been through a lot over the last couple of years. BUT...in my experience, most folks, especially a man, if they are controlling and manipulative, they are not going to change. Also you say he has an issue with 'you having a life.' Sounds like an abuser or someone about to become one. From what you have described you would likely be better off without him.

sounds to me like your judgement is no longer operational the clouds have totally blocked the Sun I think reread what you just wrote, 3x then pretend its from a good friend, what would you tell her? maybe you have to figure it out yourself

In spite of the popular saying, Love, in fact, does not conquer all. Perhaps some couples counseling would help the two of you, but he is not going to change on his own. If you are unhappy, and have been for a long time, then it is time to do something about it. Wheather that something is counseling, or seperation, or something else, some action is needed. Like you said, this situation will probably not improve on its own. Good Luck.

life is too short to spend it in suffering.. if you're not happy with your relationship, then go. you are better off without some guy dragging you down ---- this is what i always tell myself ;)

life is too short to spend it in suffering.. if you're not happy with your relationship, then go. you are better off without some guy dragging to down ---- this is what i always tell myself ;)

better think hard about your relationship counseling will be very helpful but do something about it.we are suppose to be happy with our life not miserable.

If you truely love him, why should you think of leaving him

if you have a chance to leave then i would leave because guys like that usally eventually end up being violent.you may love this guy but eventually you will realise he was not right for you and it was best for you and your kids that you left.people like this do not change they may say they are going to but it will never happen that is just another way they are controlling.

well as i was going through the whole discussion there are a few tings i have found out.you are extremely tolerant,patient and ove your boy friend and your family a lot and respect family values.this was the first thing that struck my mind.i am sure things will work out buddy.all you need to have is faith and you sure have a lot of it.sit down and have a nice long talk.rekindle the sweet memories with you boyfriend.make him understand what you are going through.i am sure he ll understand and thing will brighten up for you guys.all it takes is a matter of time and things will get back to normal.

You shall forgive one another,take a heed do not make your heart harden when you hear the voice inside your hearts open up the door and forgive him and your Heavenly father will also forgive you but if do not forgive him you too never be forgiven by our heaven father when you request for a forgiveness.Man is not to blame for what he is,he did make himself.So you should stay not go.You and your boy friend are one where you need to go?You should stay.

If he's manipulative and controlling, and you're not happy, that tells me that you need to get out of there. Loving him is not going to make him stop being the way he is, and it won't make you happy while he treats you like crap. I think we all have a little glimmer of hope when things go bad that maybe, JUST maybe, they'll change. Unfortunately, often times, they just get worse. Your common sense is telling you what to do, but you're letting fear of change hold you back. If I were in your shoes, whether I was scared of leaving or not, I would get myself and my kids out of that situation and move on. You don't need someone controlling your life. At the end of the day, the ultimate decision has to be made by you. Nobody here can give you the answers. I wish you all the very best.

Sounds like you have a long history together as a couple. Since he is good to your children, it may be worth getting some counseling so that you can develop more balance in your relationship. It is possible to love someone and still be unhappy, but if you stay that way with no change, eventually you will fall out of love with him and the relationship will run its course.

Did u ever talk to him? maybe both of u can sit down and have a talk. u try to express out your feeling and thinking that you are feeling drowning becasue of his controlling. dun easily give unless you had try all the ways and consider all the factors in your relationship. but if u decided to leave him, then you must remind yourself no to regret so that you can have a better life later beacuse maybe you are going to meet someone that better than him.

You should go! Do whatever you think the best for you. But for me, you should go.

Hi friend, Why not go and after you have left . Then if he truly loves you and wants to be with you he will want to work it out. You guys might want to get counseling. Tell him if he wants to be with you then you guys need counseling. once he sees what he might lose , it might make him work harder on the relationship. if he does nothing then you will know hes not worth it.

I'm so sorry for your losses! You have been going through a really rough time. The fact that he is complaining about your family and activities that don't always include him is actually the first stage of abusive behavior. Abusers typically isolate their victims from their families and friends. He's not going to change his ways without serious counseling. PLUS he needs to want to change!! His controlling ways will only get worse the longer you are with him. The longer you stay, the more he will feel he owns you and has a right to demand compliance from you. You may need counseling yourself to be able to do this. You may need to examine why you are attracted to him to begin with. Frequently when women are looking for someone to "take care of them," they open the door for men who are very controlling and ultimately abusive. No one says it will be easy!!!! It will be well worth it in the long run. Only when you are free of him will you be able to find a man who truly has your happiness and personal growth as his main goal within your relationship. Good luck, and don't forget we're all here for you!

You can try counseling, but; speaking from experience, two husbands and three children, most people basically do not change. I put up with a jealous and controlling man for eleven years - basically due to fear of being alone and fear of loosing my children. My ex made me feel like I would never be able to find another man and would have no friends if I were to leave him. I finally became brave and took the first step after attendeing counseling. Even our counselor saw the control this man tried to have over me. She would ask me a question and he would answer for me! I was shocked when I finally got out on my own (with my children) to discover that people liked me! Men liked me too! He had made me think so little of myself that I was a scared, insecure, puppy dog! My self-esteem grew the longer I was apart from him. I started socializing with friends again, working out and feeling great. I knew deep in my heart that I could no longer live the way we were living and be happy. For me, divorce was the best thing I have ever done for both me and my children. You need to do some deep soul searching and decide what you can live with yourself. Children are not happy if there is always turmoil in the household. Give it time, it took me three years to finally break away. Just make a choice you can live with. Good luck to you. Carol

Guys who manipulate never change. I know its hard to leave someone like that, but you should. I've never been through anything that bad, but I once had a mean boyfriend who called a bad word once or twice. He'd cheat on me with a female friend and then lie about it. It was hard starting over, but if I didn't, I wouldn't be getting married soon to the most wonderful man on Earth! He cleans, cooks, is polite, and works hard.