Weird In Laws!

Just keep trying to explain to the kids that just because someone else does it, or it looks cool on someone else, doesn't mean they have to do it too. Tell them that people are individuals, and they need to do what is right for them, not what is right for someone else. Might not hurt to have ths same discussion with your mother-in-law.

I'm a granny but I don't spend my time baking pies and knitting nor have I any intentions of doing so in the future. When I look after my grandaughter (who is still a baby) we're usually dancing round like lunatics to AC/DC, not sitting in a rocking chair! And since when have kids wanted to look like their granny? I mean - I loved my granny but NO WAY would I ever have wanted to look like her!! I know your niece said she wanted her tongue pierced because her Nana had hers done but really that was probably more to get a reaction than anything else. Kids are usually good at working out what will push their parents buttons. In your MIL's case it sounds like she is making up for lost time which is common with women who have children very young. I had my daughter when I was 18 and there's no doubt you do miss out on a lot of things. The whole punk/goth thing might just be a phase she is going through - she may just need to get it out of her system. However even if it is something she sticks with then I don't really see the problem. Surely what matters is how she treats her grandchildren and whether she is a positive influence in their lives - and having body piercings and wearing strange clothes doesn't exclude her from being a positive influence.

I'm 55 years young with a son of 22 and, as the user ID suggests, I'm a goth and have been since its very beginning way back in the late 70's. I have four tattoos and wear goth clothes. Not all of us oldies are resigned to sitting in a rocking chair knitting you know. Heck, I was in the mosh pit at an Iron Maiden gig last December :-) If your Mum in Law wants to do what she wants, then good luck to her. No one has the right to dictate how to act and behave in this day and age, it is her right to decide for herself. If the younger kids think she is cool and want to copy her, all you really need to do is simply say, "when you are old enough to make up your own mind"

I guess she must have felt that she had missed a lot of things in life since she had kids when she was 16. I do believe its like a mid-life crisis thing that she's going through. Did you ever ask her why she's behaving this way? I think someone can just give her a gentle reminder that the grandchildren are at this impressionable age and could easily be influenced. However, please do so in a discreet manner as she might get offended. Good Luck!

WOW! Your kid's Nana sounds like fun, lol! I think if your daughter asks to get pierced, you should tell her that she can, when she turns 18 and can pay for it herself. Once she's 18 and can pay for it herself, your opinion won't matter as much, anyway. Your MIL sounds like she missed her window of opportunity to have a moratorium. This is what most kids/teens/young adults do in high school and college -- they experiment and try new things to see if they like them. She never got that chance and now that she's got the time and means, she wants to do it. If you feel comfortable with that, great! If not, you should talk to her about your concerns, so your kids don't get mixed messages or anything. You may feel that it's late for her to return to that mindset or lifestyle, but clearly she doesn't and she intends to. Some things are simply beyond our control and understanding, lol!

I don't know. To be honest, I don't see a huge problem with it. I don't see why people should have to "act" a certain way, or why she should look like a Nana just because she is one. I actually think it sounds kinda cool, as long as she is smart about it. Like if the kids wanted their eyebrow pierced, she could say "It is okay when you're my age, but you have to wait til you're 16".

YIKES!!! Well it's really her choice what she does with her body however your children are too young to be able to do what ever they want with theirs. I would have a talk with her and ask her to tone it down at least when she is around her grandchildren. At least with yours. Just ask her to take out the extra earrings in the tounge and eyebrows and that when she is with your children and cover the tattoos too if she has them. Really she does need to understand that you don't want your kids to just follow her example. It's bad enough when friends their own age have stuff like that but to have a grandmother who is also making a statement that it is completely normal it really looks like everyone is doing it. She doesn't have to change completely just be respectful of how you are raising your children.

smeone's going through a crisis, may be she wants to revisit her youth, I suggest try and talk to her and get her enroolled in some dance classes or something she likes instead of becoming a punk. tell her if you have to that she looks dreadful in the getup. soemtimes you have to be cruel when saying the truth to face but I think in long run she will be sorry and ashamed of what she is doing right now. Its better if the family talks to her.

Yes, that is weird for a grandmother. I would try talking to her about it. Maybe she doesn't realize how ridiculous she looks. If that doesn't work then I think I would kind of limit her contact with my kids somewhat. Maybe explain to the kids that grandma is a little strange but you still love her.

I think your MIl is probably going through some crisis. I mean who in that age would want to get piercings done or wear gothic clothes. I think the family needs to sit down with her and tlak this out. let her know her actions have repurcussions as can be seen by your niece getting her tongue pierced. Tell her to tone it down just a bit atleast in front of the kids. Im sure she will understand if you explain it to her nicely as a family.

I think Nana has the right to choose what she wants to look like and be comfortable with that. However, when she's doing it in front of the kids, and they're young and impressionable, she's going a bit too far. Young kids are impressionable anyway, and the fact that Nana has such a huge influence over them is going to cause some major headaches. The family needs to sit down with her and talk this over. Explain that you're not trying to tell her how she can and can't look as such, just that you're worried about the influence that this is going to have on her grandkids. Hopefully she'll tone it down just a bit. I wish you luck.

How old is you MIL? I think that she might be trying to fit in and doesn't know how, so she is trying to be cool and acting like a 16 yr old. What does your husband think? I am 43 and would never get my tongue peirced and I am not a grandma. Something is going on with this woman. Very weird. What about her children who have children that she is influencing? Do you all feel this is inappropriate? If so, maybe you all should have a talk with her and tell her that she is a huge influence on your children and you don't feel she is teaching them appropriate behavior with all the piercings ect. Maybe if she realizes that you aren't happy with this, she will change. If it were me, I would not bring my child around as much due to this weird behavior and I would tell her that is why I am not bringing my child around. Good luck.

I agree with you, she needs to be grown up and not act like she is 16 now. If she has many grandchildren then she should think about how that affects them. Hang in there and hopefully it is just a stage that passes.

Someone needs to tell her to start acting her age. It's bad enough when kids have people like Paris Hilton and co to influnce the things they are doing, but when you have a grandmother who is obviously going through some sort of crisis, the lin needs to be drawn somewhere. I would not be letting my kid see too much of her until she starts acting like the mature person she should be!

My mother got her nose pierced and my daughter hasn't asked to get hers done. I think your MIL is an adult, she done raised her kids, she can do what she wants. You are the parent of your kids and you can tell them no when the time comes and that Nana is an adult and they are not.