Why do children do the exact opposite of what they're told?
By theponch
@theponch (198)
United States
April 9, 2007 6:11am CST
My 7 and 10 year olds have a complete mind of their own. The 10 year old, of course, influences the 7 year old to do the wrong thing more often than not. When they are separate they are less likely to not listen. I guess the bide for my attention, but this is not constructive. It frustrates me when they "act up" in front of other adults. Do you share a similar problem? What do you do about it? How do you take more control over their actions? Have you come to your wits ends at times?
the ponch's wife
1 person likes this
7 responses
@theponch (198)
• United States
14 Apr 07
I really can't do this this with my deaf daughter because everything is her way or no way. It is embarassing to try to correct her in front of other adults as well. In the deaf culture I'm told that the children learn so much by doing for themselves that they come off with a very strong and dominate personality. I'm learning as I go, and my daughter is 10 now.
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
9 Apr 07
THis is a job for nanny 911!! Wouldn't we all like to have children that listen to us. It is just a normal thing. My kids are exactly the same way. If you think they are looking for attention, don't give it to them when they act up, rather give it to them more when they are behaving. Start recognizing the times they are doing listening and compliment them. Tell them how proud you are of them for listening, or doing as they are told. when they act up, remove them from the situation. Have them go to a seperate room and stay there until you go back to talk to them. Give them time to think about what they have done and then talk to them about appropriate behaviors. Don't feel embarrased to do this to them in front of other adults. I have found that when my children are seperated from the situation right away, they learn a lesson. If I wait until we are home to talk to them about it they act the same way next time we are with others. It takes time. Good luck.
@4cuteboys (4099)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Yes my kids have done this before, and also when the oldest two were younger, if I was on the phone they found that to be prime time to try and color on the walls, jump around, get into stuff they knew they werent supposed to be in and all that. Eventually with me talking to them about it, they finally got it. Now my 5 year old is a little hard to deal with when other adults are over, but he's getting better. I think my problem was when I was tending to a phone call, I didn't correct them right away. Now I do. And when adults are over, I am not afraid to pull the kids aside and talk to them about their behavior and calling it out on the spot seems to help. It can be so frusterating though.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
10 Apr 07
They do the opposite of what their told BECAUSE THEY CAN. They are testing their boundaries. Trying to see how far they can go. Yes, I have the same problem. My children challenge me all the time.
My biggest problem is lack of consistency. I hate to be a tyrant all the time, so I go easy on them at times but then they take advantage of it, then I become angry with them and start becoming strict.
Then I feel guilty that I'm not letting them have fun or letting them be independent enough, so I back off again. It's a vicious cycle.
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