stand your ground

Being kind is something nearly everyone is, but you are right don't become a door mat. Sometimes in doing things for friends and family to make them happy is good at the time but when tou move away a little you will realize some people really do treat you as a door map because the take that kindness and abuse it....I know I have been there...

you are so correct my mom bless her heart used to say if you make a doormat of yourself someone will wipe thier feet on you !I have found this to be to true!

Being nice has always been part of my nature. I hate to hurt people's feelings. But in the past year, I have had to be tougher. Take my new neighbor - he has repeatedly bothered me, sometimes 6 times in one day, and won't take no for an answer when I turn him down for a date. I don't even go to the door now if I know it is him. I'm not going to be a doormat, especially for him. It's time I got a little tough.

being kind and accomodating is a good trait but you should also know the bouderies on helping people. sometimes when you give your hand to help they tend to get the whole arm. if you help once they will come back for more. helping people that may cause them to be depending on you is a doormat. it is a nice feeling to help but dont over do it.

That strikes me alot Ate thess well, being a doormat. its really hard for me to hurt somebody's feelings sometimes i tend to forget because i want to help but the fact is am i really helping them? "One is enough Two is too much"

This is the kind of conversation that I always wind up having with my mom. She has become such a doormat, letting friends and even strangers walk all over her. She recently had to have a 2nd hip operation, and within 2 days after she got home from the physical therapy that she had to go to after surgery, she was already babysitting her best friend's child, and it was overnight babysitting at that. I've told her that she needs to learn how to say "no" sometimes. I'm the opposite of her. I refuse to let people walk all over me. My husband and I have a neighbor who is always calling my husband to come over to fix something. Even after subtly dropping hints, she still continued doing this. It has gotten to the point where we hardly answer our phone or door anymore when we know it's her.

I totally agree with you thess. I am a very kind, accommodating type of person. I like to avoid confrontation when possible, but am not afraid of it. I believe that you can be kind and accommodating and not be a doormat. You just have to know where to draw the line. I have learned the differnce over the years.

Many people that are overly helpful and friendly towards others bring this problem on themselves. Sometimes they are lonely and needing a friend. Then they get in over their head and do not know how to stop it without looking like a bad guy.