cultural difference sucks!

Maybe ask him why he doesn't want you to teach him? I'm a Brit msyelf and one thing I would say is that we're not exactly a linguistically gifted race. The usual approach for a Brit when confronted by soemone speking other than English is to shout and speak slowly. :-) Seriously - the fact he's got a tutor is good, and it may be that he feels that it'll be easier being taught by a stranger than by someone he knows. Please don't take my next comment the wrong way, but does the fact that his tutor is female concern you? Are you a little concerned that he's interested in this other girl for reasons other than language tuition? I think you need to just ask why; it may be that he feels that a stranger is a better teacher than a friend. Like you said - cultural differences.

I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm in a long-distance relationship right now (and a lot of times I think this situation is even better than having to be together a lot of times). He's Austrian and I'm a Filipino. Initially, we're doing great; but time came when we were having difficulties understanding our cultural differences. First, he's very secretive and very sensitive to issues close to home. He'd always get angry at me whenever I would inquire about even the simplest things (like where he got his scar on his forehead). I'm just concerned! Secondly, whenever I would say, "I like him/her," he would always think that "like" can't be applicable to a friend, but would mean something more than that. Thirdly, his jokes are sometimes sarcastic. I don't like it when he jokes about women, especially about Filipinos. Fourthly, sometimes he would take my joke seriously, even after I would say that it was only a joke. There's so much more, so we just decided to separate for awhile, but we're still together (only on separate locations). In your case, it's kind of odd, too, if I think about it. It really takes a lot of understanding on either party to pull the relationship through. Hope you get to solve this problem. Happy myLotting!

well. for those people like me majoring in languages and cultuers..i think culture differences are good things. cos we are learning them eac h day. and for your boyfriend, i think we have to reconsider it carefully. well. maybe he is pretty eager to lean chinese so that he can speak chinese well with you, so you two would probably have no problems in intercultural communication. and there is still another possibility that he might be falling in love with another girl if he already has you.. so i suggest you check it out,otherwise i think your love wiht him would be in serious trouble. i bet you are are a chinese guy and why a foreigner. there are quite a lot of chiense guys i mena they are handsome. they are rich. why a foreigner. i hate them for my teacher.s

I think that you should be flattered that he wants to learn to communicate with you better. I think he is making an attempt to show you how interested he is in your culture. There should be no reason to feel that you can't overcome these things. They are small, although annoying. Maybe you should talk to each other about it and discuss your beliefs and annoyances.

Well, if it was me, I'd be upset. Specially if his tutor is a girl. It's because I'm the jealous type. If he's going to learn the language, I should just teach him and if he REALLY wants to learn formally, I'd want him to learn from a guy.

Cultural differences really speaks eventhough we are silent. Getting a tutor is the best way to learn rather than a close relative or love ones. People learn most of the time from strangers and sooner they become friends. that is how you started also. WE learn most of the time outside from home and not all is being learned from home or someone close. better have a broad mind and understand the situation. settle your feelings and dont get jealous.

i presumed your a chinese girl?if so then why does he have to look for another one to teach him when you could do the trick? maybe theres some motive behind it ..he wants to meet aother girl perhaps?? or im just a jealous type like you lol..its not reasonable to find another one i think..and your right you have to doubt his motive..

you shudnt lose hope dear. maybe the best thing is to go and talk to him and try sort out things. these cultural differences shud not be a hindrance in a good relationship.

Lol, we Brits are not the most linguistically race in the world lol. When someone speaks a different language we tend to shout and speal s.l.o.w.l.y. LOL. I wouldn't be too too worried about him getting a tutor though. I would find it a compliment that he wants to learn the language so he can talk to you in your native tongue. Maybe he just feels it's easier to learn from a stranger. That way, if he gets things wrong, you won't become frustrated with each other. Hence there won't be any arguments. I wish you luck.

I think it is unusual as well! Perhaps he learns differently than how you teach. Some people need not just conversation but also tools and exercises that a teacher makes them do. Or perhaps he wants to learn all the little grammar rules! I've found that most native speakers can tell what is poor grammer, but they cannot tell you why. I know this is true for myself in english. I know it "sounds wrong" but I couldn't tell you the grammatical rule being broken. Maybe this is a concern for him. Have you discussed your thoughts on this situation with him? Perhaps if he knew the troubling thoughts that you had, he would switch to a male tutor, or just let you teach him. I wish you luck!

Are you trying to say that your Borfriend is having an affair with that chinese tutor? Because that is my interpretation. Do you have proof about the affair? If none, I guess you are just jealous. You said that you you like each other. So why worry! besides, your relationship is at an early stage (6-7 months) Its too early to decide on the situation. If you will break up with him, you might regret it. Or if you are ready to do it because the instinct is so strong then go ahead and do it!

It's often much faster and easier to learn a language from someone who is used to teaching. He probably wants to be sure he's not only getting the words, but the syntax and grammar as well. I wouldn't be upset about it if I were you. I think you should be flattered that he wants to learn at all. And if he's willing to pay someone to teach him to speak your language, then that's an investment in your relationship. It's a good sign!

i would say you are lucky he's making an effort to learn your language, Im a filipina married to british/scottish also, we've been together for a couple of years now and he only knew a few tagalog words which i taught him. yeah having cultural differences is sickening sometimes, but its a matter of having patience with each other.